I got the worst possible news today

Oh sweet Ann!  I am posting this on here in case others may find a need for it as well.  This is the standard we use in our area as medics. 

It is seven stages of grief:

Here is the grief model called "The 7 Stages of Grief":
 

7 Stages of Grief...

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.

2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.

You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.

You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")

4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.

During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.

7 Stages of Grief...

5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.

6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.

7 stages of grief...

You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living.



I do hope this helps you in some way and I am here for anything!

Tam you are right about all of these and I know that we will all need these one of these days. I know that I will for sure. Thank you for writing them down.

Your welcome.  I chose to post them here instead of sending them in a PM so that others could possibley benefit from them as well.  It is easy to sit here and tell you them when I am not in the need of using them.  Ann can hopefully use them to get thru in the best means possible.

Girl take it easy and we will be right here for you and like I said before I LOVE YOU if you need to talk you have my number and email. If you want someone to fuss at call me and yell all you want I will listen.

Ann, I'm so sorry to hear your incredibly sad news - Your entire family is in my thoughts and prayers

Ann

I am so sorry to hear this.  I'm sending healing positive energy your way for your sister and your family.  Stay strong and make wonderful new memories to add to your 50 years of wonderful memories already past.  This is the time for you all to come together and shower her (and yourself!) with love.  I LOVE YOU and WILL PRAY FOR YOU!

Lauren

Ann Im so sorry to come on and see this today, prayers going out for your sister and you during this time. Like other have said spend and treasure the time and memories you have left with Cyndi and make all the new memories you can go to her if you can and spend what time you can and  do the things you guys like and enjoy. May God be with you and her and the family during all this and help guide you all through the trying times. Sending lots of hugs. 

I am so sorry to hear about your sister. It is never easy to lose the ones you love. You are in my prayers and thoughts.

Hugs to ya, Gwen

I am so sorry Ann. May God be with you and your sister and hold you close.
Joe & Amy

Ok, so it's now 9 pm & I seem to be in an emotional lull for the moment.  Maybe there's something to be said for sleep deprivation...dulls the senses.  I FORCED myself to cook dinner.  That kept my mind occupied.

I did some shopping for Cyndi today.  Found some pretties at Cracker Barrel & some nice stuff at Walmart.  One thing I bought I'm actually excited about.  I got her one of those digital picture frames & an 8 gb memory chip.  I'm going to put evey single picture I can find of all of us & put them all into a slide show complete with music.

Tammy, thank you for posting the 7 stages of grief.  I knew I was on the right track, but my brain was mush at the time when I was trying to remember.  After reading through them, I'd say I'm going through at least 5 of them all at the same time!  But you were right to post them openly.  So many of us are going through similar stuff or will, sad to say.

So tomorrow I'm sending Cyndi her 3 boxes of goodies along with another 5-box shipment to my sons far away.  Last batch had 16 rolls of Charmin.  I put a note in one of the boxes that said "Cushie for your tushie"  that ought to get them a laugh.  Also sent candy, snack cakes, dry cereal, cartons of milk, trail mix, beef stix & a whole bunch of other stuff like tooth brushes, tooth paste, floss, hand santizers.  Not sure what's in this next batch...I need to make out the claim forms.  I guess I should keep a running list of what I purchase or get from donations.  But I'm happy to report that all but 4 boxes have been sponsored.

Ok, I'm off to make Cyndi's slide show.  I love you all so much for pulling me & mine into your loving embraces...it means the world to me & thank you just doesn't express my feelings enough.  Till tomorrow...