Dealing with Restaurants

I meant to post this last week, but forgot.  Sorry.

Our newbies have been wondering how to deal with restaurants (thanks Brenda for bringing it up last week).  Being a restaurant junkie, I've got lots of experience in this area.

First, OH has designed a card (more like a huge freaking placcard!) that you can print out & present at restaurants, that indicates you have had wls & will need to order off the children's menu. It has a place for your name, your surgeon's name & number should the restaurant want to check up on your claim (but none have ever done so to me or anyone I know).  I have a wallet-sized replica of the thing so if you would like it, just PM me with your regular email & I will send it to you as an attachment.  It's a word doc, & I have it designed to where you can type in the missing info.  I suggest picking up a laminating sheet from Walmart (I just got one for mine) cuz it will fray after awhile.

I realize that some of you are still not comfortable letting the world know you had wls, but there are no banners or brass bands or over-the-loud-speaker announcements at restaurants telling everyone your business.  It is a discreet way for YOU to inform the restaurant of your special dietary needs.  I was pleasantly surprised when I presented my card at my favorite buffet nearby...they don't advertise it, but they give a child's rate for wls patients!  We ate there tonight...son's cost $14.95 but mine only cost $6.98!  And it was SEAFOOD NIGHT!!

Some restaurants don't like it when you try to order off the kiddie's menu.  A wait person in Culpeper said he'd have to check with the manager first, which he did.  The manager came to our table & said he would have to charge $2.00 more for the child's portion.  Are you kidding me?  No, I'm not kidding you!  I pointed out that it wasn't fair to charge me for something I'm not getting, which is more portion.  Duuuh!  Especially when I was sitting there with 6 other people that were more than willing to get up & walk out if he wouldn't accomodate my needs without a penalty.  Hmm...let's see...stick to his guns & force me to pay more for less & watch at least $100 table walk out, or give in?  He made the right choice.  I'm not all about confrontation, but I am about not discriminating.  So don't be afraid to press the issue...most times you can turn it around in your favor.  As it is, even with a kiddie's portion, I STILL walk out with a doggie bag anyway!

I was at Olive Garden in Winchester with a friend that couldn't eat solid foods yet.  So I called ahead of time, spoke to the manager, & asked if it would be possible to run her soup through a blender to puree it for her.  He said no problem!  I asked the same at Chili's in Manassas & they said they couldn't...they don't have a blender in the kitchen.  I pointed out that they DO have a blender at the bar...couldn't they use that one & then just wa**** afterwards?  They said no.  Lazy was the name of that tune!  Ordinarily I would have pressed the issue, but it wasn't prudent at the time, so I let that battle go.  I'm not finished with Chili's yet though...lol.

The point I'm trying to make here is if you don't ask, you won't find out.  And it's ok to press the issue a bit without making a scene (well, except for the jerk in Culpeper...he just plain pissed me off with his attitude!).  Most restaurants are willing to accomodate your special needs to make a sale, because usually there's more than one person at your table, right?  But even if you're dining alone, ask anyway.  You may be pleasantly surprised.  Oh, going back to that buffet place...I took 15 people to their place for lunch...all but 2 were wls people...it cost me less than $100 for EVERYBODY!! And that included drinks!

Another thing to do, & make it a habit...at the same time that you put in your order, ask for a take-out container to be brought with your meal.  Unless you're sharing with someone else that doesn't have to eat like a bird, you WILL have leftovers, even with kid-sized portions. (Let's face it...most "kid" meals are waaay too much for a kid!)  Leave on your plate ONLY the portion size that you know you can eat, & then take the rest home for later.

Don't be afraid to "modify" your restaurant meal.  If it comes with a sauce, ask for the sauce on the side or if you don't want the sauce, say so.  Substitue starch for veggie or just tell them to leave it off your plate.  Whatever it is, most places will accomodate.  Again, it's about the almighty dollar & they don't want to lose a whole table of business.

Well, that's all the tips I can think of at the moment.  Anyone else have any pearls of wisdom or experiences they'd like to share?

Ann,

You are totally right with this post!  I personally dont order off the child's menu due to most items are fried or full of carbs. As for restaurants that have issues: Golden Corral!! I went there after surgery and took my card with me and ask for kids price they only offered me senior citizen price and it was only $.50 less than full price!! Are you serious?? I havent been back since. I prefer to go to Olive Garden or O'Charleys for lunch and get the unlimited soup and salad..No i cant eat alot but it is alot cheaper than a meal you dont know if you can tolerate or not.

The buffet place we went to up at your house was excellent!! I havent been to a buffet where they had more healthy food available so wish they had one down here!

Some people dont mind telling they had surgery where others do  its just what you are comfortable with... I would tell people when I wanted to tell them  but I had an incident where a friend and i were working out at the gym and she announced to everyone we came in contact with that i had WLS and i had it easy in the gym..BULLS**T!!! We have to work just as hard as anyone else to get tone and fit exercise wise!!

All newbies  we are proud of you for making this life altering decision to be healthy and happy. We need each other for support and friendship!!

I have three thoughts on this subject...and we all know I am opinionatied!

First is try and ask for modifications on the kids menu...such as broiled fish or seafood instead of fried and sub the french fries side out for something better.  I always ask and 99% of the time I am accomidated.  Lets face it...the choices on the kiddie menu's are not usually the healthiest!

Second...when it comes time to tip...do so as if you were purchasing a regular size meal.  The waiter still served you and does not deserve to be "stiffed".

Lastly...you don't always have to advertise up front about needing to order differently because of WLS.  I just ask for a kids menu and order and only tell if asked.  If I need something fixed special I just say (truthfully) that I have dietary restrictions.  99% of the time they are more than willing to help!

Great post, Ann.  I just popped in and thought I would add my 2 cents worth.  Nothing in here that I can see will "get me in trouble"...lol. 

Hi Ann,

I would like an email with the smaller version of the card, please.

[email protected]

I emailed my favorite restaurant yesterday. It is a "family" style, all you can eat, that is brought to your table....good country food. I have not received a response, but I know I cannot eat $15 worth of food. I usually don't mind paying full price for a regular meal if I can take home the leftovers. But I don't get my money's worth at a buffet.

Thanks, Penny

Great post Ann :)

I never used the card. In the beginning when I went out to restaurants I didn't have issues with having to order off the children's menu because frankly most that I've encountered are not good choices for me to begin with. I have never had issue with saying to any person I'm not able to eat certain things because I've had WLS. I'm proud of my surgery.  

I don't make a habit of eating out often and if I do I usually am with others who have no problem splitting something with me. Its awesome that a lot of folks tend to make better choices when we are with them. At least that's what has happened in my situation. Also, there are some places that allow ordering the "lunch" portion instead of dinner. 

There are times when I've ordered something I'm comfortable taking home and will be able to eat for another meal. Otherwise, I usually go for the foods I know that I'm comfortable eating and forgo any sides which usually most places take off a few bucks as sides are a lot of times "added" to the meat, fish etc.

In my situation the comments, looks and/or questions don't come with the ordering of my meal.  Its when I'm asked what I would like to drink. I say up front nothing to drink for me thanks. That is when I get looks and questions like "are you sure?" "How about a glass of water?" No thanks. Most cannot fathom someone not wanting something to drink. Eating and drinking is something I've been focusing hard on and its been helping me a great deal.

Another tip that's been helpful when it comes to restaurants is if possible seeing their menu before going so that you can acquaint yourself with what they have to offer so once you get there you are confident in what you wish to have. 

ALL BEST! 

 

What I have found to be beneficial is if I know where I am going to eat, I get online and look up their menus to see what they have.  I will look up the nutritional information so I can go there and make some good, healthy decisions regarding food. 

During those times when I end up some place I am not familiar with, I just follow the rule of focusing on protein, and anything else has to be healthy, such as a salad.  Doggy bags (boxes) are wonderful for all of the food that is left over....the family loves it when I come home with them. 

Great post, Ann!  :)

I do not do the kiddie menu as they are often fried.     Ruby Tuesday is great about allowing us to have the kiddie price for the salad bar.     I order sauses on the side or ask that they keep the
salt based items off the meat.   Most are very accomodating.  Ask what is put on the meat, there are soooo much crap put on meat these days.    


The biggest thing I find is the waiters freek out when you do not want a drink.    I make them feel better by asking for a glass of water. I goes on the other side of the table. 

Dinners are often too big these days.   My husband and I share a dinner.    He supporting me and has changed his eating habits too  Works for us.   He has lost 75 lbs or course - some of it was from cancer treatment.  His is doing well by the way. 

I don't normally use my card or order from the kid menu.  It just isn't something I have ever really done, except when I was in Vegas and all of the buffets.  I will do a "kiddie" sized burger if there is that option and that is what I am wanting.  I also usually substitute my fries out, one because they aren't a good choice and two, when I do crave them and cave in, they don't sit well.  I will ask for other accomodations, take boxes home, share with others, etc.  With my family it is actually pretty easy as my oldest girlie eats like a bird so her & I share a lot, and the youngest eats like a man (sports) so a lot of times she will eat off of my plate also.  Hubby is good about sharing with me too.  As for the drink factor, I just ask for a glass of water, need it to take my vitamins anyway, and usually someone else in my family takes it anyway. 

Wow, I love all the responses!!  Good job!!

Just to clarify something, I know I kept referring to the kids menu, but only as a reference to smaller portions.  Ya'll are correct...most items on the kids menu are not good for us.  Heck, they're not good for the kids either.  I should have made this clear in my original post.

I like Tammy's way of explaining to the wait staff...dietary restrictions. They don't need to know WHY you have those restrictions, just that you do! Good point Tams!!

The non-drinking issue...another good point.  I forgot to account for that one so thanks for covering me, ya'll!  I usually will ask for an unsweet iced tea & rarely will drink it.  I do need it for sips now & then because it helps me to determine if I have a log jam.  I can't feel when food is going through my band, but I CAN feel cold liquid, so I take a teeny sip & then wait to feel it go through.  It also eliminates that odd look ya'll mentioned that you get from the wait staff.

Swapping out the bad for the good...I do that too.  I can't even stand the taste or textures of fries anymore...they taste so pastey...blech! So instead I go for a veggie.  I think it was Caroline that mentioned all the "stuff" they put on meat these days.  That is soooo true!!

Oh, Tammy made another good point, the one about tipping.  I'm a fairly generous tipper anyway, but still a good point.

And sharing meals...that's a good one too.  Matt & I do that all the time, but not so much with Mr. Mike, unless it's dessert.  Then I take a bite or two & he eats the rest! lol

So newbies, did you find any of this helpful?  We'd like to hear your thoughts too, please.

Can you please send me a card as well.  I have had good luck with Arby's accomodating me for my once a week Grilled Chicken Salad visit.  They will provide it to me in the correct portion size and sans bread etc at the cost of a Arby's Jr. Sandwich. Perfectly portioned and easy to track the nutritional info on. Ask at your Arbys.