Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians (RMAP) Patients

Random Blogging

  Have you ever been the first one you know to start listening to a band and then have someone you don't really like get into them and it kind of ruins it a bit? Yes, I'm being a little vague but that just happened to me with The Veronicas. I've been listening to them FOREVER but recently the luster was taken off just a little. Oh well, it couldn't last forever.

Anyway, I'm getting ready to head out to Chicago again; however, I wanted to leave you a little bit of advice. As you know (by my previous post), I went above my scary weight (all the way to 231 lbs). However, when I weighed this morning, I was at 227.8 lbs. Wow, right?! How did it happen? It's all about the water. I started drinking a ton of water and released all the water I was retaining. Now if I can just hold on through this next trip.

Faithy-Bears birthday is on Monday and I'll be in Chicago. It's a little sad but I don't have her on her birthday this year anyway. I do, however, get to celebrate her birthday tomorrow (Sunday). I have her most of the day. We'll go hang out at the movies and do a family dinner. It's probably going to be sucky weather or else we'd probably go out for a bike ride too. She's such an amazing girl -- a fact I tell her all the time. She's brilliant, beautiful, and so funny. You might think that I'm a little bias (and perhaps I am) but these three facts are repeated by anyone who meets her.

Anyway everyone, I'll try to blog while I'm in Chicago (I'm out to take a picture of the front of Wrigley this time and hopefully make it to the art museum). Take care and keep working hard. Remember that the journey is a lifetime so don't beat yourself up over a mistake here and there, just try hard to do better the next time. And if you get too down, listen to the song "Move, Shake, Drop." It always pumps me up.

Sean

YOWZA!!

  I was scrolling down on my blog (www.seanstransformation.blogspot.com) and happened to look on the right side at my pictures. WOW!!! It's amazing to think how large I was not overly long ago. I owe everything to Dr. Smith for performing my surgery and the person who invented Roux-en Y. I'll say it again... WOW!!! A brand new life. The life I always wanted. I just wi**** could have come 20 years before it did. Oh well, I will enjoy it now for the rest of my life.

How people look at me differently
The choices in life that are now available to me
The things I always wanted to do that I can do now
Etc., etc., etc.

So amazing. I would love to hear from all of you. How blown is your mind with what is or has happened to you because of WLS?

Good luck in getting any responses.  The people in Utah are all dead but you and I.... if you haven't noticed.  I wanted to post a before and now pic of myself but cant seem to figure out how to do it.  And I don't have that picture program where you have all your pictures on here and pull them off that to put on here.  I thought you could just copy and paste, but you can't.  Do you know how to do it?

Julia.
I don't actually know how to get your pictures in.  Let me know if you figure it out.  And yeah, I'm surprised the Utah people aren't responding.  But I'm pretty sure they are reading because of the views this forum is receiving.  I'm hopeful they'll respond eventually and prove there are others out there who aren't dead.  I'm glad that you're not though!
Sean

See this post and many others at www.seanstransformation.blogspot.com

After 24 Months

  I'm finding it more difficult to eat right and keep my portion sizes where they need to be now that I'm two years away from surgery. Yes, this is scary. I can see how easy it would be to let my guard down and regain the weight. I don't think it would be possible to gain all my weight back but I can see how easy it would be to gain back a lot of it.

Calories mount so quickly and easily during the day. Before when I couldn't eat a lot and not a lot settled well in my stomach so it was easy. But that has passed and now it's having conscious thought of everything I eat that is required.

I bring this up for those of you on the journey right now. Those first 18-24 months are where you set your behavior. Where you learn how to eat right. Where you learn to become conscious of the calories (and nutritional value) of the food you eat every day. It's where you learn how to drink enough water and to exercise. If you learn those lessons, they will serve you well when you get to where you're eating like a normal person again (and you will get there).

Case in point: When I was in Chicago, I went out to a business dinner. I ordered off the menu (a chicken curry dish) and ate a little more than half. Afterwards we were talking and the topic of weight loss came up. When they found out how much weight I lost, they were amazed. The one comment that stands out in my mind is when one of my colleagues said he couldn't tell I was on a diet or eating differently from how I ate. At first that scared me but then I realized that's what this is all about. Recovery from the surgery is when you lose your weight and learn how to correctly eat. After your complete recovery, then you have control to eat like all those skinny people you have known for your entire life.

So learn what you need to for your first 24 months. Don't waste it and don't make excuses. What you learn there will mostly determine the long term success of your weight loss. And remember that it will not always be so easy. There will come a time when you will have to monitor your weight closely and adjust your caloric intake and exercise level when needed if you start going up. It will be a lifetime fight but one you can easily continue to win. You can't allow emotions to control your eating habits anymore. You have to decide to be in control and to always remain vigilant... no matter what.

Stress Eating

  Okay, today was a stress day and with sugar around EVERYWHERE at work, I found myself grazing way too much. So here is where my biggest battle is. Learning how to not graze when I'm stressed to the max at work. Let me know how you're dealing with this battle. I want to hear from you.

The good news is that I am able to leave the stress behind once I leave work. Tonight I'm spending the first of 10 nights in a row with my daughter. Got to love spring break. So I'll leave you now so we can get back to our music appreciation night. YAY iTUNES!!!

Quick Update

  I so haven't been very good at my blog and I apologize. This will be a different entry but I hope you'll find it interesting nonetheless.

Crazy People
Yes, I'm talking about my ex-spouse. Have you ever met a person who is such a control freak that they don't care if they hurt their child, don't care if they say something negative about the child's other parent, that they have to argue/give you the silent treatment/say no to everything??

As an example: Last weekend my daughter and I discovered that her phone suddenly had texting capabilities. Her phone is on her mother's Verizon account. We had fun sending texts to each other throughout the weekend and on Monday when she was at her mom's house. However, her mom found out about it (heard my daughter's phone beeping as a reminder there was a text waiting) and on Tuesday she turned it off. When my daughter asked her why, she told her that I get crazy with texting, calling and leaving voicemails so she won't give her texting or voicemail capabilities. Really?

Another example: Last September this same woman took me to court under the pretense of a protective order. Her assertion? I had left her voicemails and sent her text and email messages (less than 10 over 4 months) when she had asked me not too. That sounds reasonable, right? Until you realize that all the voicemails and messages related to our daughter and contained nothing inappropriate. When her attorney finally realized that her client was nuts, she asked the judge to dismiss the case -- which he did. Amazing how quiet things have been since this woman realized how foolish she came across.

Now you may ask why I bring that up. I bring it up for one reason. There is no need for me to settle for such a person ever again. When I met her, I was 375 lbs. I knew she was nuts. There were red flags all over the place. But I talked myself into allowing a relationship with her because I thought that perhaps I would never be able to do better. Years later, now at 225 lbs, I know better. I've dated better over the past year.

It's not that she isn't good for my daughter. I don't overly worry about my daughter when she's at her mother's house but I also know she's not getting opportunities because her mother is so focused on herself and is unwilling to work with me as parents to provide the best opportunities for my daughter. Hell, I had to fight for three years to even give my daughter a Saturday morning dance class.

If you are on the journey, it will change you. You will become more confident and gain more self-esteem than you ever realized. You will stop getting into (or even wanting) relationships with women (or men) with baggage. Where I am right now, I would never settle for my ex-spouse. I mean really. My daughter loves her and she is sweet with my daughter but she doesn't know how to be a partner and that's why all her other attempts at relationships since our separation have ultimately failed.

So remember, with this journey you can reach for the stars and it's no longer an impossibility. This is why I told myself I wasn't going to date until after my journey was over. And it almost is. The weight loss part is over. Now for the plastic surgery. I'm excited about it. Of course I did break my rule and I did date. Several times over the past year. For the most part those connections were good but I'm not yet where I desire to be and I have yet to meet the type of woman I'm looking for. One thing I know for sure though... NO MORE NUT JOBS!!!

Make the same commitment to yourself. Keep drama and those who bring it far away from yourself. Good luck on your journey and I hope all your dreams come true on the other side.

Sean

Stress/Eating/Weight Gain

  Argh~ So today I weighed in at 232 lbs. Crap. Two lbs over my scary weight and 7 lbs over my goal (which I have reached several times before). The villian? Stress. Work is wiping me out and the fact that there is candy EVERYWHERE at work is driving me nuts. I'm finding that my self-control isn't what it's cracked up to be. Of course, if I had control over my eating, I wouldn't have needed the surgery.

So....... I'm recommitting myself again. A drive to get under 230lbs before my plastic surgery that is coming up on the 23rd. I'm excited about it. To get the excess skin taken off but also because it'll be a welcome break from work -- one I wouldn't have taken if not for the surgery (I'm too committed).

Oh, and another source of stress. The ex who will just not go away. I emailed her on March 31st (23 days prior to my surgery) and told her that I could not take my daughter Faith on Thursday, April 23rd. I asked her to let me know if she could take her. Our decree states that email requests like that are supposed to be responded to within 72 hours. Last time I looked, 72 hours was 3 days. How long did it take her to respond? An extra email, two texts, a voicemail and 15 days. Unbelievable. And then she doesn't tell me she can't take Faith no. My email said I can't take Faith, let me know if you have problems taking her and I'd like to take her on the 21st instead. The response was "I can't accommodate your request." In the past that's saying no to the 21st. Kind of vague, don't you think?

Anyway, so I responded back to her and THEN she replies (we're 16 days past my initial request now) and tells me that it's my parent-time day so I'm responsible for figuring out Faith's care and she can't take her. Nice. Way to give me some warning.

On top of that, she wrote me to tell me that she is going to put Faith in summer camp and starts telling me about where she's going to put her. Okay. But she doesn't go to school and she doesn't work so while once she makes a decision it would be relevant to know where Faith is going to be, her ramblings don't matter because only work and school related care is split between us. So I tell her that I'm going to need summer work related care (because I work, right?) and that if she wants to "discuss" that, I'm willing but otherwise I'll put Faith where I want and then we'll split the costs (as outlined in our decree).

You'd think that would be easy but no. She's on a fixed income. Give me a break. Anyone with a brain can extrapolate an estimate on how much money she's bringing in for being on social security disability, supplemental income for her and Faith, as well as child support (all non-taxable). Under her definition of "fixed income," I'm on a fixed income as well. She makes as much as many people who work and just sits home all day or whatever she does.

Anyway, this payment issue for summer work/school related daycare is an annual fight. I bring it up here because it goes to show that we are affected by emotion. Stress, boredom, loneliness, etc. It affects us all. Be aware of your emotions and pay really close attention to the amount of water you're getting and what you eat during these periods of time. I have no doubt I'll be back under 230lbs by 4/23/09 but only because I know exactly what to do and have the ability to deal with the stress that's going on right now. I have to give kudos to my support system. Without them, dealing with the stress wouldn't be as easy.

Take care.
Sean

A Simple Text Message

  In this case, I was distracted so much by the following issue that it actually helped me not experience any cravings. Yay! But I still thought you'd get a kick out of what happened.

I left the following text message to Meggan (daughter's mother) at 10:14pm tonight:

"Meggan can we talk briefly about the summer schedule?"

I left it because I sent her my summer calendar showing the four weeks (2 uninterrupted) that I wanted for Faith and I this summer. Meggan sent hers back tonight giving me the two uninterrupted vacation weeks she wants but she also reworked mine -- basically saying "this is all I'm giving you." I thought I'd be nice and see if we could just talk briefly and figure things out. But of course not. So I had to rework the entire calendar (which took me forever) and send a revision over to her. *sigh* She makes things sooo difficult. Start at the bottom and work your way up.

lol. I have to get to bed now so I don't die of sleep deprivation tomorrow.
Sean

__________________________________________________
------- Forwarded Message ----
From: Sean Joyce
To: Meggan
Sent: Monday, April 20, 2009 12:26:09 AM
Subject: Re: Your Text Message

Meggan~It was my intention to discuss with you briefly why, when you outlined the summer vacation weeks you wanted to take, you decided to change the summer vacation weeks I wanted and changed them. Rather than go down the path that we always seem to go down, I thought I would see if there was a middle ground. It was worth a try. I apologize for missing your 10pm deadline (which I didn't know about) by 14 minutes. I actually thought it was earlier.

Please keep in mind that you texted me not overly long ago about Faith not being able to have a sleepover with Nyla and wanting to know if I could set one up for her on a future weekend when Faith was with me. According to your definition below, that doesn't constitute an emergency either. It doesn't state anywhere in our decree that all communication about Faith has to be through email except for emergencies. However, our decree does specifically states that any request for a parent-time change will be responded to within 72 hours yet you recently waited until 4/14/09 to respond to a parent-time change request that was sent on 3/31/09 and, as subsequent emails demonstrated, your response was vague at best. This caused undue stress and a barrage of unnecessary emails. Your lack of communication regarding parental issues and parent-time change requests has become way too commonplace and in some cases you don't respond at all to emails that require responses. If you can't communicate through email then we're going to need to involve other avenues. If however, you provide timely responses to emails concerning Faith, I have no problem with communication occurring, for the most part, through email. The most important thing here is that communication regarding Faith happens.

Sean

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Meggan
To: Sean Joyce
Sent: Sunday, April 19, 2009 10:32:08 PM
Subject: Your Text Message

Sean:You are not to be texting or calling me. All communication is to go through email. You know this. I'll consider an emergency to also include when Faith's dance bag is missing and needed with 24hrs, or homework, in the same situation. Other then a true emergency, you should not be texting me.

As well, I really don't appreciate it happening after 10pm. Not ok. If there is something you want to discuss about the calender it needs to happen here.

Thanks!
Meggan

How Did I Eat So Much

  So today at lunch I went to Legers to get a sandwich. I bought a half roll with turkey and cheese (just light mayo) and a little lettuce. I took it back to the office and at the turkey and cheese. After that I was on the phone and I started eating a little of the roll (kind of absentmindedly). Before I knew it, I had eaten the entire half roll.

To say I'm shocked doesn't even begin to describe it. How did that entire thing fit inside my little pouch? guess it's not so little anymore. Scary, scary!!!

But it goes to show how easy it is to get off track and to go back to the old eating ways if you don't stay vigilant. Learning how to eat right is of utmost importance during your initial journey (which is 24 months -- even if you lose all the weight before then). Right around that point, you get to where you can eat most anything and if you still have the same bad eating habits (grazing, sweets, etc) then you're going to struggle. Hell, you'll struggle anyway but it'll be even more difficult if you don't get into some good habits now.

Just remember, what they said is true. The gastric bypass is a tool. A tool by which we can control our eating for life. But the work still has to come from you. Don't be fooled by the fact that the first bit as you recover from the surgery is so easy. The weight flies off and you can't eat much. It's easy to think it will always be that way but it won't. Learn!!! Practice!!! Change your life!!!

Sean