My life, as I know it... lately! VERY VERY long!!

Shew!! It definitely has been an interesting spring and summer for my family and me. I have been gone, absent or at least sparingly in my appearance and even though there is no real excuse, it unfortunately couldn't have been helped. I have been reading, usually every couple of days or so, so at least I have been able to keep up but as much as I hate to admit it, I just haven't been able to post, whether it be due to physical reasons or more than likely, emotional reasons.

As most know, I had my open heart surgery in April, just weeks before it was my 1 yr surgiversary from my RNY. Things with that went better than I thought but unfortunately the road after the immediate healing hasn't been an easy road to travel. My heart didn't recover as we had thought it would with the surgery and is slowly getting worse. They are looking at putting in a defibrillator in probably around October after another ultrasound to confirm the last one. After my surgery, I was given orders to take an aspirin every day, as do most heart patients, especially ones who have had heart surgery. I did as ordered, faithfully taking that pill, unbeknownst to me the damage it was doing. Two weeks ago, I was rushed to the ER by ambulance with plummeting blood pressure and rapid pulse. The lowest the BP got was 53/47 and my pulse was 212. Of course, with my history, we think immediately that it was heart related. However, after fainting in the restroom at the hospital and then being given a bedside commode, the nurse noticed that the bowel movements I was having was nothing but blood. I was told I had a gastro intestinal bleed, hell I didn't even know I had an ulcer, an was being admitted. The next day, Tuesday, they did an EGD, cauterized it and shot it with epinepherine to shrink the size. It was right where they reconnected the intestines to my new pouch. I ended up getting a blood transfusion and had 4 pints of blood put into me. My labs were shot to hell and I was drained. I was discharged after 3 days and have been slowly trying to recooperate. The pain and the burning are unbearable and my fear of eating, which I have had since my RNY is now much more stronger than it was. But the emotional phase of it was worse. How the hell did I do that to myself.

I was stupid to not know that an aspirin was just as dangerous as an NSAID and that I should NOT have been taking it without something to protect my stomach. Why didn't I mention it to my WLS dr that I was taking it but more important... Why didn't I realize that the pains I have been having for weeks, or months, meant something more than over eating, eating too fast or the wrong types of food. I had been having pains as I said for weeks and maybe months. A sharp pain, usually burning first, when I ate or drink but NOT always. I guess the not always is what made me not think that it was an ulcer, or anything serious to begin with. Because of my lack of knowledge I almost literally bled to death in my own home without even knowing that that should have been the reason to go to the ER.

Now things are going to be much different. I have spoken to my WLS dr and have an immediate emergency appt with him on Tuesday. We will discuss the ulcer, what to do about the aspirin that I still need to take and of course, my horrible nutritional intake. I have faltered and am failing at my WLS. Just because I am down 200+ lbs doesn't mean that I am a success. I need help, guidance and prayers. But more importantly... I want to tell everyone to LISTEN TO THEIR BODIES. Pains lasting hours, much less days or weeks or months are not normal. I could have died that day and it's my own fault.

I am making sure I get the help I need both for my WLS and my ulcer but also for the emotional issues I am having. I don't really know why I wrote this but I do feel better. I just hope that 1 person listens to me and to their body. Hopefully things will improve with those 2 things and then I can get the old heart to start mending. Having a for real broken heart hurts... Sigh.... Thanks for all the prayers and interest. It means alot to me.

Tm - thanks for sharing your lessons learned with us, i will continue to keep you close in prayer. lys

Theresa   You are in our continued thoughts and prayers. 

Theresa Marie,  You have been in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to be!   You have been on my mind and l knew something was going on but not to what extent.  l also appreciate you opening up and sharing your struggle with us!  l hope you are now on the road to recovery and that it is a quick one both phsically and emotionally.  Hang in there!  We're here for ya!

Theresa, the reason you wrote this is to help others to understand what you have been through and what could possible go on with them. I am gratefrul that you did. I will be keeping you in my prayers and hope that you get better and take it one day at a time sweetie. I am getting better with my ulcer and know how bad it feels and also how I now have to watch everything that I eat.

Theresa, the above post was actully writen by me pat and not Kat. I did not realize that Kat had signed in on my computer.

Hey Sweetie...

Just wanted to respond here for you.  You are doing ALL of the right things and you know that I know where you're coming from.  Continuing to share your story and your emotions not only helps YOU but, it helps others as well.
I'm thinking of you and we're praying for you at my house as you know.  I'm sure I'll talk to you soon.  Hang in there, sweets...it'll get better!
 

Lisa

Theresa:

I am sorry you have been through so much.  You are obviously very strong.  Hang in there and get better soon. 

Theresa, it is amazing how things happen.  I was driving in to work this a.m. and your name fluttered through my mind so I sent up some prayers for you.  Thank you for being brave enough to share your story.  Not only are you helping yourself but you are helping all the others here.  I hope that you heal soon.

Theresa Marie i hope all goes well for you. I hope that people really start to listen to there bodies and know when something is wrong. i will keep you in my thought for a speedy recovery.