Struggling

This goes out to those that are farther out than me.  My question is I have gained 5 pounds since the summer.  I feel like I am failing.  But the funny thing is people around me are telling me how good I am looking lately.  They tell me my hair looks so much better than it was and that my skin is looking better.  Could it be that the weight I thought I wanted to be at was too low for me?  Maybe I need to just embrace this weight and work to stay here?  I know I have looked at some pictures from last summer and my face looked drawn and thin to me.  But I have this fear of failing and gaining and people saying "I knew it wouldn't work". 

Can you guys give me some help on how you might have overcome these fears?  When I was a newbie I use to think "How can a person put themselves through this and then gain some back?"  Now I am one of those people and I see how it can be done.  I am still careful with what I eat but I did let myself enjoy the holidays more than I had in the last 3 years and I can eat more now.

Enough of my babbling........LOL

Teena,
I'm up some as well, about 25lbs than my lowest (which honestly was probably too low for me)
I'd like to come down another 10 in order to be in my sweet spot again.

Sometimes you have to consider that this is not an "all or nothing"  success/failure kind of deal.

A little bounceback is normal and expected, as your body adjusts to your new plumbing.  When i see a number on the scale that i'm not completely happy with, i just remind myself that I weigh now what I weighed as a high school athlete, and just because I'd like the number to be lower, doesn't mean that I'm at my pre-surgery weight all over again. It's just time to re-evaluate, make some changes, and adjust.

Thanks for the encouragement.  I guess we have had people down us so much in our lives that when we do something like WLS we don't want to give them a reason to do it again.  I try and remind myself that others don't know what number in on that scale.  My clothes all still fit.  And I am so thankful that I have done as well as I have.  I guess I need to step back and take the advice that I give others in my life.  Even after nearly 2 1/2 years I have to remind myself that I had surgery on my stomach not on my head.

I'm here with you too, Teena.  I always felt it would get harder the further out but didn't anticipate how much of a struggle some days could be.  I've gained some too, not a significant amount above my surgeon's goal weight (3-4 lbs right now, but it was worse).

My lowest was to low also, although I liked seeing the number when I compare pictures I looked sick and drawn.  What you are hearing from others is I'm sure the truth.  Five lbs isn't significant, it's IMO a leveling out of where you probably should be.  The mental aspects of seeing the scale go up is MUCH more trying than anyone that has never struggled with obesity can understand.

My suggestion to you is to embrace where you are and continue to focus on making good choices 90% of the time.  If you are breaking the rules (drinking with meals, overcompensating emotions with food, not taking your vits) then focus on retraining yourself there and enjoy where you are today compared to 3 years ago.

I am trying my best to live life today as a "normal" person.  I'm not where I want to be mentally but I'm working on getting there.

Hugs,

I am with you on the "Normal" part.  I dont' want to feel like I am on a diet roller coaster anymore.  I do have a habit of drinking some with my meals.  I did let myself enjoy sweets over christmas which is something I haven't done since before surgery.  Now was it to the extent that I would have done presurgery??  NO!!  but we all know from our past that it starts out small and will blow up before you even know it.

I'm just so thankful I can come here and know that I am not feeling alone in all of this.  I just want the newbies to know that this doesn't always get easier the farther out you get.  It's just the issues you face change. My advice is to never get too comfortable.  Although I have broken alot of old habits many are still lingering and just waiting to be released again.  It's like that little orange creature on the weigh****chers commercials. LOL

Teena and Dana I am so with both of you on this.  I want to think normal.  I had this surgery to be healthy.  I am a lot healthy now than I was 2.5 years ago.  I am on no meds now.
I too have gained some back, 13 pounds to be exact but am working on getting that back off.  Surprizingly my clothes still fit(12's) but I am sure that I would feel better without the extra weight.
I never had a weight  goal, and that was a problem to start out with.  I always said I did the surgery to feel better and get healthy.  I once was within a 100 lb loss but not anymore.
I am carful with what I eat, but could do better.
I have the same fears as you, but just take one day at a time.  I think it will be interesting to see what others post.
By the way you look FANTASTIC!

Melissa V

Thanks Melissa.  Dr. B and I decided if I could lose 100 pounds that would be great for me.  I lost 106 at one time but didnt' feel good at all when I was that small.  Plus I didnt' stay there very long.  For the last 1 1/2 years I have stayed at 100 pounds lost and now putting back on these 5 pounds has been a hard mental thing for me.  My stomach feels swollen.  I find myself wanting to find excuses for why.  I have been having some female problems that could be causing some of the bloating I am feeling.  This is according to my GYN.  But I have to make myself accountable now.  I dont' want to go back to that old way of thinking.  I guess I am just afraid that 5 will turn into 10 which will turn into 50 if I don't stop it now.  I am happy with where I am I just need to stay here.  I know I haven't been to support group meetings like I should.  I have lost some of the excitement that I use to have for them.  But my goal for this year is to get back involved and to help pave the way for others like so many have done for me.

I know what you mean-I spend to much time obsessing over the weight that I have yet to lose, I don't even believe all the wonderful things people say to me...You are right we didn't have our head operated on and we still have to deal with the issues of comfort eating-or at least I do! And yes the newbees do need to know that it will NEVER be just smooth sailing and pretend that we don't have to worry about it. Real is real and that is the reality but baby we are worth it! And so much healthier and happier (if we can quit looking at our challenges as torture and embrace them a chance for a better life! Keep reaching out for support and plug in! ((HUGS))

Great attitude!!!  I keep telling myself anything worth having is worth fighting for.  I am worth it and I need to fight for it and not just accept that I might gain weight.  I refuse to roll over and just let the weight come back.

Teena

I think that most of us regain at least a little from out lowest b/c we work so dang hard to get to that lowest ever weight - but then reality is you have to function in the real world, you have to change your focus to being healthy instead of losing - and for most of us thatmeans a little less of our time and emotional energy goes into LOSING weight - now we rely on the habits we have learned during that first 12-18 months

for me personally when I was at my absulte lowest I was not healthy - at least not mentally b/c I was so focused on working out that i was spending 4,6 and sometimes8 hours EVERY DAY working out - NOT healthy behavoir - now 2 1/2 yrs from that crazy time I am 10-15 pounds heavyer - I am still VERY happy with my weight loss and I still keep a VERY VERY close eye on the scale and how my jeans fit - I know i have a fair size pms bounce every month and expect that

I think what I am saying is that if you are maintianing where you are with out a huge effort - taking care of yourself, getting  your vits and protien, drinking enough water (around your meals not with them by prefernce) and getting some exersize than YOU ARE IN THE GOOD GIRL

if you start  gain more - if it becomes "to much bother" to take that walk, swollow that vit etc then you have problems but rightnow it is all a head game

hugs
danni