I need help...

I was wondering if anyone would like to be my email pal and maybe a phone pal...I am having a hard time with this six month diet and need someone to hold me accountable. I have a husband that is very supportive, but its sooooooo easy to lie to him since we work different schedules. I have wonderful parents...but again I don't want to hurt them so I lie to them about what I eat and what I may exercise lol. Sounds silly as I am typing it, but I don't have any friends in the real world so wanted to see if anyone could help me on here?? Thanks for your time

Hi Karen I would be glad to be your email pal. I too am doing my 6 month. I lost 4 lbs and gained 3 back when I stopped Wellbutrin and got very depressed. Now I feel fine and am doing my best to keep on track. Jen

It is good to lose some weight on the six month medically supervised diet and exercise program that is a ususal insurance prerequisite,...but it is to show you are trying and unable to be exceptionally successful on your own, that is why you need the WLS. Lose too much and insurance will deny your need. Just a thought. But on the other hand, if your don't try and lose some, it shows you can't follow a program and probably won't after surgery either so why approve you to have it. Interesting situation,... isn't it? You also want your PCP/Prefered Physician in your corner and not ticked off at you or your efforts. You really need to be honest with yourself about why you are doing this. Fudging/cheating and lying about your efforts to others doesn't help you and your health or quality of life. And until you get serious about that, the WLS isn't going to be successful either. You still have to eat according to a program after surgery or you will have many miserabele days of barfing and pain and woe the day you did this to yourself. On the other hand, if you follow the instructions, you will have some bad days but overall, you will successfully lose a lot of weight, relearn how to eat, allow your digestive tract to relearn how to digest food, regain past beauty and health, and feel wonderful about yourself. Is it worth it, and will you committ to play by the rules to make that a reality?? This is serious life changing thing you are considering. I am not trying to sound harsh but sobering. Hope it helps. I wish you al the success in the world and know you will be grateful if you get approved and go through with WLS. It can be a wonderful thing or your worst nightmare. Just make sure your are ready mentally before you do it. Joe

Karen , I would be glad to help motivate you .. tis what I do ... email me at [email protected] I have tons of literature .. and am just a phone call away .. I have several friends here that have had to do the 6 month diet .. and they did it ... Hang in there .. you can do it too ! Natalie

Karen, I don't have to do the six month thing, I'm getting my surgery on February 9. Since I have been so successful at losing this weight 20 times, and if you are anything like me, you have been sucessful at losing it, just not keeping it off, I don't have any room to judge anyone here. That said, I will tell you my experience with lying to myself. Like, what was I thinking that my family doesn't see it when I lie? I think they can't tell I cheated, because most of the time, the reason why I rationalized that my family, my son, my husband, my colleagues and everyone else couldn't possible know I was cheating is because I refuse to really accept that I was really cheating. I refused to look at myself in the mirror somehow hoping that I was invisible. I still have a hard time looking the mirror. looking in the mirror requires you to be accountable. barring some superficial water weight gain, the reason why I gained weight is because I was eating things that are calorie dense or was not exercising enough to keep the weight off when I did consume a calorie dense food. That month after month of not losing weight shoulda been the quarter for the clue machine, HELLO, I am cheating. The reason why I get away with denial is because the people who love me don't want to hurt my feelings or judge me or treat me meanly. They go along with it to spare me. Pointing out something that is blarringly obvious is uncomfortable. Of course, we are our own best bullies aren't we? Where is that fine line between beating up on yourself and not being accountable to ourself? I've been lying to myself for all these years and out of misguided kindness no one has ever called me on it. No one ever said "Jacquie, if you stayed on your diet why haven't you lost weight?" I never held myself to account. Accountability. So OK here goes... This morning I had 1 cup or more of fried hash brown potatoes, two small slices of ham, 2 fried eggs over easy, and 1/2 of a Pillsbury Cinnamon roll my son made and insisted I taste. I ate half of it. I cheered my ability to walk away at half because it was good. Later, I didn't have time for lunch and I downed one Dunkin Donuts Cruller. I went to Borders in the afternoon after my Cruller before going to see "Dreamgirls" at the movies today, and had a vanilla latte and a granola type bar thingey rationalizing I had not had lunch. I was not hungry for pop corn or candy and didn't get any. I came home and had two baked chicken drum sticks, 1 cup boiled green beans and potatoes a serving of stove top stuffing and 3 pieces of homemade fudge left over from x-mas that I let my son convince me not to pitch, for desert. I take full responsibility for everything I put in my mouth. I did what I did. When I got home from the movies I let everyone know what I did and that I was still hungry enough to eat dinner. I can't lie about this anymore. The proof is in the size of my rear end. I want it to be different this time. I want to stop hiding and not lying to myself and not stop insulting the intelligence of everyone around me. So I over ate today, and that makes me overfed, it is not a commentary about my character. If I'm going to continue to deny my accountability in making me this fat, then it doesn't matter what I do I will fail again. I hope that with love and acceptance I can stop my own denial. I hope that this disease has gotten so painful for me that I can no longer take the pyschological pain of being this big, hating myself, denying my actions, and doing the same things I have always done and expecting different results. Once you own it, you can forgive yourself and move on. The first step in accountibility is getting it down so you can prove to yourself what you ate. I have one of those hokie tape recorders on my key chain to record everything that goes in my mouth, the good, the really good and the really bad. Maybe the tape recorder thing might help you. The folks here can be supportive, and give you a gentle kick in the pants when you go off course when they are asked. However, it helps me to be scrupulously honest with myself and everyone at all times because denial is a comfy cosy place to be while I eat what I shouldn't and rationalize all that so I can live with myself the next day. I hope this surgery gives me the tools to prevent eating over sized amounts of food and helps me control my disease and I will continue to be honest with myself. I know I am rambling but maybe something might hit home.