VERY BAD NIGHT - NEED ADVICE
Ok, so I'm having a real rough time.
A few things....
First, I know, not to weigh myself daily, but why hasn't the scale BUDGED?!?! It's been almost 2 weeks since I've had surgery and I'm at the same weight. I haven't cheated, I've done everything the doctors have told me to do. Ok w/ the exception that maybe I haven't worked out as much as I could have been...but the weight isn't budging :( I really thought this was going to happen quicker. I know, I know, it's not a miracle working thing, but I've seen far too many people I know lose weight and I'm just stuck at this weight.
People keep saying how good I look and how much they can tell I've lost. But WOW I can't :( I'm being really down on all of this. It sucks.
HOW MUCH WEIGHT DID YOU LOSE? HOW QUICKLY DID YOU LOSE IT? WHAT'S WAYS TO SPEED UP THE PROCESS SOMEHOW?
Secondly, I am married and have two kids (6 and almost 4). The whole time I was recovering I was never allowed to rest. Of course I had surgery right before Easter, but I mean I had to go to Easter celebrations Saturday and Sunday and watch everyone eat in front of me, because my in laws were getting together and I couldn't not go according to my husband. After kind of resting here and there, mind you, my husband works graveyard shift, so he went back to work as soon as I was out the hospital and I the very next morning had to drive my daugther to school and such. But that's not the worst... the worst is that week I really couldn't bend or lift, the house became WORSE than a WRECK It was an utter mess. I even had before surgery bought paper plates and cups so he wouldn't have to do dishes, and what did he and the kids do? Leave them laying around EVERYWHERE.
On Friday my parents are coming in, and I beat myself up cleaning the house some what - as much as I could.... and the kids and him KEEP MESSING UP. When I pointed it out, he told me to RELAX and stop cleaning. Am I in the wrong? Is this really fair? :(
All I wanna do is either, work my butt off so to lose the stress or cry the night away. HELP!!
I know its hard to walk around and see a mess but you know it won't be the end of the world if things don't get cleaned up. Your parents will then know you need help and fast, and I am betting they'd understand completely and pitch right in. That's what parents are best at. I'm sure you would say the same thing if it were you visiting one of your children that just had surgery and needed help.
I don't know what to say about your husband and children's behavior because only you know them. Children generally are helpful kids if you explain it to them-maybe they don't realize you need help? Or you could always promise a reward for helping clean.
So sorry things are rough-but you will lose weight. It will happen. Just keep on doing the right thing in regards to eating and soon it will be a distant worry. Take care.
Hang in there!!
Laura
Laura in Texas
53 years old; 5'7" tall; HW: 339 (BMI=53); GW: 140 CW: 170 (BMI=27)
RNY: 09-17-08 Dr. Garth Davis
brachioplasty: 12-18-09 Dr. Wainwright; lbl/bl: 06-28-11 Dr. LoMonaco
"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears."
I read your profile, and garnered quite a few "clues" from it. First off, HI GINA ! It used to be I never met anyone else named GINA, now I know several-right here on the TMB...
You had RNY as a relative "lightweight" at 233 lbs. Yes, I know it didn't feel LIGHT to YOU, but lightweights tend not to have the huge chunks of weights loss that larger people have-it's just nature-nothing you are doing wrong...
As your family, I'm sure many of us can relate THERE too, but no one can chang it but YOU. You're not going to change the largest child-the one you married-but surely you have some say so over the younger two. Like ALISSA said-children love to help and feel important-give them age appropriate jobs and put them to work! I'm sure part of the stress over your parents coming has to do with your mom's health, and the fact she once had a stroke at your house. You can't change the past, and she's coming to see YOU, not he HOUSE-right?
Anesthesia can take WEEKS to totally leave the body, and really jack with our emotions. That may be part of your problem too, and it WILL get better.
Are you able to get your protein in? Fluids? I cannot stress the fluids enough. Have you had a follow up with your surgeon?
I know we are asking you alot of questions, but, you came here for help, and we're trying to help you. I hope you will accept it in the spirit in which it is given.
My BEST advice would be to send your husband to ME for about 2 weeks and let me straighten him out...lol
Please let us know how you're doing!
Gina AKA Nurse Diva
RNY 4-22-02...
LW: 6lb,10 oz SW:340lb GW:170lb CW:155
We Can Do Hard Things
Now, take a deep breath! You will be fine. I did not loss weight the first week or so. In fact I gained 8lbs in the hospital when I had my surgery due to iv fluids. Give it time for your body to adjust and make sure you are getting enough protein, fluids and calories!
Meggie
First off ((((BIG HUGS))))...I so remember those days of the weight not coming off fast enough and feeling like a failure once again. You actually gain weight while in the hospital from all the IV's so you're probably losing what you gined. TRUST ME, it will come off. Like Gina said, make sure you're getting your protein and water in. Your body goes into starvation mode when you reduce your calorie intake so drastically and holds on to every ounce. That cycle will break in the next week or so. So be patient and just stick with the plan and I promise it will happen. Everyone is different so don't compare-it will just depress you.
Now as for your husband and kids. It's time to call a family meeting. Tell them that you can't and won't do this alone. That you need their support and help. Then as a family come up with a solution. YOU are not the designated housekeeper-those that make the mess, clean the mess~period.
~Stephanie~
RNY revision from lapband 7/30/07...TT/BL 10/9/08 and at GOAL
I'm getting fluids is it enough? I think so but am not sure. I drink as much as is possible!! :)
I've gone for my one week follow up w/ my doctor and he said all is going well :)
Ya'll guys rock! I needed some friends :) Especially other red heads named Gina - it's almost like I'm talking to myself lol
I sent you a friend request so you can see my profile because it is private to friend's only right now.
I was at 230-something the day I had surgery and it took me 18 months to get to my goal of 145 pounds. My surgery-twin Mari was about the same weight, height and age as me and had surgery the very same day and she hit 145 somewhere around 9 months I think, so you can't compare yourself to how fast other people lose! You should not be "working out" at 2 weeks and it doesn't sound like you have given your body enough rest to heal.
Personally, I wasn't unhappy with my slow loss because I watched several women here at work who had RNY 6 years ago lose it so fast they looked ill. It also gives your skin a chance to tone up as you go along so there are some advantages to losing slower. The only thing I would have been unhappy with was if I had stopped losing before I hit 150. You can see from my profile is was very slow the last few months but it did come off.
You are going to have stalls and plateaus along the way but my experience was I was still losing inches so be sure to take weekly measurements! That will help you get through the stalls mentally. You have a 1-2 year journey ahead of you and you just started, so RELAX and enjoy the ride! LOL
AND GET SOME REST !!!!! {{{HUGS}}}
As far as recognizing the weight loss. I didn't notice it until I have lost 1/2 my weight which was 50 pounds. I am down between 95-100 pounds and I am nearly 3 years out and there are days I still feel like I weight 250.
You are going to find yourself on an emotional roller coaster. My daughter use to tell me I became cranky after I had surgery. I felt like I was on a constant PMS. I know now why we had to go through a psych eval before surgery. There were days I thought I was going to lose it all. You have got to give yourself time to heal. At age 4 and 6 your kids can help you pick up the mess. It might not be up to your standards right now but try and get them involved. Kids like being mom's helper. Go ahead and cry. That will help more than you know. Get it out. don't keep it all inside.
Most importantly keep coming here and letting us lift you up. It's really hard for someone to understand that hasn't gone through what we all have. I know they mean well but we've walked in your shoes.