I Survived Atlanta !!!

Hey Tammy,

Thanks so much. Thanks for sharing this about your cousin. I too am letting everyone know that there IS help available even when it seems like things are dire. I am here anytime as well. That's what has been incredibly important in my getting sober is the support and love I've been receiving and continue to receive from many folks. I have some things in the works and hope to be reaching many folks in the days and weeks and so on to come. You are RIGHT together we can fight addiction and come through things better and stronger.

Hugs...

You know - as someone who sees addiction tranfer ( pain medication, alcohol, food, spending etc ) as a growing concern, I think it is our DUTY to give support to anyone who needs it and try to get them to accept some kind of support system while they try to seek help. If they are ashamed to admit they need help, only a loving, trusted support system may make them feel it is time to do something about it. After all, who wants to admit their own vulnerabilities when they do not feel their area is safe, non judgemental and secure....

I have recently been coaching someone who has a lot of insecurities and has some addictions she is facing. I have tried to get her to a support group but she is not ready for that yet. I have been able to get her to come and read the boards here - she is not ready to join us yet but she does know that when she is ready , she can and will be welcomed. She says this board is very warm to people - she just can't face it yet. She will not go to therapy yet either although she really does need to do that. But she knows all of that and more. She is coming along slowly and we are all helping her even though we don't know it. I have her permission to write this as she saw Nat's note and Kat's and sent me an email saying Kat is right on the money - She needs support, she knows what issues she has - she even knows the first steps to taking care of them - she just hasn't crossed that road yet to get to the other side. But that everyone is here and listening is a blessing for people like her....

She does indeed suffer from low esteem too and sometimes I am sure that is what is holding her back from going out there and just admitting what help she needs.  She is so afraid to say the words - took me quite a few session before she admitted all the things to me she needs help with.

So all of you reading this - please understand how much your support can mean to someone who is having a real hard time with things and has some addictions and other issues that they may not even state but be battling with. Be careful of your words when you talk about addictions etc because you may wound someone close to you that you do not even realise is suffering or needs support.  Bottom line is - we were all food addicits of one sort of another - how easy it is to transfer that addiction to something that equally makes you feel good.

Sorry for this being so long but it is an area I am beginning to feel very strongly about as I have seen people I love fall into it.....

Jackie

I am just so sad Jackie of how many people I see going through this now .It is becoming an epidemic among our community. I wish there were more I could do . I want to pull them in and just hold them all and tell them it will be alright , but that is not enough.

I am also so mad at our preparation for this surgery and the life that we get afterwards that deems the transfer addiction and the anxiety . Some have it easy , and do not go through any of this . But for the most part , those that fall victim to it are either to ashamed to ask for help , or do not see the signs.

I hope that when reaching out to those that need us , that they listen and that they feel our love and concern.

Thanks Jackie for your post .

Natalie

Hey Jackie,

It IS our duty to support ANYONE who needs it. I fully agree. The gal your mentoring WILL reach her point where she draws a line in the sand but it takes time to get there. Confidence in ourselves to ask for help comes from within. Again, it takes time. ONE careless word or message or what have you can break that confidence down for someone who could be on the edge. I hope that folks keep remembering that there are options, choices, help and support. We're here. Please reach out.

Hugs....

Well stated Kat. People need an environment to ask for help where they will not be judged. Its great to have people who can keep confidential info that way. Also people that are not one way in some places and on the flip side another person.
As obese people, I know for me as well as from others that the low self esteem carries over from preop days. Our brains take a while to catch up with our bodies, we had stomach surgery, not brain surgery.
Counseling helps some with issues I had in the past that had alot to do with turning to food. Its so easy to transfer that to travel, shopping, substance abuse, gambling, sex, the list goes on and on. If it werent for judging I feel many people would open up more. Its also important, to me anyway, that support come from people who acknowledge there own issues. A listening ear is great but relating to  personal experience is even better. If I am not facing my own demons it would be harder to help someone reaching out and trying to.
It was not addressed preop by my surgeons office either. I dont attend the support groups there due to distance so I cant say it isnt now. I did read online during my preop research.
Alot were upset about it being addressed on TV shows and other media a while back but now I see it coming up more and more, and people trying to seek help for it.
Hope there will be more info out there for those to come after us. I also hope this doesnt scare people into not going this route and the other health issues piling up on them.
I know for me I never expected the health issues I have had after losing all this weight. Goes to show lose weight is not the only answer when we try to get issues addressed by a dr. I have seen it happen to me as well as many others. I am grateful I had wls before it progressed anymore, but it also would have been great to have had some treatment before hand. Just goes to show that many in healthcare system could use more knowledge in helping obese people.

Thanks. I agreed with your post completely. I've definitely seen the behaviors you've mentioned and they too are a form of issues that need to be addressed. Hope yours words too are embraced by others.

Love ya.

Shannon,
Thanks for sharing your personal experiences.  Although I have not had these problems myseld I have been around family and many, many friends and I can empathize.  It is nice to see you were proactive BEFORE you had surgery and that your research showed you this was a possibility.  Hope you are doing better and I hope you are feeling 100% very soon.

Hugs,
Tammy

In responce to your post.
I say this so many times I wish that they would do more talking about this pre op and so many other issue too.
I know of so many thing my surgeon never told me too.
maybe if we push and push they will talk about these things more pre-op but then again many be not cause I feel so many of these doctors are only in this for the money.



Holly

Hey there beautiful , good to see you .
I so agree . I wish that our surgeons would take a stand and give us the mental tools we need to get through this . I hope that my letter and meeting with Hutcher can start something with in my surgeons group.
If if does not , I guess we are going to have to rely on one another for support and encouragment and to be able to be there for others when no one else will .

Hope things are good for you , miss seeing you .

Tink

Tink,
Commonwealth's office does address this preop.  It was addressed with me on serveral occassions before I had surgery and most importantly it was addressed in my psych eval.  I do not know if they do this any longer or not but I know with me it was talked about at least 5 or 6 times.
Tammy