As my first holiday post WLS passes.... (long)
It warms my heart to know that I went into this holiday season with a new found strength and love for the holidays, one that I haven't ever experienced and wasn't sure I ever would.
Usually, during the holidays and special occasions where large amounts of buffet foods were available, I'd feel reluctant to eat. Always felt as though the people there would be scrutinizing me, questioning me, if I needed that much on my plate or wondering how many servings did that make for me. And then there was always the dreaded desserts. I was always worried that I'd give them more reason to see exactly why it was that I had ended up so huge, (in their minds). So I'd always get my plate, scarf down my food and retreat to the corner or back to my "room" in my own little world.
WELL NOT THIS YEAR!!!
Thanksgiving was not nearly as trying as I thought it would be. Of course, being my first holiday since my surgery and the first time I have been subject to so much food all at the same time, I was nervous and scared, (cuz as most of ya'll are aware, I do have that fear of food). Here I was, turkey, ham, sweet potatoes with brown sugar and marshmallow glazes, mashed potatoes, and soooooooo many desserts, sweets loaded with sugar as far as the eye could see. All of which were screaming at me. "Theresa, eat me, eat me as you have on so many other glorious holidays". Much to my surprise, walking by all the NO-NO foods and not as much as reaching for them, was so much easier than I had thought. I made sure to eat ALL my protein first, followed by a bite or 2 of a vegetable or 2 that I wanted and then, even though it is not a YES-YES of WLS, I even allowed myself to gave 1 nice bite of carrot cake, something that I used to love but for some reason, now, just is not the same. It did, however, allow me to fill my sugar wanting, whether it was head wanting or not! I was nothing more than impressed with myself and very proud.
But it wasn't just the food and my ability to be able to handle it. For the first time, in a LONG, LONG time, I was no longer ashamed to be around a large crowd of people. I did my hair and make up and for the first time in many, many years, I was wearing clothes that showed off the fact that I had lost so much weight instead of wearing clothes that hid all of me. This year, I wasn't the "fat girl" that shouldn't be eating. I felt like a member of the family and seemed to be more outgoing and into things that were going on. We visited 3 different houses Thanksgiving day, and with each new set of people, I knew that they knew that there was definitely something different and new about Theresa, and it wasn't just the 130 lbs that I have lost. It was that I had gained my new found confidence and pride.
That day has inspired me to start thinking of my next holiday gathering, Christmas. Soooo with my thoughts running in my head, I have started preparing. I have decided that I will be hosting our family Christmas lunch on Christmas Day. I will be the one doing all the cooking and preparing. Since moving back in with my parents when I became so sick, it's always been something that I have helped with but this year, it is all on me. And I am looking so forward to it. I can not believe that I am saying that I can not wait to have a large group of hungry, merry people in my home!
So for Thanksgiving this year, outside of being thankful for Cameron, my friends and family, I am SOOOO thankful for my health, (first time in a LONG time that I can say that), for my surgeon, Dr Bautista, and for my laproscopic RNY! It has given me so many more reasons to live!
Thank you so much for reading. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and Happy Holidays!
Hugs
Usually, during the holidays and special occasions where large amounts of buffet foods were available, I'd feel reluctant to eat. Always felt as though the people there would be scrutinizing me, questioning me, if I needed that much on my plate or wondering how many servings did that make for me. And then there was always the dreaded desserts. I was always worried that I'd give them more reason to see exactly why it was that I had ended up so huge, (in their minds). So I'd always get my plate, scarf down my food and retreat to the corner or back to my "room" in my own little world.
WELL NOT THIS YEAR!!!
Thanksgiving was not nearly as trying as I thought it would be. Of course, being my first holiday since my surgery and the first time I have been subject to so much food all at the same time, I was nervous and scared, (cuz as most of ya'll are aware, I do have that fear of food). Here I was, turkey, ham, sweet potatoes with brown sugar and marshmallow glazes, mashed potatoes, and soooooooo many desserts, sweets loaded with sugar as far as the eye could see. All of which were screaming at me. "Theresa, eat me, eat me as you have on so many other glorious holidays". Much to my surprise, walking by all the NO-NO foods and not as much as reaching for them, was so much easier than I had thought. I made sure to eat ALL my protein first, followed by a bite or 2 of a vegetable or 2 that I wanted and then, even though it is not a YES-YES of WLS, I even allowed myself to gave 1 nice bite of carrot cake, something that I used to love but for some reason, now, just is not the same. It did, however, allow me to fill my sugar wanting, whether it was head wanting or not! I was nothing more than impressed with myself and very proud.
But it wasn't just the food and my ability to be able to handle it. For the first time, in a LONG, LONG time, I was no longer ashamed to be around a large crowd of people. I did my hair and make up and for the first time in many, many years, I was wearing clothes that showed off the fact that I had lost so much weight instead of wearing clothes that hid all of me. This year, I wasn't the "fat girl" that shouldn't be eating. I felt like a member of the family and seemed to be more outgoing and into things that were going on. We visited 3 different houses Thanksgiving day, and with each new set of people, I knew that they knew that there was definitely something different and new about Theresa, and it wasn't just the 130 lbs that I have lost. It was that I had gained my new found confidence and pride.
That day has inspired me to start thinking of my next holiday gathering, Christmas. Soooo with my thoughts running in my head, I have started preparing. I have decided that I will be hosting our family Christmas lunch on Christmas Day. I will be the one doing all the cooking and preparing. Since moving back in with my parents when I became so sick, it's always been something that I have helped with but this year, it is all on me. And I am looking so forward to it. I can not believe that I am saying that I can not wait to have a large group of hungry, merry people in my home!
So for Thanksgiving this year, outside of being thankful for Cameron, my friends and family, I am SOOOO thankful for my health, (first time in a LONG time that I can say that), for my surgeon, Dr Bautista, and for my laproscopic RNY! It has given me so many more reasons to live!
Thank you so much for reading. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and Happy Holidays!
Hugs
Theresa Marie
Lap RNY - April 30, 2008
Open heart surgery (mitral valve repair & MAZE) - April 13, 2009
356/297.5/152.5/170/150 - consult/surgery morn/now/dr goal/my goal
Skinnyville is NO longer miles away... It's a mere walk to the corner!!
Facebook me @ Theresa Marie Lehman
Lap RNY - April 30, 2008
Open heart surgery (mitral valve repair & MAZE) - April 13, 2009
356/297.5/152.5/170/150 - consult/surgery morn/now/dr goal/my goal
Skinnyville is NO longer miles away... It's a mere walk to the corner!!
Facebook me @ Theresa Marie Lehman
Oh! You actually made me cry. I wish I had a good experience like that. Everyone WAS staring at my during my dinner. I took a couple small pieces of turkey and a small scoop of green beans. All eyes were on me. When I had to leave the table to get sick they all looked at each other and knew what was happening. Its not because they are judgmental, its because they are so damn scared that I am never going to get better. I worry about it too. I am trying so hard to stay positive.
I look forward to a wonderful wow that you had Theresa. I am so happy for you. You are such a beautiful woman. So you should be proud.
I look forward to a wonderful wow that you had Theresa. I am so happy for you. You are such a beautiful woman. So you should be proud.
Mom to Alex age 9
Wife to Sean married 5/29/99
And one bean on the way. EDD 6/22/11
Wife to Sean married 5/29/99
And one bean on the way. EDD 6/22/11
Hi Theresa,
Consider keeping this post and/or journaling your experience with your holiday on your profile or privately. Its wonderful to be able to go back and read your experiences in your journey. I'm glad you enjoyed Thanksgiving. With Christmas just a few weeks away I'm sure you will pull together a wonderful gathering and it will be enjoyed by all.
Consider keeping this post and/or journaling your experience with your holiday on your profile or privately. Its wonderful to be able to go back and read your experiences in your journey. I'm glad you enjoyed Thanksgiving. With Christmas just a few weeks away I'm sure you will pull together a wonderful gathering and it will be enjoyed by all.
Kitty Kat - Lap RNY 29th Jan 03 
Blessed Momma to ♥ Kayla & Nora ♥
Sober since 25th Aug 07 www.the-butterfly-chronicles.blogspot.com
Thankful for the easy, grateful for the hard & hopeful for tomorrow.
PM headed your way... 
Glad you had such a wonderful Thanksgiving. You def. need to journal this! I am a firm believer that if you have that sweet tooth then you should have a bite. Just stop at the one bite! If I have a craving for something then I am not happy until I get it. One bite satisfies me! I am sure you will do great with Christmas dinner. Have fun!
Tammy C
down 260+ pounds and loving life more than ever!!!
proud mom to Kara 12-08-1994 and our newest addition Claire Makenna born 03-26-09 weighing 6 lbs 13 ounces and 19.25 inches long and very healthy. happily dating...i honestly never knew it could be this good! there is that special Guy for everyone out there...either you already have him or you will find him when He is ready for it!
open RNY 04-25-2005
Life could not get any better than this!
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