To those that feel offended, don't belong, etc.

Lynne
Yes you would love Donna. I had the privilege of getting to know her better recently. She's a very warm person, very nice and welcoming. Definitely 'our' kind of people
Liz

awww Thank you Liz!!!  I so enjoyed getting to know you more as well....too bad it was after you moved from here! 

Donna

Though at the time I was in "flight" mode too (before I met Paige LOL) so it may have been me as well.  Hopefully nest time will be different for us!

Donna

Lynne - I understand how you feel and have been there myself....  In fact, I went to the Dallas OH Conference a few months back and at times, felt very out of place - like a stick in the mud.  However, at the same time (and believe me when I say this whole thing was WAAAYYY out of my comfort zone), I met some incredible ladies.  In fact, I had lunch with a group of about 10 and had a blast.  Spent the rest of the conference with a few of them and thoroghly enjoyed their company.

Also got flashed in the bar that night, but that's another story....   Hubby thought it was funny!

My point is simply this - no one can make you feel uncomfortable unless you allow them and I often find that if they're looking at you with a blank stare it's simply because they don't know what to say either.  Any type of relationship takes work, even on-line friends :)  I find that many of us here have never been outgoing kind of folks due to our weight and even when we're 'skinny' still tend to think like a larger person (stay quiet and no one will make fun of you, right?).

I'm often odd man out because I'm young enough to have small children, but instead have one in college.  So, when I'm around young mamma's, it's challenging as they look at me like I'm crazy when I admit to having already been through the various stages of raising kids.  I've also been divorced and married again 10 years ago...   Dare you to guess how old I am by my picture!

So, while I may look young, I'm not quite as young as I look which leads to people I can personally relate to better; thinking I'm too young to hang out with (what would we have in common, right) and young people being, frankly too young for me... In the end, it makes, making friends somewhat tough and I've learned to stay in my shell - especially in person.

In the end, I still come back here and go to local events because I want to get to know people who can relate to where I've been and what I'm going through.  I certainly hope you do too and would be delighted to meet another quiet soul in person :)

Lisa, it was a joy talking to you in Dallas.  I wish I had spent more time with you, that's the biggest drawback to large get-togethers.....there is NEVER enough time.  You looked MARVELOUS in Dallas and your hubby is a cutie too.

I'm shocked you have a daughter in college, I'd never guess you old enough to have one that age.  If I guessed your age I'd say somewhere between 30-34, I know none of my business but how old are you if you don't mind sharing?

See I'm on the other spectrum of being a mother.  I have young boys (10 and 8 1/2) and become uncomfortable in social situations when I'm there with my boys and all those younger mothers.  I don't feel like I can relate to them because of the age difference.  There is a big difference in what 20-30 something year old mothers like/dislike and what a 45 year old mother considers fun/entertaining, etc.

Dana,

ok so I am late and to save from beating that poor horse....I have read through everyone's post to catch up and what I will say is this....it was hard to me to reach out that first time.  Had it not been for Tanya I am not sure I would have at all.  And I am so Thankful that she introduced Paige and I so yes that has made it easier for me as now she and I have each other to nudge us a little easier (safety in numbers even if only two LOL).  But for those that I have been able to connect with I can honestly say I am so glad I have....I can say with everyone from OH I have met, if you have the anxiety of reaching out to others after years and years of hurt....what better way than with someone else that has walked in your shoes!!!  The energy in a group of wls post ops is amazing.  I think the reason I am drawn to it is you can not help but be positively uplifted and charged.   To me it has helped me get more comfortable in other social situations!

I do not post that often true and I tend to skip the drama ****il curiosity has me going back to read it anyway) - but I would not trade any of it.  The good and the bad both helps me through this incredible journey. So keep it coming LOL!  The one thing that gets me though is name calling.  We have all heard it enough and I do not like to see that others can stoop as low as he does and pick on the same people over and over again!

Love ya!

Donna

Donna, I agree sweetie.  I know in 2008 Tanya did an amazing job with you and Paige in pulling you both out of your comfort zone to attend the conference.  I was glad to speak to both of you some then and again in 2009 in Dallas.

I totally agree when you have another friend with you it makes reaching out and enjoying yourself, meeting more people is so much easier.  Like I told Paige, you also appeared much more comfortable in a large setting in 2009.

I'm really glad to have met both of you sure wish I could of gone to Karla's and spent more time with ya'll.  The pictures from Karla's party were incredible.

Hugs,

I wish you cold have too!!!  Perhaps I can make it to the next gathering your way!

Donna

After the 5K last night we were having a conversation about this.  It is like anything in life you get back what you put into it.  This group has always been nice & supportive to me.   But in the begining I just stayed back, for many reasons (just issues with myself)  BUT since then I have been trying harder to make friends and get myself involed.  All I can say .......why didnt I do this SOONER!!!  This is such an awesome group but you have to start by saying HELLO!!

I am sorry anyone doesnt feel apart of this group but you need to look at your own actions/re-actions first!!!

Hugs B~

The first (and only) time I went to an event (dinner in Galveston) last spring, I was overwhelmed with all the friendliness.  I posted that I was a little nervous about going and not knowing anyone.  Dana told me I would get lots of hugs.  Well, I was about 30 minutes late thanks to the ferry and almost didn't go in.  Everyone was nice.  A couple of ladies even moved tables so that my mom, son, and myself could all sit together.  However, nobody offered me a hug.  I finally met Liz and told her that Dana promised hugs and OMG...Liz took me by the hand and personally introduced me to everyone in there and told them they had to hug me cause that is what Dana said would happen.  I left my poor mom and son sitting at the table while I was drug all over the place getting hugs.  Sean even came by about 10-12 times to give me a hug.  I had the best time!  Everyone was hilarious.  However, IF I had not stepped out of my comfort zone, I would still be scared to go to an event. 

A lot of rambling just to say thanks to everyone and to MYSELF for allowing myself to feel special enough to venture out.  It truly was a turning point in my life. 

A former employer told me the other day that I was sexy.  I was taken aback, but then he was quick to say that confidence is sexy and I was gaining more confidence everyday.  Guess what?  He is right.  I am and let me tell you confidence IS sexy!