Moment of Weakness
I considered emailing my friends this, but then decided OH was the best place to declare my MOMENT OF WEAKNESS. This goes out to all the Grads and Newbies...even a WLS success story (which I consider myself to be) has moments like this:
- I DO NOT EAT SUGAR...AT ALL. I'm not kidding you here. In two and a half years, not one candy or cake or cookie has entered my mouth. I'm DILIGENT about it. My reasoning was that I didn't want to know if I dumped or not. I was scared that if I DIDN'T I would cookie and cake myself right back to being heavy again. SIGH.
So what do I do? I finally tried a "treat" a few days ago. A few bites of a sugary delight. And true to my fears, I was fine...so another few bites. Before you knew it, I had eaten a single serving size of dessert. Thank goodness I was smart enough to only buy the single serving size - actually the two pack - but a gf ate the other piece so that was all I had access to. I was fine. UGG. I reasoned with myself that it was okay, I had myself a treat and I was fine and could go along in life knowing this.
But WAIT! That's not the moment of weakness...after somewhat of a bad day...I was at the grocery store and picked up all my healthy stuff. I did good. The line was long. I was eyeing the candy. Eyeing my FAVORITE. And I bought it. I'm so upset writing this, I want to cry. BUT, I'm proud to report THE TWO PACK OF REESES PEANUT BUTTER CUPS is still sitting on my kitchen counter uneaten. I'm throwing them in the trash and promptly taking the trash to the dumpster this am.
I feel defeated. I feel terrible. What is wrong with me? See, this is why I never wanted to try sugar. I was so scared and now all I can think about is freaking peanut butter cups.
I know you all understand...
- I DO NOT EAT SUGAR...AT ALL. I'm not kidding you here. In two and a half years, not one candy or cake or cookie has entered my mouth. I'm DILIGENT about it. My reasoning was that I didn't want to know if I dumped or not. I was scared that if I DIDN'T I would cookie and cake myself right back to being heavy again. SIGH.
So what do I do? I finally tried a "treat" a few days ago. A few bites of a sugary delight. And true to my fears, I was fine...so another few bites. Before you knew it, I had eaten a single serving size of dessert. Thank goodness I was smart enough to only buy the single serving size - actually the two pack - but a gf ate the other piece so that was all I had access to. I was fine. UGG. I reasoned with myself that it was okay, I had myself a treat and I was fine and could go along in life knowing this.
But WAIT! That's not the moment of weakness...after somewhat of a bad day...I was at the grocery store and picked up all my healthy stuff. I did good. The line was long. I was eyeing the candy. Eyeing my FAVORITE. And I bought it. I'm so upset writing this, I want to cry. BUT, I'm proud to report THE TWO PACK OF REESES PEANUT BUTTER CUPS is still sitting on my kitchen counter uneaten. I'm throwing them in the trash and promptly taking the trash to the dumpster this am.
I feel defeated. I feel terrible. What is wrong with me? See, this is why I never wanted to try sugar. I was so scared and now all I can think about is freaking peanut butter cups.
I know you all understand...
369/175/136
Highest Weight/Goal/Current Weight
233lbs LOST!!
Maintenance going strong!
i completely understand... whats worse is knowing what the dumping feeling feels like.. and i still did it... and i admit i still do... before i would of had lets say a hand ful of hot tamales and feel sick, hot flashed, feverish, dizzy, weak, felt like a flu for 30 minutes to a hour.... but now im being good.. i avoid it for #1 im back on track and working my butt off.. and #2 i hate that feeling.. but the other day... it only took 2 little peices of candy to set me off... i guess because ive avoided sugar for the last 2 months
whats worse is some things did it to me and some didnt... so now i just avoid it all... if its above 8grams of sugar i dont eat it.
sooo i understand and its good you threw it out... good job!!
Beth
Thank you all for your responses! It's good to have people to share with who have been there. I haven't had any cravings as of late, though I DID enjoy watching my friend enjoy a mini dessert in front of me that I got for free with my meal. The waiter asked what I wanted and I smiled and said - she'll be choosing. I always tell me to explain how it tastes to me. LOL!
369/175/136
Highest Weight/Goal/Current Weight
233lbs LOST!!
Maintenance going strong!
No need in feeling shame we all do it I have and I still do eat it and feel like **** sleep it off and beat myself up and down and swear it off and say never again. And before I know it Im doing something else Ilcome up w/ an excuse I was good for a few months oh that looks good I need a treat or damn Im depressed always an excuse. As far as the groc. stores I o my own check outs thrw the express so my hands are busy and I dont think about those tempting ass candy bars ****** me off they have them right there to tempt us, and you know me I have even gone to the managers of the stores and told them remove he damn **** put behind doors like hey do the tabacco products lol. Its illegal to us!!! And of corse you can see there still there. Something make me very ill some things dont. But you have to do whats best for YOU its like drinking for meI have to make the right choices for myself everyday eating and drinking are a strugle but I maintain and pat myself everyday. You did the right thing chalk it up as a bd choice for the day and let it go if it happens again move forward dont dwell. Its ok we ALL do just some are chicken to admit. I aplaud you for coming forth and being honest that is the big thing for us all to do thats how we help one another you go girl keep upth great work you look awesome. Hope all is well with everything else Havent talked w/ you in a whil been busy and havent been here in a while seen this and needed to chime in. Hugs..
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