still trying for some normalacy

still having trouble functioning. went to pcp yesterday getting counseling boosting depressionmeds keeping pain patch for now. took newmed and in 2 hrs shaking and stuttering and so sleepy couldnt get to work, hell no one could understand me when i did go in and they sent me home. yes they called and said they really needed me till they heard me try ro talk!
finally getting over the crud ken still fighting it! chan still here and helping with moms bills and house etc...still trying to come to grips with moms death. the smallest things set meoff. cant listen to lil drummer boy at all, it was her favorite. I can thankfully say I was with her tillthe very end and she died at peace and with great dignity. Yall never got to know her. shewas always so wonderful except for my surgery, shejust didnt understand till we went to Cleveland then everything changed. she was  back to being the mom I really knew and loved. so glad when things ended we had  no unfinished business and we we on really awesome terms and had no regrets. Her last words to me we that I was good. It made everything ok. But, itstill hurts horrible. Doc is working with meds and counseling to get me through my busy season and the holidays and then after the new start weaning me off my meds slowly so I am not dealing with ttoo much at a time.

Love to all my OH peeps I promise ti visit more often and to find my positive panties and put them on, I will get through this!!
Meggie

(((Meggie))) be kind to yourself-its only been a short time since she passed. Take some time for you and do what you feel up to doing. There is no official timeline for grief. I am glad that you got to be with her at the end and that you had no unfinished business. I didn't get that with my late husband as his was sudden. I'm sorry you're having trouble with meds. I am glad that you are going to counseling because that really does help. Take care of you and call or email whenever you need to talk-day or night. Okay?

My sweet friend--as ALISSA put it so well-there is "timeline for grief-and everyone has to do in their own, unique way. YOUR grief may be NOTHING like your siblings, even though it's for the same mother/grew up in same house. Your relationships, with your mom, were all different, and even your memories of the same events can be very diffferent.

You will have meltdowns, regardless of what kind of panties you have on. Therapy? YES-go for it!! We can give you uncondtionally love, good ears, and all the "hug therapy" you can stand, but I don't think any of us is a "professional" therapist.

You WILL go on. That is the way God intended this "life cycle" thing. It sure has some major bumps, along the way though

Continued major (((HUGS))), my forever friend

 Meggie......MEGA PRAYERS coming your way sweetie.    I lost my Mom in Jan. this year will be 5 yrs. ago and it HURTS for a very very long time.    You will eventually be better but it WILL take lots of time.   Prayers being said for you and your siblings.    Death is NEVER EASY but around the holiday's it is really bruital IMHO.    Love ya girl and prayers will be continue to be said for you as you deal with all you have been through.    We are here for you if you need us and you know I am a phone call away.    Take care of yourself and be good to yourself this year.    Many HUGS being sent to you.

Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

LUV YA GIRL!!!  ((((((((((Huggss)))))))))))))))))) 

Just be kind to yourself and let yourself HEAL !!