To those that feel offended, don't belong, etc.

I challenge each of you to step out of your comfort zone and find friends.  I have been on this board for 5 years now and I can tell you when I originally came to the TMB it took time and me to step out to make friends.  It is YOUR responsibility to make an EFFORT to meet others.  We are NOT obligated to reach out to you if YOU do not reach out and support others either.  If this isn't the board for you then find one that gives you what you need.

I really do not care what others feel about me, I know who I am and what I am.  I have supported many people on the boards in these past 5 years.  I have made many lifetime friends, not just from Texas but from many different states.  OH has been a blessing for me, but you know I HAD to make it what I wanted it to be. 

What happened yesterday to a positive thread was ridicules and yes I got involved in it.  However, I WILL continue to say my piece when someone is here to cause trouble.  I'm not going to sit back and allow a jerk to make such comments to ANYONE, EVER.

The TMB is an awesome board with awesome people.  Step out and make it what you want, it's your RESPONSIBILITY, no one elses.

Dana I applaud you for this post!!!  I have been reading all the treads the past few days and haven't really been sure how to respond to several posts that really got under my skin a bit... until now.

I have always been a shy person with very low self esteem... I HAVE always felt like I NEVER fit in since I was a child!!  I always thought people were doing me a favor or felt sorry for me and that is why they included me... I know that's not the case but it's how I felt.  That has not changed as an adult!!  Those same insecurities are still there, but I'm working on it. 

I have loved TMB since I found it... (even with the drama... seems every board has to have at least one ass) I truly don't know  if I would have been as successful without it.  Prior to WLS I didn't know anyone who had, had it done other then an uncle who had it 30+ years ago.  A few months after surgery I parted ways with a very close friend... it was painful but they say when one door closes another one opens...about a month later I went to my first OH conference and I met my best friend and so many incredible people!!!!!

As far as TMB goes... I know there are some people that make me alittle nuts so I don't read their posts... There are plenty of forums here at OH for them to go to.  Why do they stay at TMB.. to push our buttons I guess.  But whether buttons are pushed or not... it's only natural that for as tight knit as the TMB community is we will come to the defense of others when they have been wronged!!!  TMB is a family... we have our dysfunctional moments just like any other family!!!  It reminds me of my relationship with my brother... even as adults we fight all the time.  But let someone else come in and do something to the other... then we stick together like glue!!!  It's just what family does.

I admit I get jealous of all the get togethers in Dallas... but NOTHING is stopping me from going but me and about 4 hours in the car.  I recently had the opportunity a few weekends ago to hang out with an incredible group of TMB women!!!!  WOW... it was wonderful to get to know them better... and I feel like each time I see them from now on it will get easier for me to put myself out there.  I think the "conferences" can be a bit overwhelming... so many people!!!   I think that's why I enjoyed the smaller get together so much more!!

I know that it is up to me... I have to put myself out there and make the effort.  It is not easy... the anxiety I have just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach... but I know I have no one to blame but me if I'm not getting what I need from TMB whether it's online or IRL.  The only person responsible for my happiness is me!!!  And I can say I am happier now then I have been in my entire life.  My family sees it, my friends notice it... and my coworks comment on it!!!  I finally feel like I'm starting to become the person I want to be.  Granted it's taken 44 years... but better late then never!!! 

But it's all up to me!!!!!

Thank you TBM!!!!!

I remember the first time I met you Paige.  You hid behind that camera lens and wouldn't let any of us see who you really were.  When you finally posted a picture, I made sure I spoke to you at the conference.  It was brief but it was a start...fast forward to Karla's birthday party.  OMG what fun we had and it was so great getting to know you and Donna better.  I now know when ever I'm in your part of the state, I've got friends to hook up with and vice versa.  My house is always open (not necessarily clean, but open) for whenever you two decide to jump in the car.  Yes, taking that first step is hard but the rewards are great.

I have never been made to feel unwelcome and I remember so many of the TMB'ers coming up to me... because I was to shy to go to you!!!   I really think that someone who is wanting to feel included needs to go to some of the smaller gatherings (less overwhelming)... Karla's party was perfect!!!  I will take you up some floor space sometime soon!!!!!  And you always have a place  to bunk up here!!!

Paige thank you!  I remember meeting you at the OH Conference in 2008 in Houston and knew you were stepping out of your comfort zone to be there.  You knew Donna and Tanya IRL but had not met any of us.  I was glad to meet you that weekend because I saw a shy, yet amazing woman that had stepped out to meet others.  I

Fast forward to Dallas this year and it was a totally different story.  I could see your happiness and the exitement you were having with everyone.  Yes, it does take courage and a bit of "want to" to get out there and meet others, I've been there.  I've watched you this past year bloom into someone you want to be and have enjoyed watching your transformation into the woman you are.

Stepping out is a good thing, we each grow when we take chances in life.  You did it, I did it and many other did it; I honestly hope those that don't feel a part will take that chance too.

Thank you Dana for the sweet words!!!  This has definitely been my coming out year!!!  2009 has been a life changing year for me in so many ways!  I do finally feel like I am the person I always knew was inside of me!!! Like Stephanie said it was always much easier to hide behind the camera then step out....

Oh, Paige.  We have great TMB peeps here in Houston.  I love getting together with my WLS friends and would not have found them without this group. 

I focus on the positive stuff here, not the negative.  Life is too short.

Laura
(brachioplasty scheduled for 12-18-09~ yippee!!)

Laura,
I know there a bunch of local people but where is everyone???  I never hear about anything going on... would love to join in next time!  I'd love to meet some more local peeps!!!

Great post paige! Again, had such a great time with  you and Donna at Karlas!!!! Looking forward to seeing you ladies again SOON!
Liz

Thanks LIz!!!  Can't wait to hang out again soon!