Judy Update - It's Not Good News

  After asking Judy's niece in several emails to please update us on her status and not getting any response, I finally went ahead and called Don to check on her myself  ...

  Don verified that Judy has in fact been transferred to the nursing home in Kerrville, but the last few days she has refused to eat anything or to participate in her physical therapy.  She claims food tastes yucky.   I'm really wondering if she's giving up the will to live and just wants to go, after all she and Don have been through.      Don told me that he was able to find out that she suffered a major stroke to the right side of her brain after the Chiari Malform operation, due to fluid pressure build up in there as a result of the neurosurgeon not putting in a drainage shunt at the time of the procedure, supposedly.   

  Poor Don is beside himself, breaking down and crying many times while I was talking to him.  He says he doesn't want her to die and doesn't know what he's going to do next.  I wish I knew how to say comforting things for him, but I'm not a preacher and just don't know what to say at a time like this ..   It's a really sad situation ..    

  Can they not force Judy to take nutrition?   She does NOT have a living will but Don says that she refuses to let them insert a feeding tube.   The staff claim, in their opinion, she is not mentally competent, but if that's the case it seems like they could restrain (or sedate) her and force feed her with the tube, legally.  

   Don says that his cousins from FL are coming to visit and help him a bit right after Thanksgiving.   He said he'll probably end up selling their place in Bandera and everything and moving back to FL with them, and having Judy transferred to a nursing home near him there.  He's already had to give away all their beloved pets, except for 5 dogs, as he has no time to take care of them.  

   He also told me that their bills are rapidly piling up, and that, although Judy had some sizeable savings in a local chain bank, for some reason the bank has frozen the account and refuses to let Don have access to the funds in it.   I don't see how, being her legal spouse and Texas being a community property state, they could lawfully do that.   Sadly enough, if Don is a PODB on the account, then if Judy were to actually pass away, he would definitely be entitled to it, but things are in limbo right now.  I'm going to do what I can on my end to try to help him with the bank.

   Right now, though, they both could use a LOT of prayers, prayer-warriors ... 

   Thanks ..   



    

  

 Paul.....so SORRY to hear this.   I was hoping since I had not seen you post about Judy for a while that she was much much better.    I am so very sorry and will definately keep her and Don in my prayers.    As for her bank account.....is he a signer on the account???  If not....he needs to go by the bank and see if he can get paperwork to take to her to sign so he can access her account.   If I were him.....I would go talk to the bank president and find out what is going on with the account.    I am sure that he can get things straightened out.   I know when my mom passed away 3 yrs ago.....I was a signer on her account and it was no big deal at all.   When she died after all the bills were payed I went to the bank and closed out the account.    No problems at all.    Maybe he should go into the bank and talk with someone there and let them know what is going on.    I am sure that they will do all that they can to help him out.   Prayers going out for Don and Judy and for Don to be able to get access to the money.   Thank you for updating us on her condition.



Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

 Thanks, VP ..    I too had thought maybe the reason for the lack of updates was a good sign that maybe she was slowly improving, so I was shocked to hear how things were going with her.  

   I really think her "contacts" there are reluctant to talk to Don b/c they know how upset he is.  In fact, the nursing home asked that he not come by more than once a week, b/c they can see what a toll it is taking on him to see her like that.         He starts wailing and saying how nobody seems to care about her anymore but him, and that's why no one  checks on her.   

   I admit it really stresses me out to see him and her like this, too, but I knew someone had to check on how they were doing, so I did ..  

   Thanks for keeping them in your prayers ..