URGENTMelinda in Allendale VA

Terry B.
on 9/29/10 5:41 am, edited 9/29/10 5:43 am - Martinsville, IN

Melinda A.
Annandale, VA
Joseph D. Afram M.D. RNY (02/16/10) Member Since: 12/17/02
[Latest Posts]

Post Date: 9/29/10 11:58 am
Sooo, I am completely depressed -- I might even say suicidal. The other night, my full bottle of ambien was calling my name - I had to leave the house so as not to take the whole thing. I am always thinking to myself "I wish I would die of something so that I don't have to take my own life." I don't think I am "brave" enough to do it myself-- though I often wish I were. I mean, I would be pretty glad if my life ended ---I just don't want to hurt my family.

I have been through this before - but now I have new insurance. I don't know how to access my psych care. Obvioulsy, I should just call the insurance company -- but that just seems like "too much work" for me, right now. So that is the excuse that I am using to justify my not getting help. That and the fact that I don't think anything is going to help, anyway. Therapy, blah.... it's never helped before. Also, I do not want to be admitted to the hospital, so I am refusing to contact anyone even though I know I should. I feel so despondent -- I don't care enough to get this fixed -- or even know if it can be fixed.

I know many of you have dealt with these issues. I don't know what I want from posting this topic other than to tell "someone" that I need help and don't know how/won't get it.

This is a poster on the RNY board that is severely depressed. If anyone in VA is close to her and can help her get treatment please go to the RNY board and contact her.

I am only one, But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do
the something that I can do.
    Edward Everett Hale
                    Onederland 1/26/2010