Telling People about Surgery

So, I told my parents last night that I am having the sleeve and just awaiting the surgery date.  They had absolutely nothing to say.  Just dead silence, and the evening went on after an awkward time of silence.  Anyone else experience this? 

What do I say to people when they ask how I've lost weight?  What do I say when I tell them I can't do x, y, z because I will be recovering from surgery?

Thanks,
Betsy

 Hi Betsy,

The weekends are pretty dead around here so you may not get alot of responses.     Your parents could have been in shock when you told them you were having WLS.   I know 4 1/2 yrs. ago when I had mine most of my family ( especailly my husband ) was totally against it.    It was partly because they were worried that something would happen to me.   Ya know.....you always hear only the bad things about WLS not the good things.   LOL    It is up to you the response that you tell people about how you lost the weight.   Some people are private and keep it to themself.   Not me....I wanted to shout it from the rooftops.   Even today when I see someone struggling that is morbidly obese  I want to tell them that there is hope for them to lose the weight.    I personally told everyone I knew.   Let me be honest with you though...when you do that.....the Food Police comes out in everyone.    They will ask you all the time if you can eat what you are eating.     But hey....that is OK with me.   I tell them that I can eat anything that I want.    Sometimes not so good choices but hey....I am living life.    That is the name of the game to live a "normal" life whatever that is.   LOL   Just take things one day at a time.   Everyone does what they feel that they can live with as far as letting everyone or no one know about your surgery.   Good luck on a quick date and you will be in our thoughts and prayers.


Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

Honey, my hubby and friends and neices and nephies were threilled and excited for me!! The rest of my family were horrified for me. With every problem and health issue (even migraine and colds) they have said I told you so and blamed it on my surgeon anddd my RNY! My hubby friends and some family have been the rock of gibralter!!

I love my surgery!! I love being a size 4,5,6!! I love fitting in any chair!! I love wearin a 2 piece swimmind suit(haven't worn one since I was 8 yrs old!!). I love the fact I will live pasy 50! I would do it all over again!! Mom is finally realising the truth and reality behind my life and my surgery and comming around. She has had health issues that really meessesd with her head ( ie: not enough oxygen to the brain) and we are becomming close like we were many many years ago wich is heaven!

Give it time and follow your heart but do your research it is for life and will give you life!! Tell who you want when you want, you owe noone nothing stay true to yourself. This is about you!!!

Meggie

I only told 5 people I was having WLS prior to my surgery and even to this day, very few people outside of OH and the WLS community know. You are not obligated to go into detail with anyone as to how you've lost weight or that you can't do something because you're recovering from surgery.
When asked how I lost my weight, I've always responded "High protein, low carb, lots of exercise and water, and vitamins."

Maybe it was the time of year I had my surgery (just before Thanksgiving), but the only thing I felt I couldn't do while I was recovering was drink alcohol at holiday parties. To get around any questions about that, I drank water with a lime in it. Everyone assumed it was a vodka tonic and there weren't any questions. Most of the world is pretty self-absorbed and really don't notice how much someone else eats. You'll become very good at moving food around enough that your dining companions will rarely notice. I traveled 37 weeks a year dining and entertaining clients and on the rare occasion someone mentioned how little I ate, I compensated by saying "I had a big lunch."

There will be those who will support you and others who will sabotage you....  My family and all but 1 friend (who is not one anymore) were very supportive!!!  The only people I wish I had not told were people at work.  I told about 5 people and they could not keep their mouth shut and by the time it got back to me the rumor was I had gastric bypass.  So by then the damage was done I corrected people on what I had done.  They all seem supportive and have been very complimentary of my weight loss... but women can be catty and I'm sure there is alot of talk behind my back that I don't hear.  As a  matter of fact they would not let me participate in a weight loss challenge this year because I had "cheated".  If they had been smart they would have taken my $5 bucks each week because I was just wanted to do it for accountability on my maintenance...not trying to lose anything!!!  My money would have been money in their pockets!!!

Best of luck with your surgery!!  It is a very personal decision on whether to tell or not.... you will know when the time is right!

I'm 9 days away from my VSG (YES!!!) and I don't know how I'm going to handle it either. I am, by nature, a very private person and I HATE being "gossip fodder" so my inclination is to not tell anyone. I have told a few people at work that I will be out "for surgery" but they have all been PC enough to not ask what for. I think they all assume it's "woman stuff" since I'm 52 and female.
My boss asked me if I was "okay" and I said "Yes, no problem, just some gastrointestinal stuff." (Didn't want my pants to catch on fire! LOL)
Part of me wants to tell folks, if they ask about my eating post-op "I just can't seem to eat much anymore". The other part of me wants to let people know what I've done so other obese people can see that there is hope out there for those of us with food addictions and lousy genes. But I *KNOW* how catty people can be, and I'll go postal if someone sticks their nose in my business and starts playing food police with me.
So to answer your question - I have no idea! LOL!
I have told the folks who matter - my cardiologist (who signed off on it), my mom (who went postal at first and has now come around to being supportive after doing all the research she could), my cousin (who had WLS years ago), and my best friend - who doesn't care what I do just so long as I lose weight so I don't die young.
I do love what Jennifer had to say about moving food around on your plate. Great advice. She's also right too though, about how little folks will pay attention to what we're doing. The old saying is "Don't worry about what others think of you, because they don't." Too wrapped up in themselves.

You know that not saying anything will not keep people from gossiping about you LOL.  They will surely speculate and suspect but as long as you don't come out and confirm WLS, it will probably stay behind your back and they won't ask you about it directly.  If someone gets up the nerve (always one in the crowd, isn't there?) you can always just say you are trying to eat healthier, which is the truth.

I told everyone about my surgery.  It stops any gossip in its tracks.  I did not want them to see rapid weight loss and gossip that I was deathly ill.  Being open about my surgery at work ( University Campus in a small town) was the best thing I ever did. Of course people are going to talk,  but at least it is good talk and not bad.  Every one has been extremely supportive.  I have even had staff that I don't even know  from other departments call me to see how I am doing and ask my if I am happy with my decision because THEY  or someone in their life is considering the procedure.   

I am pretty much like Vivian, though I do not begrudge anyone who treats it differently.  Different strokes for different folks.

I like to spread the news.   When I am at the Ballpark and ask for them to cut my sandwich in half and give me a piece of foil to wrap it in, if they question or look strange at me, I explain.  You never know when the person has a family member who suffers from obesity.  It shows them there is hope.  There is a way.

Hiya Betsy.........I've been awol all weekend............just got on for a few seconds before I take crawling lessons (to get into bed)....

I'm so excited about your decision to have WLS.     It will be the best thing that you chose to do in your life....................The way or how you tell your friends or family is personal.  Everyone takes this WLS stuff differently...

I like Vivian  WANTED TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD AND I DID............  I mostly was surrounded with positive and praise and lots and lots of support with friends, co-workers and family.........and still am............... 

I'm almost 3 yrs out now and I'm getting the "you shouldn't eat that stuff - should you" ?   HA!! IF they only knew...it is not what you eat  it is the HOW you eat......the habits the change......lifestyle change......................

What do I say to people when they ask how I've lost weight?    I tell them.  When I get the  oh, wow........I respond accordingly..........but I try not to bite back - but the temptation to defend if automatically there..........and then when I get the response:   WOW    how are are you doing now?............I let her rip and tell my story - in a positive and quick way.   Thank goodness I haven't had any issues - but not everyone can share that "positive" note.........so I'm prepared to be gentle too and walk away when needed......

Good luck in your surgery and decision and healing.   Walk Walk Wlak,  support, support support and sip sip sip.....................if in doubt -  ASK !!   Don't be shy..    (((((((((hugssss))))))))))))))