Its a Tragedy

The crap I notice is not ever feeling full. Like full full. I can't overeat but I sure don't feel satisfied on what I consider small amounts of food anymore. People 3+ years out who can eat ONE WHOLE SHRIMP and be stuffed? Riiiiight. Not me. One of the main reasons I was ecstatic about the beginning was finally feeling fullness (which I don't think I ever did before - with a stomach that could hold 16 cups of food I'm not surprised). But one thing that I hate is not feeling full which means I muuuuuuust be hungry in an hour. Stupid head hunger. Now the real effort comes to actually wanting to get and stay on track (and some days I'd really rather not bother).

You're not alone. Just find the place in your head/heart/wherever to do the things that must be done to get to where you want to be. Some days I'd rather beat it with a stick than listen to it but whatever. Hang in there.

Jenny you hit a hot and important topic on the "Like FULL full".  I see that as a problem for many of us further out......that "I'm satisifed" feeling.  Even though I don't feel hungry I still am looking for comfort.  *stomps off because this **** is hard*.

J, when you have time (yeah, right....I know) read up on Leptin and then the next time you're at the doctor's office for a follow up or blood work ask him to check yor hormone level.  This is the hormone that can cause people to over eat if it is not processed correctly.

Will do.

Jen,

Do I remember right that you have PCOS like me?  If so, that will absolutely aggravate the whole "never full' issue.  I can get full as well, but unless I really stay with my full dose of ADD meds or do my metformin I am only pouch full.  I want more to eat but it simply won't fit. The issue is the insulin resistance... the more insulin our body makes the hungrier we get.

What? HUH? I can't hear you past the weed whacker I'm using for my chin hairs! SPEAK UP, MY CYSTER!

I think you hit the nail on the head. I think the MAIN issue is feeding the extra insulin like I'm doing (ahem.... no I won't tell you how ) which is causing bigger issues like HUGE hunger signals to creep back in full force. If I didn't have so much crap on my plate I'd take the time and mental fortitude needed to sit down and listen to my body and find a happy medium and sing kumbayaa and all that crap. I could care less right now. Plus eating inconsistently and then being starved is happening too. Hmmmm... sounds just like pre-op stupidity that got me huge in the first place to me. Think it's time to get a grip. I just wish the grip getting was easier.

*stomping off to go find Dana so we can kick a tree together.*

You are right John, people need to take heed the regain can and oftentime does come back.  I'm up 15 lbs from my lowest and 7 from my comfort weight.  Five years in just 2 weeks from my anniversary and it's getting harder and harder.

Hang in there and start the program again.  Remember men DO lose quicker.....challenge yourself to get to the weight you want too.  Be realistic about where you should be.

another thing I am fighting is the smoking deal. Its been almost 2 months now, a slip up here and there, but nothing like it was. That has helped my weight gain I am sure.

Okay, gang.  You're gonna make me tell you one of my darkest secrets, aren't you? 

I haven't had weight loss surgery yet exactly for this reason.  Weight gain, after all the surgery and work and expense and fear, will still be "out there", lurking, whispering my name.  It's bad enough to gain it back after a simple diet.  But, what you sincerely fine people have endured - only to find yourself in the same struggle, but with more health issues, such as nutrition absorption - scares me to death.  

I know you all have great success stories to advocate surgery.  You've made it clear that the surgery is one more tool - and a strong one! - but not a permanent fix.  I don't want anyone to feel they need to defend their choice to me.  I get it. 

I'm posting this because, even though I really don't like being this vulnerable, maybe by admitting this fear, I'll find a way to work through it.

Thank you for being here!
Belle

I have that fear and I am nearly 3 years out.  I have failed on so many diets in my life.  I dont' want people to say "look at her she had surgery and she is still fat"  I want for this to work.  That is why we are here and opening up about this so that we can get support from each other.  You make the decision that is right for you.  We will all support you no matter what that decision is.  You know what will work for you.