Burnt out..... now what???

I am struggling... when I hit my goal weight I was fresh out  from round 2 of plastics but now that I am healing and feeling good I find myself hitting a wall.  Although I always knew this, it seems that mentally... I am now trying to come to grips with the fact that this is for the rest of my life and I'm feeling overwhelmed!!!! 

For the past year and a half I have been trying to reach my goal... I was okay with the planning, weighing, and counting of calories... because I had a goal in sight.  Now I'm like " Oh **** I have to do this for the rest of my life!!"

I feel like I'm more obsessed with food now then I was prior to WLS and I hate that!!! I am always thinking about (planning the next meal or day) and evaluating everything I eat!!!!  Don't even get me started about how crazy the scale makes me!!!!!!!

Losing the weight was the easy part... this thing called "maintenance" is hard!!!!!  So I know I'm not the only one that has gone through this... so how do you get past it when you hit this wall???

I really don't have any answers but I certainly know where you're coming from.  It's easy to do when you're losing weight and getting props all the time.  Once you reach maintanence and the pats on the back stop and you STILL have to plan every meal and think about every single thing you put in your mouth it get so hard. 

 I can tell you from personal experience the minute you think you don't need to do that, you will gain a little weight and be terrified.  Over Christmas I pretty much took the month off, gained 5 lbs and can't get them off for anything.  Seems like I'm no longer motivated to "do what's right".  I've been so frustrated with my scale lately that I've seriously considered buying a new one.  It's NOT the scale-my jeans are tight.  I'm actually weearing my size 10's instead of 8's just cuz they're more comfortable.  Anyway, enough about ME.  I hope and pray someone out there has the right words to make both of us feel better.

I don't imagine there are any real answers to this....  I've been told to step away and take some time off... but that scares the hell out of me... regain... HELLO!!!!  Then others have said no you need to keep keepin on and do what your doing... the consequences of not doing it is regain!

Kind of damned if you do damned if you don't!!!

I know this will pass and I will come to grips with it... maybe I'm just looking for the "it happens to us all at some point" reassurance!

Thanks Stephanie!

When food dominates your life, your existence and your self worth then it becomes are problem. If you are fixated on numbers versus healthy eating then it becomes a problem.  Its called disorderly eating which may be considered an Eating Disorder. "maintance" is what normal people do. As SMO, and Obesse people we always had a goal to "lose" weight for years, and when we hit a "acceptable" number on the scale, our minds though (through learned behaviors) is always thinking "weight loss". Maintance is good! Enjoy your life and do not allow food to overconsume your life that you have transfered on addiction to another. I wish you all the luck!

Paige, I've been there for a while, it's time consuming, LIFE consuming and oftentimes overwhelming.

I cannot reiterate to those following in our footsteps how much they need to learn and prepare for when it's maintenance time.  The WOW moments dissapate, life is just life as a normal person. 

Some days I want to throw my hands up.  I don't want to think about it.

No sage words of advice, I do understand.

WLS got us to an acceptable weight......we HAVE to make a conscious effort to keep ourselves in check.  Does this mean 100% of the time, hell no even normal people (those that have NEVER had a weight problem) don't eat "perfect" everyday.

That may be the key for us......shoot for 80-90% of the time and don't beat ourselves up.

Hugs,

 Paige.....I agree with everyone else.   Maintance is the most difficult part of having WLS.    I know for the first 2 yrs it wasn't too difficult   but the farther out I get the harder it is to maintain or even not to gain too much weight.    It is the pitts and with all the stress that my middle son has me under....well we don't want to even go there although now I am having to "make" myself eat I am so depressed !!!  I could calories and protein.   That is what I have been doing and it is somewhat working for me.   Good luck to you and I will keep you in my prayers.

Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

Paige, I know there is no magical answer to your problem.  It is a hard realization when you get past losing the wt. and the plastics.  It's really easy to just start eating what you want even though it's not near the amounts pre-wls that you could eat but you will eventually want to kick yourself in the hiney about it.  I think like some others that you have to live life sometimes.  Dana's 80-90% vs. 10-20% good vs. bad eating is probably  normal for any normally thinner person.  There is probably only 1% of people in the world who always eat healthy.  People who have stayed thin and maintained their wt. eat healthy the majority of the time and then indulge every once in a while.  One way to try for maintaining is to eat strict during the week and more liberally on the weekends.  You may come up with some other idea.  Just don't give up!
If these suggestions don't work Steph and I will just have to beat the heck out of you in a couple of weeks!

Karla

Beat away!!!!! lol

I think part of the problem is just the winter blahs added to all the WLS stuff has just put me in a funk!!!  I knew this life style would be for life when I had WLS... it's just the reality of it all is finally hitting....

Thanks all for letting me whine.... I will get past this!!!!

I'm just gonna lay it out there. Yes maitnance is boring, the accolades are over, and it is for life! But look at what you have accomplished. This is where we wanted to be, at a healthy weight. Yes we have to be careful but so do people who didn't have wls.

Trust me I do understand the fear. I don't know if you know my story. Since wls 2 1/2 years ago I have been in the hospital 13 times and have had 8 (5 major) surgeries. I just finished 24 days in the hospital and have a foot long g tube comming out of my abdomen connected to my remnant stomach. I will have it for at the most 1 yr.  I still can only eat a few bites of food and only soft food for another couple of weeks. Plastics are out of the question so I am stuck with my elephant hangy skin.

Now I am not lessoning your emotion. It is overwhelming that this is for life and I do understand. I think now is the time the counseling should come in. That is my plan. I have cried for the last 3 days wondering if I did the right thing to have the surgery in the first place. My answer...yes.

I never want to go back. I could die of obesity and be buried in a piano box w/ people saying oh poor Megan if only she would have lost the weight. Or I could die from the surgery be buried in a regular casket with people saying she fought for her heaalth to the end.

Yeah I talk about the tiny clothes and like being a fashionista but the truth is far deeper. I will never again knock a toilet off its footing due to my weight. I will never not fit in a bathroom stall again. I will never split my pants again. I no longer have migraines, knee pain, ankle pain, back pain, or hip pain. When people hug me, they hug me not put their hands to my shoulders cause they cant ge them around me. I am no longer "the fat sister" and have to be ashamed that I am embarassing them. I no longer worry if I get any fatter Ken will no longer love me.

Boy did I purge. Didn't mean to vomit on you like that. If any one thinks I should delete this just let me know.

Meggie

It's all good Meggie!!!!  You have accomplished so much.... and been through more then your fair share of rough patches!  Thanks for putting things into perspective.