Body Image issues 5 yrs out ?????

Good morning just wandering if anyone else out there has suffered with this. I am 5 years out RNY I went from 351 to 165 in a year and a half and now weighing about 198 so I have managed to keep off 153lbs but the 33lbs that I have regained irritates me more than when I was 180+ lbs overweight....WHY????   Before when I was obese I remember saying oh I'll be happy if I was just at least 200 lbs or a size 14 I don't have to be skinny but since I actually was at a lower weight it what I want.  However when I did get to finally drop to my lowest I forget what it cost me. I was probably about 14 mon post op and was around 208or so and started using heavy drugs to be specific smoking crack ( so embarrassing to admit)any ways I was always partying and never eating and in 2 months dropped to 165. So I held out that weight for about a year that I struggled off and on with the addiction. As of February 2008 I stopped the drugs and decreased the drinking however I I increased in weight.  I believe in abut July of 08 I was around 208-210 and I got pregnant in Dec 08 and now 8 months post baby at 198 wearing a size 11 or 12.   I should be happy because I am not very overweight however I just hate what I see every time I look in the mirror I hate the flab hanging and the arms dangling.  Should I feel this way or am I being greedy with myself and be happy?????  never realized that at only 30 lbs overweight I could be more self conscience about my weight than when I was 180 lbs overweight. Well any words of advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks

 Crystal.....PLEASE don't be so hard on yourself.   Yes...I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU !!!!!  I hate my body !!!! Hate the skin but hey.....the skin WON'T HURT US !!!!  I had a LBL in 07 and my PS did NOT remove enough skin.   I hate him for that.   HE knew how important it was for me to have a flat stomach and a waist.   I have never had either of them.   But I do love me !!!!   Remember "WHY" we had our WLS....to be healthy and live a longer life.   Not to look good in a swimsuit, shorts or for any other reason.    PLEASE stop the drinking and please don't do any drugs.   We don't want you damaging your new body.   We are NOT perfect....trust me......I am far from perfect.....I have MAJOR body issues....MAJOR !!!!!  But all I can do is work my butt off exercising and try to get it into the best possible shape that I can.    Then decide if I want to go to the expense of going back for more PS after already putting out $13,000 for one I am not happy with.    We look at ourselves through "fat eyes".   I doubt that you look nearly as bad as you are saying.   11/12 isn't big at all.   I know you are much younger than I am and trust me....at any age our appearance is important but please don't beat yourself up over something you can't really control.   I wish  there was a magic potion to remove all the excess skin.   But there isn't.  Also PLEASE take your vitamins on a regular basis if your not and have your labs done regularly......that is so important also for our health.     I will be 5 yrs post op in Nov. and I am also where you are with the skin.    You are NOT alone....trust me on that one.     Please just accept what you have.   I am sure you look amazing and just are not aware of it.     Good luck to you.


Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

I am also about 5 years out. I was 263 at my highest and 153 at my lowest a couple of years ago. I leveled off at around 160, but as of this morning I am hovering around 170. I have a negative body image as well. Some days I feel like I look okay, but most days I feel like I have a huge roll on top of my pants and a bigger one inside! I call it my huge, honkin' roll and  I am very aware of it and feel like it makes me look fat. I really could have cared less when I was big! It never bothered me and I always reasoned that I "wasn't that bad!"

Anyway, congrats on conquering the addiction and on the baby. We are here for support! It was brave of you to admit the addiction. I myself am trying everyday to get better with alcohol. I have come a long way from where I was 3 or 4 years ago, but it's still a chore that I have to work at. Never drank before I had this surgery!

Remember, we are our own worst critics...so lighten up on yourself! you've come a long way baby!

Hugz,
Gina L

I am so proud of you.  I too had a drug background...a long time ago (I am 54).  I went from drugs to alcohol to food.  Now after all these years I am getting the food issue under control.

Your child will be blessed with you not using.  Also I think you are doing remarkable.  You had a baby, you wear a size 11, and you are only 30 pounds up.  That is awesome!!

Each day is your day to start fresh with your healthy lifestyle.  Make good choice, exercise and the weight will come off...the right way this time.

Please be encouraged.  You have come a long way.  Stay committed and you will lose those last few pounds.

Crystal;

I can relate. I'm 4.5 years out. I never had a drug habit, but got down to 128 lbs. From the armpits up, I looked like skin stretched over a skeleton, but I loved the rest of my body at that weight. I maintained it for two years and then I lost my job, stopped traveling, relocated and started a new life. With all of that change, I've added 20 lbs. and I hate it.

I keep trying to tell myself that I'm nearly 38 years old and I wear a size 6. Not a lot of women are that age and still that thin, but when I look in the mirror, all I see is how much bigger my thighs have gotten in the last year. I'm still under my surgeon's goal weight for me, but I feel like I've failed myself a bit. I'm not sure why we become so tough on ourselves.

Keep your head up. Think of all the good you have accomplished.