Does this make me selfish???

Ok...so I have just finished reading the article referenced in the Augustissue of Self magazine (thanks Mary for saving me from buying it!!) and since I was not very bad on the comorbidities...am I a selfish jerk for having the procedure?  I had sleep apnea and high blood pressure.  I was/am at risk for diabetes..both maternal and paternal grandmothers had it, mother has it and father is borderline.  I wanted to be smaller, to live longer, to be able to play with my daughter, go places, have energy and most importantly...to be healthier and hopefully live longer to be around for my daughter.  I knew the risks before I had surgery.  I chose my surgeon based on his reputation, length of service in the barriat

If you're selfish, then I'm worse. I didn't have a single co-morbidity. Not one. Of course, my BMI was over 50 (down to 48 by surgery time) so I knew it was just a matter of time. There are so many things I've missed out on being fat that I wanted to do! So I looked at it as a preventative measure - I was in good health and fairly active, but you just can't be that big and not have major health problems at some point. My PCP back in Charlottesville didn't even want me to do it. And I had to take money from my parents b/c my insurance wouldn't pay for it.

So, no, I don't think it makes you selfi****hink it makes you smart and strong for tackling this life-long change.

No, you are definitely not a selfish jerk for having the surgery. In an extreme "for instance", if there were just a few bariatric surgeons in this country and just a few hospitals that could make room for patients, and, because of that, there were national lotteries to determine which lucky few people could have WLS, and, if you really did not need the surgery but won the lottery and did not give your slot to a "more deserving" person ..., then, perhaps, it might be possible to make an argument that perhaps someone else needed WLS more than you did.

However, as evidenced by the advertisements on this web site, doctors and hospitals are lining up to entice you to help fill their surgery schedules and their hospital rooms. You did not take someone else's slot - you purchased a service that you, as a responsible adult, determined that you needed for your quality of life.

Don't for a second be concerned that you were a selfish jerk.

You're KIDDING me right? I personally read the article a few times over & I take issue with several of the things written in it but everyone is entitled to their thoughts, ideas and opinions. That being said, I do not believe you were a "selfish jerk" for having surgery. Family history are key indicators of the lives we might very well find ourselves leading and I personally only struggled with Thyroid issues. However, in my family there is diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea and more. I have watched it take over the lives of those I love dearly and I refused to be sitting on that side of the fence KNOWING I could do something to help myself and give myself not only a better quality of life but to be an example for those who have lost hope.

I watched both my parents parents suffer with diseases and ultimately pass from them. Granted Mom's Dad is hanging on (by a string literally) the rest have all since passed to their co-mobidities and related complications. I am now watching Mom struggle with bp and diabetes issues and last year dealt with thyroid issues. As for dad he's had WLS and not dealt with the co-morbidities his folks and other family members had however, he's struggling with alcohol addiction which sucks if not worse than those issues.

I was NOT going out like that or should I say I'm NOT going out like that. Its not about the number on the scale anymore. Its about getting my life back, meeting and exceeding my goals for myself, being able to play with the buggas when ever and where ever I want, its being able to get check ups and hear things like "you're doing a great job Kat" and "you've really cut down your risks for this and that" and so much more. Its about the realization that I did something for myself so that I can be around to enjoy life a lot healthier and happier than to be popping pills and shooting insulin and such. I know I'm blessed and I know that folks struggle with much and I fully believe if I hadn't had WLS I would be in dire health and quite possibly not here today.

I knew the risks before surgery. I chose my surgeon after more than a year plus of research (longer on the surgery itself). As with ANYTHING in life there are risks, there are setbacks and triumphs and many, many opinions, thoughts and ideas but ultimately it is our choice as to which direction our lives take. Its interesting how the guilt trip gets laid through the media and other outlets. Its even more interesting and disturbing that those same outlets are the dessiminators of information that we can truly use its just deciphering the bs to get to the meat and potatoes.

The risks lessen with WLS and that's become more and more obvious (for co-morbidities such as diabetes, bp etc) however, it doesn't eliminate them. Folks need to arm themselves with knowledge and understanding and facts as best as they can. So you my dear are FAR from being a jerk. Never forget everything happens for a reason.

Yep, just like me.  Unselfishly selfish!!!  I had the same comorbids as you but I did have diabtis, very easily controlled.  But your reason are the same as mine.  Myself and my family. 

Not selfish at all.  We all have had this WLS for very personal reasons -- and no one should judge...period! My guess is that not one of us wanted to be in the position to have to consider the WLS surgery, but we were and we did -- no shame in that.  Also, this surely is not a selfish decision...if anything, a very "unselfish" decision considering the positive effects on family and friends!  :)

I read the article also and could tell it was written by a writer that has never had a serious weight issue. No-one went into this surgery thinking it was a walk in the park. We all went into it because of issues - in my case high blood pressure, diabetes and plain overweight - it was not helping my quality of life at all - what quality of life? Too overweight to do the things I needed to do for my family and for myself. Since surgery there is a huge difference. So if that is selfish - well pardon me for being so selfish to want all the things that normal weight people take for granted. And for going to extremes to obtain it. Let's face it - it is a life altering decision to have the surgery and live the life.  Take supplements to live a decent life for the rest of our lives and watch what we eat forever?? Not a quick or first choice for any of us! So I do not think anyone is selfish at all for having the surgery whether it was paid for by insurance or self pay. We earned the right to be "normal". In my case to no longer have diabetes! I have no regrets - being overweight with health issues runs in my family so I wanted a chance to break the chain.

So if that makes me selfish - who cares? I wanted a life and we are entitled to that. So no Tammy - I do not think for one second you are a selfish jerk!!  And you shouldn't either :-)

Jackie

My Gosh,
  There is nothing selfish about wanting to be healthy.  I think we all have personal goals aside from the health benefits.  I personally am looking forward to buying a new officers uniform next year for the Civil War reenacting I do.  My uncle had the surgery about 10 years ago and he has never regretted a day since.  He was told that there was a great risk of dying from complications of WLS, but look at what he had to look forward to by not choosing to go through with it.  He weighed 500 lbs. and was close to a massive heart attack.  He's been my inspiration to get the surgery.  I'm having my consult tomorrow.  Don't ever second guess a good thing.  Much love to you all. 

Here's one question someone asked me right before I made the decision to have WLS. Before that, I was dead set against it, believing it was the easy way out and that somehow I was gluttonous, weak and flawed for having gotten myself to the point of having to consider it. Like ity or not, obesity is the last acceptable prejudice in our society, largely because this issue is very visible whereas alcoholism and drug use are not always so visible. Here's the question: if a treatment was developed that virtually cured alcoholism, or at least mitigated a lot of the results of it, wouldn't you want that alcoholic to have it? Most people would answer with an unequivocal yes, regardless of that being like a magic pill or the "easy way out". So why is it any different for those of use whose "drug" of choice is food? Is it because we don't need alcohol or drugs to live, but we need food to live so it's harder to give up and requires more of an effort? Once I was asked that question, my whole perspective changed. Of course I'd want someone to have the easiest, most effective treatment for whatever issue was ailing them. Thank God for these surgeries that allow us to live the lives we all deserve to live, and thank God for the ability we all had to recognize that we had a problem and to do something about it.

Oh Tammy, Tammy, Tammy.  Thank goodness you have chosen to surround yourself with educated, loving, caring people.  I'm glad I read everyone's responses first before I jumped on my soap box, because I don't think there's too much more to be said about this issue.  I have not read the article, but judging by the responses here, I would guess that it was highly inappropriate.  I guess what I am most concerned with is why you would jump so quickly to doubting yourself?  Do you not embrace, recognize, & accept that the decision you made was the right decision for you & your cir****tances?  Where is it written that we must all be near death in order to improve our quality of life?  Do you not continue to work hard at using your tool to its fullest advantages like the rest of us that maybe DID have comorbidities?  I mean come on, girl...why would you be any less deserving?  Frankly I'm more concerned about your sense of self worth.  You've conquered the obesity part, now maybe is a good time to work on the head stuff so that you don't buy into the bs so quickly.  Time to go stand before the mirror & have a heart-to-heart with that lady that looks back at you.  Apparently she needs to reassuring & that reassuring needs to come from YOU more than anyone else.  Hold that head up high & dare to be proud of what you've accomplished.  Selfish?  Are you kidding???

I love you!