Why is it......

that I can not seem to let go of all my "fat" clothes?

Ever since I have been under growing my clothes, I have been removing them from my closets. When the pile got too large, I put them in boxes. This has been going on since about 6 months after my surgery. As the time has gone on, and clothes got big for me, I have just been throwing them on top of the boxes. I have EVERY intention of getting rid of them, passing them on to someone who could use them because we all know how hard it is to find decent, appealing plus size clothes.

Well.... since the start of my "collecting" my "fat" clothes began, around last September or October, I have accumulated about 10 medium size boxes, stuffed to the point of barely being able to shut, OVER FULL of clothes. On top of all these boxes, half way up the wall of my downstairs, lies more clothes that are too big. I would estimate there to be about 200 pieces of clothes there. NONE of which I can fit.

I have lost 202 lbs since my heaviest, 2 months before my surgery. I have gone from a size 30 to a 14/16. There is NO way any of those clothes would remotely stay on me much less look decent. WHY is it that they are still sitting in my house? WHY is it that I CAN NOT nor WILL NOT get rid of them?

I know the reason. The biggest part of me is scared TO DEATH that I will end up needing those clothes, those sizes again, at some point in my life. I have the uncontrolable fear that I will gain weight, all the 202 lbs, if not more, back again. The fear became worse when my "eating or lact there of" issues became so evident and when my weight loss stood still for 2 or so months. I have been talking about these issues with someone, and do have an appointment with a psychiatrist who specializes in bariatric surgeries, as well as transplant surgeries and those people suffering with chronic terminal illnesses, (so she fits more than 1 bill).

I hate not being able to control my getting rid of things. I do not want to turn into a hoarder! And I would LOVE to be able to look into a mirror, at any point of any day and SEE the weight loss, not the 356 lb woman I used to be, the woman I WILL NEVER BE AGAIN!

Thanks for listening and I am very open to any and all suggestions or ideas!!!

I kept mine for a while.  A reminder of how mich weight I have lost.   Kind of a nice feeling.
I did the same thing with boxes.     Over the last several months I started to bag them and send them to the Salvatiion Army and a local womans shelter.   Help that my husband took them.  

My new memory is my well organized closet.    Just painted the inside of my closet too.

You have gone through alot this year.  Sounds like you are now on the path to reorganizsation.   Good thing.   You are now considering moving on to your new clothing and letting the old 356 person .   

Make it a job of sorts.  And just think of the great tax deduction by giving the clothing.

You should be so proud of yourself

Oh honey I feel your pain.

I lucked out and had an older sister who needed (and wanted with green eyed jealousy) my clothes back home, so as I "undergrew" them...great term by the way!...I just gave them to her.

But it is VERY hard to get rid of those clothes and I think there are several factors. First like you said, it is HARD to find attractive plus sized clothes and they're expensive when you do find them. I don't know about you, but I had some clothes that I absolutely loved and that pained me terribly to give away and then (knife to the heart) see my sister wearing....not nearly as elogently as I did I might add. And there is a huge fear of some day actually needing those clothes again; after all, how many times have we lost weight only to regain it plus some extra? It's the story of our lives.

I think you're doing exactly what you need to do by getting into counseling. They'll be able to help you work on those underlying fear issues so that you can take those boxes to goodwill or a shelter and get them into the hands of people who need them and can use them....because you've made life time changes :) You're not going to need them again. And the counselor will be able to help you learn coping skills to make sure you can deal with lifes stresses to ENSURE you don't go back to old eating habits and patters so you don't regain that weight again.

It'll be okay. It just takes time. We all handle this in our own way and in our own time. You're doing what's right for you and you're seeking the help you need. That's the most anyone could ask of you...including yourself!

Teresa - it is hard to let go - there is no doubt about it -  the fear of buying yet more clothes once you have given the other ones away never leaves us...........

But this is a brand new you now!  Give them away a few boxes at a time if you must but think how happy your clothes will make someone at the holiday season - we all know how hard it is to buy nice plus size clothes, especially at the holiday season. So you could look on this as a gift from you to someone else who is probably as miserable as you were at that size....

Good luck with your therapist - she sounds very qualified - she may be able to help you understand all of your thinking and help you come to terms with it...

Jackie

Sounds like you are doing pretty well with knowing you need some extra head help & are on the path  to fixing it all.  In the beginning it was easy for me as my sister is the same size I was so I gave my stuff to her.  As I kep getting smaller I had a few other sisters who could benefit.  Then it was donations to thrift stores where I could get tax deductions or clothing swaps at support group meetings.

My first idea for you when I read this.  Put it up for sale on ebay and use the money you earn for a new wardrobe.  :)