Legal advice..... for a friend

Okay I have a friend whose husband has threatened a divorce and said he would sign over his rights to the kids so he wouldn't have to pay child support.   He can't do that can he????   He is a total control freak and has moved her out into the country away from all her family and friends and has emotional and verbally abused her for years.   He goes into rages but has never hit her... or at least not yet.  She is a stay at home mom and home schools their kids... again another way to control her. I feel so bad for her... she does have a teaching certificate but has not taught for years.  She really wants out of this marriage at this point... but is scared of his threats.

Any advice would be appreciated!!!!

 Paige.....sounds like she NEEDS to get out of that situation and get her kids out before they are scared for life.    I know that one of my neices EX husbands threatened the same thing about giving up rights.    It didn't happen so I really don't think that it is that easy for that to happen.    Sounds like your friend needs lots of support and encouragement.    Also I imagine that her self esteem is at rock bottom.   Tell her to enroll her kids in public school and not to give her hubby's information to them and for her to sign to up teach school or at the very least sub for other teachers.    She needs to get out of that home or him one.    Good luck to her and please keep us updated.


Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

I'm pretty sure it's not that easy.  He would still be held responsible for their care until they reach legal age.  She could call the attorney generals' office and ask as they are the ones responsible for collecting from "deadbeat dads".

I told her that if it were that easy to do.... a lot of dead beat dads out there would gladly sign over the rights to get out of paying child support.   Just another way her husband is trying to control her.... I hope she calls his bluff... but I'm afraid she may give in!

Paige, there are many women's shelters in the Houston area that can assist your friend and offer her advice, both legal and personal, before she can get to an attorney. If she will.  Houston Area Women's Center and The Bridge Over Troubled Waters are just a couple.  If she's farther north (in your area) Montgomery Co. also has a good one (if memory serves me correctly).  A man cannot just give up their parental rights to get out of paying child support. (that whole threat is just laughable) That would leave  too many children for the state to support, so they aren't going to do something like that when the father can financially support them and there is no LEGAL reason to terminate parental rights. Sorry but the kids and your friend are stuck with the jerk.  I know that she is scared of his threats, she needs to document, document, document and somehow come to the realization that he's just as you said, an arrogant, blowhard jerk with some serious control issues.

Whether he hits her or not, HE IS STILL ABUSIVE and unfortunately, statistics show that most women do not leave situations like this easily.  It usually takes 8-10 times of leaving before the woman truly does.  In time the situation still escalates into violence.  Unfortunately, as her friend, you can't do much of anything, except be her friend.  She has been belittled, beaten down and probably told that she was crap for so long that she may possibly (probably is more likely the word) believe that this is her lot in life and that she deserves no better. It's frustrating, as an interested third party, because it's so very hard to understand the psyche of the "battered" woman.  I volunteered as a women's advocate for 10 years and it was still difficult to understand.

Good Luck to you and especially to your friend.  She may need it! 

PAIGE-recently my son's best friend did this very thing (much to my chagrin). After a DNA test was dome that proved he was the "baby daddy", etc. Jeff signed away all "parental eights". He won't pay child child support, but he can never lay claim to her either-EVER. I read his court papers. Someday he will be sorry he did this. It probably is different in that Jeff and this girl were not married-not a long term relationship, like your friend.

Is there a "Legal Aid" place in your area she could call-just to ask questions?

As others have said, I don't think he can "just sign his rights away" unless she wants him to.  He will be legally responsible for financial care until they are 18 and graduated from HS. 

Livingston has a good "Saafe House" for people like her to come and start over with the kids if she needs a place to get away from him.  A friend of mine runs it.  He won't even know where she is. 

Glad you're trying to help her out.

Karla

check your PM but basically he can only do that if someone - new husband normally - is willing to adopt the children -

Thanks everyone!!!  She is actually in the San Antonio area right now at their home, but last night he came to their apartment here in Houston.  He works here.  She wants to get rid of their home and buy one here. Again another way to control him... he said no that she and the kids would have to do what they have always done... travel back and forth!!!  Or he would file for divorce and sign over his rights so she couldn't collect child support!!!  She was going to try to find an attorney or someone for legal advice today.   He told her when he left last night that she had until midnight to basically call him and agree to his terms or he said he would be talking to an attorney today to sign over rights.... he is such an ass!!!!

My BIL signed his rights away many years ago to avoid child support (he regretted it and now has a relationship with grown daughter) She would miss out on the child support but it sounds worth it to not have to deal with her husband. So I'm thinking maybe he can unless laws have changed.

Hugs,

Lynnette