very mixed emotions-am I a bad person??

Meggie honey listen to your friends - you are not a bad person - I never told my dad how mad I was at him, I told off his casket however and have never regretted it b/c it got ME to where I could heal. He wasn't abusive just a total flake at being a parent and a dishonest person LOL

you feel the way YOU want, dance my friend, I'll hold the tunes for you if you need both hands.

I think the fact that you care enough to send his wife a card shows you are not only a good person but a lady in fact

love ya
Danni

Your predator may not have been the same man to everyone. But to you, he was horrible. He may not have had to pay for what he did, but at least he isn't able to do it to anyone ever again. You are entitiled to your feelings. Your feelings are valid. You did not ask for his abuse. You did not deserve it.

I understand the confusing emotions that may be running through your mind. My abuser, my cousin (father of a teenage boy and a 5 year old girl) died just after Christmas last year.
More about this in my blog.

I hope that you can face your feelings and get through them. Don't let them have any more control over you. Try to face those negative feelings, feel them, then try to let go. And maybe try not to let other people's opinion of him effect you. They have to deal with their feelings in their own way. Maybe they are in denial.

Hell... what do I know? Am I the blind trying to lead the blind? Maybe. Maybe forgiveness is the key. I haven't gotten to that point yet though. I will have to refer to some professional help in this matter again I am sure.

Best of luck to you Meggie

Meggie, it's your feelings and you have a right to feel what you want.  Don't allow someone to tell you how to feel sweetie or what to think of someone else for reasons that have affected you in one way or another.

You ARE NOT a bad person in any way, shape or form. 

(((((Meggie)))))

Nope.  Not a bad person at all.......

When I was between 10-.... on to about 16.... we had a 'nice man' who lived down the street that my parents played bridge with.... well, the 'nice man' wasn't.  We moved to a house in a different area and THEN the 'nice man' and his wife would come to play cards... let's see...peeping in my bathroom window... tried to put his hand down my blouse (I bit the HELL out of him and he couldn't say or do anything).  Used to call and tell me he'd come over if my parents weren't home... I was terrified and my parents wouldn't believe me.....until..... they came home one night and I was sitting in the living room with a butcher knife in my hand in case he walked in the door... then.. they believed me....

Fast forward to last year...... 2008..... I was 64 years old...... OBITUARY in the Dallas paper....

I jumped up at Starbucks and declared it!!! and proudly.....the ******* is FINALLY dead.... he made it to 95....

Obituary said "friend of children"... HUH????

Janet

You know Meggie - just reading through these posts is somewhat theraputic today for me...  I won't get into the details, but will simply say that you are very entitled to your feelings and like many others - right there with 'ya!   It's always hardest on the ones left behind that didnt' have a clue what they were living with.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and understanding! It is time to let this go and move on to a freeer life.

it will be a Merry Christmas!
Meggie

I would have a tendency to believe that the other girls involved have closed down and blocked it out as a protective mechanism.  I wouldn't be surprised if they were also "ashamed" that they "allowed" this to happen to themselves, so they shut it out and tuck it away in the deepest recesses of their minds. Unfortunately, it is very unhealthy and most likely will bite them at some other point in their lives. They are probably dealing in the only way they know how, albeit poorly, IMO!  Your reaction is normal, even healthy, unlike the other victims of this person. You have "put on your big girl panties and dealt with it" and are the better for it.  I am sure that the wife would appreciate your condolences, as she is probably "clueless" and yet another of his victims.  

You are such a special woman, Ms Meggie!  I just lub you long time, Hunny!!!  
Mari 

Seems like a "conflict of opinion situation" ..   So many others said he was "wonderful", on the other hand  ..   Where did you hear he was a "perverted predator"?    If it was from just one other person, maybe they were not telling the truth, for whatever reason, to malign him .. possibly out of personal spite ..  

  I can empathize with the situation ..  I have a very good online friend in FL who has been married to a much younger gal for many years now, and they have one small child together ..  She thinks the world of him, apparently ..  However, he also goes around bragging to me how he has run around on her w. other gals w/o her knowing, apparently ..  When my friend came down recently with cancer (we thought terminal at the time, but he pulled through), I wondered what I would do if I attended his funeral and ran into his wife ..  Does she deserve to know the truth about her "loving husband", or should I just keep my mouth shut ..  ?   

You obviously only half assed read my post or you would know that I knew he as a predator by first hand experience--DUH- I was one of his victims!!!

Yes keep your mouth shut! You of all people are not the person to tell her! You do not have the tact, sensitivity or people skills to handle that sort of sensitive issue!

Meggie

I just re-read it and you need to learn to write a little more clearly ..  No where in it does it specifically say YOU were a victim of his ...  unless by referring to a "chubby girl" in the third person you meant yourself ..       Say what you mean, that's one of the cardinal rules of story writing  ..   You certainly weren't afraid to just now ..
  
  And, b****ry to learn a little "tact, sensitivity and people skills" yourself ..