im happy for her...

ok, so my friend is scheduled to have RNY on Jan. 28th...she's been through so much in the last couple years so,im really truly happy for her..excited and ecstatic for her.  she is in a good place in her life for this..something she'll have just for her.....and ive already told her that i support her in every way, will be there for her..im driving her there and staying the day with her...

so, why am i jealous in a way? ..is it jealousy? can it be?? ..ive had the surgery, im down 90 pounds ...so why do i have mixed emotions about it?

weird or what?

Could it be maybe you wish YOU would have had that kind of support?  you are a FABULOUS friend! lys

I second what Lys said...thanks for being such a great friend!

Maybe because you are a little worried for her and remember how it felt when you went for surgery........  amd maybe you did not have as good a friend to help you as she does!

Jackie

Good am,

Naw not weird at all. Normal really. Not sure its jealousy. I think it more like worry/concern. I went through this with a friend of mine about 2 year ago (I'll be 6 years post-op this month). Its wanting the best and remembering all you've been through and praying for the best outcome in it all. Try talking with her about it. Communication does wonder!

Ok....this one I kinda understand and have been trying to figure out for myself.  I kinda have the same thing going on in my life but a different event (it's physical fitness and family memebers).

From what I can figure out on my own is this:

1.  I did not get the amount of support and kudos that I have given.  I know...sounds selfish, but hey...I want to be recognized for my accomplishements too.

2.  It feels like they stole my thunder.  Growing up I was NEVER allowed to be athletic.  My sisters were.  So, it felt great that I was the one as an adult who became the athlete.  And now here they come.  It felt like competition.  In fact, one of my sisters ran in an event with me last year - she never ran before and "trained" to run an 8K in less than 6 weeks.  needless to say...she walked, while I ran.  And later I found out she only did it so she could put it on her bio for the gym she was going to, because they wanted to make her member of the month (don't ask on THAT one....).

3.  I began to be critical on myself, as if I wasn't good enough.  I hated that feeling.  Why did I do that???  No clue where it came from.  I think it came from my childhood.

All of my feelings were self induced and had/has nothing to do with them (over this one issue....there are LOTS of other issues that CAN be validated). 

Here's where you have to be careful - do not allow your feelings to interfere with you.  I allowed them to interfere and my workouts suffered.  I did them, but not to the intensity I should/could have.  It became a chore.

Now, here's the funny thing.....they stopped working out, and mine picked up.  I am totally jazzed and renewed (partially because I took a surgery break).  But, I kept up with mine and they did not....my commitment has been there and stayed, while there's did not.

My point is this:  whatever feelings you may have....do NOT allow them to control you.