pouch rebellion

For the last 2 days, weird stuff has been happening....

I was starving hungry...nothing I looked for seemed to be what I wanted...im sick of slabs of meat....

I havent gotten all my watery products in...my right kidney told me so...

I feel like im sabotaging myself....I generally stay away from "carbs"...however last night I allowed my self a spoon of scalloped potatoes and green bean casserole....

I felt like I cheated myself....and the scale told me I was right...I did

Then last night I woke myself up in  a coughing fit...I realized my esophagus was burning,  that my throat was acidy...could it have been? I didnt think our pouches made acid...

I am putting a call into the Dr.'s ofc today for answers and guidance...I just have had a self loathing feeling for a week...no its not "tom's" fault....

I know I didnt have brain surgery and this too shall pass....but its very difficult to understand all the changes in my days....

Im still unemployed, I still stay at home everyday, I still spend every moment on this crazy computer....I need substance in my life....I need to fill this dark void...

Honey, you need some 'me' time... you're beating yourself up over the little things and stressing out over the big ones....  a good book, a glass of wine, a hot bubble bath, a chick flick, a pedicure (even if you have to give one to yourself), all at once or on separate days... just some good ol' pampering....

Been there done that, will probably do it again...

Hugs!

I used to get "me" time....im ready to start tanning, i hope they make heavy duty beds...lol

OK first off QUIT beating yourself up.  So what you had a BITE or TWO of something you shouldn't have.  It wasn't a quart now was it?  It's called "head hunger" when you crave something but what you're supposed to eat just won't cut it.  Find some substitutes that are OK to eat in times like those.  Mine was always fudgesicles when I wanted something sweet or raw carrots and radishes when I wanted crunch.  But you know what?  Sometimes nothing but the REAL thing will do and a bite or two won't kill you and it WON'T make the scale go UP.  I often find if I eat one or two bites of something I really want, it keeps me from eating tons of stuff I didn't want cuz I was trying toreplace it with something "good".  Now don't get me wrong-you can't do this everyday and form healthy patterns for life but every once in a while is OK.

Sounds to me like your life is pretty boring right now and that doesn't help with the weight loss.  I know it's really hard for LVN's to find jobs cuz the trend is all RN's in hospitals.  Have you looked into nursing homes or doctor's offices?  Or even home health or private duty?  I wish you lived closed to a bigger city cuz I'm sure jobs are very limited where you live.  Heck, branch out and go apply at Walmart-who knows that could be fun.  Just getting out of the house and being around other people will help.  Hang in there and yell if you need anything.

I understand what your saying about "eating around" the object of my affection.....lol

I got a call from a hospice for an intake coordinator....i go on Friday....so maybe I will get it...


I worked Walmart for the christmas season one year....that is one hard job.....really tough on my feet and back....i dont envy them gals at all....

Tara, don't beat yourself up.  You are right we had surgery on our stomachs not our brain and it's HARD, BS on the easy way out.

Sam from R&R is also dealing with acid reflux, you might want to venture there and read her post from last night.  RNY is suppose to help with acid reflux but I do believe some still have issues with GERD.

You mention VOID and I'm sorry you are dealing with this at an early stage.  I've mentioned it many times I feel like there is a void I can't feel.  IDK how to or what that void is but I keep working on finding and filling that need.

I'm glad you are calling your surgeon, hopefully he can give you guideance.  Also know that the hormones you are dealing with are strong right now due to the weight loss and stored estrogen in the fat cells.

Hugs,

You hang in there yourself....thanks for always being here for me.....you were right about the emotional stufff...whew!!!!

Awww, Tara, I'm sorry you were feeling crappy... But I agree with the other ladies, do not beat yourself up!!!

Like they've said, a bite or two occasionally will not hurt. Depriving yourself will only make you binge when you finally do give in. Trust me, I know! LOL!

Tara, what exactly are your general cravings? I've got great ideas for ANY cravings except my own weakness. LOL. I usually personally get cravings for salty crunchy snacks. Kind of like chips or crackers (and I don't even like chips without dip...I just don't do chips!)...

Good luck with the interview!

As crazy as it sounds, i want veggies, all veggies.....even the yucky ones i wouldn't eat as a kid...lol

I have done excellent when it comes to processed sugary snack....i really don't want them...

Bread....i would love to eat some regular ol' bread....lol

I think I was in the mindset of "protein only, instead of protein first"

I really upped the water intake yesterday and I plan to do the same today...and tomorrow....lol

I want really badly to succeed at this...

I think I have a mental block, I was loosing 3/4-1 lb a day...my DH said "I bet your under 200 lbs in the next 2 weeks", then he proceeded to mark it on the calendar as to when those 2 weeks would be up.....

Hello!!!! I dont like that.....he is just setting me up for failure...what if i dont make it to that mark by that date....does that mean ive let him down....am i a failure in his eyes....


I dont want to do this on anyone elses terms....i dont have a clue day from day what my body is gonna do...

Talk to your Hubby, he may not realise how you see his challenge!! if he doesn't know,he can't changehis behavior!! Stick to your guns, this is not a race! It is a lifestyle change! hang in there you are doing great!!!
Meggie