OT: I need help

Oh honey! I knew there was a reason I logged on the OH tonight. I'm sending so much love and so many prayers your way. What ever I can do...just ask. You family means the world to me! I wish I had the right words to comfort you and strengthen Eric. All I can do is pray and love, so that is what I will do.

Thank you sweetheart!

Jenny,  I sent Eric a message, and hope that all the notes bring him encouragement.  And some for YOU too!  You're an amazing woman.  I can't say more on that...I just start crying.  So I just hope you already know how incredible you are.

Ok, before I melt into a blubbering puddle...here's what came to mind tonight...  decision making.  I try, if at all possible, not to make a major decision when things are at their worst (or best for that matter).  If I make decisions when I know I was thinking clearly, I can rely on that to carry me through the worst of it.  I don't decide whether to leave my husband or not in the middle of a fight with him, because I KNOW without a doubt that there's a good reason I'm with him...even if I'm too mad to think of it right now.  I don't decide to quit my job during a rough day at work.  I don't decide to buy a new car when mine is broken down....you get the idea....  I can't imagine any bigger decisions that the ones you two are facing now.  Pray for guidance and make your decisions when you're feeling strong...then rely on that confidence, no second guessing, and feel secure that you made the right choices then...the best that you and God could do together (and He can do ALOT)...no matter how those decisions feel in the weakest, darkest moments.  Wait for another time of strength and calm before you re-evaluate.  Put on your best Scarlet O'hara until then, and "think about that another day".

And take my advice or not....I know the last thing you need right now is advice.  I just was hoping I could say something to help.  If the advice didn't, then I hope you heard some hugs in there too...cause they were there.  Words just aren't enough right now.

Actually, advice is well received right now. I feel like I'm floating in limbo of unchartered territory and I'm scared and tired and frankly, really lonely. I think the worst thing is I can't talk about it with my best friend because it involves my best friend. Really unfair in a way. I probably could talk to him about it but I don't want to put the burden on him. I know he feels bad enough as it is - guys always feel bad for getting sick or not providing and stuff like that. I just wish I could just ask for a real hug - not a cancer dog tired I can barely hold my arm up kind of hug - and just cry on his shoulder but I'm just afraid he'd just cry back. And there's nothing worse than a couple that are both down and out at the same time. I've always noticed God makes it a point to make one person in the relationship strong at a time to pull the couple through - it's just rough having to be the tough one all the time right now. I know I can be stronger than I ever thought possible because as my mom says, I'm a scrapper. But good grief, my soul feels bruised from overwork.

Honey I feel for you - just wish I was close enough to come over and hug you then drag you off to do something totally unrealeted to life, shopping, watching kids play, swinging in the park

make yourself a safe place - even if its your closet or bathroom and when you need to cry and really want Eric to hold you while you cry take a pic of a happy time of him, a pillow (to scream and cry into) and just cry honey - tears help wash the pain and scaryness away, at least a tiny bit:)

lots of hugs

First of all, are you both on any type of antidepressant?  If not, talk to your doctor about this.  There is nothing wrong with taking something to help you.

Secondly, I think I already shared this with you, but in the 1970's, there was still no cure for Testicular cancer.  My uncle and his family lived in NY.  They moved to Florida so that he could be part of an experimental drug trial.  It cured him.  There was no hope for anyone back then and he survived.  I always admired him for making such a brave decision (he lived a long happy life, until he passed away from something else).

My thoughts and prayers are with your whole family!!

Laura

Jenny-
Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.

We all believe in you! Keep reaching out any and every time that you need to baby! You are stronger than you know! You both have the support you need and you are doing the right thing by asking for help. Yall will get thru this! Love and prayers~Annette

Hi!
I sent him an email. I will add him to FB when I get home tonite. You all are in my prayers. My ex- FIL went through this same thing when he was sick with cancer. I don't know the right answers or even what to say to make it better- yeah, a speech therapist is truly speechless. I know that I love you all, and pray for you. If I can do anything please let me know.

Tracey

Thank you all. It's been an incredibly rough couple of days, today being spent at Harold Simmons trying to get Eric hydrated and less nauseous. Took allllllll day. Two bags of 700 whatevers plus steroids and anxiety meds and nausea infusions. They prescribed special nausea suppositories (OMG don't ever tell him I told you!) that will be ready on Thursday. Let me not forget to mention I waited at the pharmacy for an hour to be told they wouldn't be ready until Thursday. Yeah. I was ticked. Lets just say cancer has made me mean and turned me into a cavewoman. I grunt and growl and scowl more often. Loooooovely.

Anyway, I talked with his chemo nurse and she knows about his struggle to find the strength to continue on. We've all decided on starting an anti-anxiety drug to help take the edge off the next couple of months. They're gonna be incredibly hard to live through. I know he can do it, but I also know he needs to find the mental strength to CHOOSE to do it. I can be as proactive about his health as I need to be - but HE needs to be just as proactive.

Anyway, I have to work again tonight so I'm headed to bed but I just want to thank everyone again for the support and just checking in with him. You'll likely not ever get a response from your messages but KNOW he has read them all and cherishes them. The nice thing is although he's not overly active on FB he gets all the e-mails directly to his inbox (80+ in the last day.... ummmm.... ooops! LOL) so it's a great means to offer support. He sees support for us all the time on my FB, but it's different when it's directed at someone else, through them. Know what I mean? Thank you for taking your TIME away from your loved ones to support my loved one. Time is so precious and using it on my family is so wonderful of you. Thank you. It really means the world to me.

Much love, and unending gratitude,

Jenny

Jenny, where do you live?  I would love to cook a meal for your family.  You don't need to have to worry about that right now.  You probably aren't that close to Dallas, but I am willing to drive to you on the weekend.  I will add you guys to my FB tonight.  I think I already have you.  What is your name of FB?  If there is ANYTHING you need, we are here for you and your husband.  I can even watch kids while you run errands... ANYTHING.

-Kim T