PRAYER NEEDED FOR ME PLEASE !!!

EO is right about the tough love! I hope your DH is being tough, too! Mine was not and it put all the responsibility on me ( don't you guys just love being the bad guy) I was shocked at the way my son took up for her and went her way! I really thought he was ready to be rid of her but her wasn't. My situation didn't involve drugs and rehab-but it did involve grand kids-but Viv you are in no way responsible for their rehab! Your son has to want to be rehabilitated with or without your help! If you can get him away from her-talk to him and tell him that this is it and you are serious that she is going to hit the curb and make a believer out of him! He does owe you that and he does owe you respect over her-she is not even his wife! (thank God) Don't let them make you feel like you are the one that is wrong IN ANY WAY! You have a right to whatever you want in your own home. If your DH will;  make him stand up for you and put them all in their place!! And if you are not seeking professional help, you really need to, hun. They don't give you the answers but they help you see the whole picture!

I did demand that the GF move out and packed her stuff and told her she would not spend another night in my house! They got  dressed to go out and I told my son she was not welcome to come back to get her stuff. I would pack it and he could come and get it. Well, they came back with a trailer and she had a stun gun! I called the police as soon as  I saw it and they came and would not let her in the house and stood guard while he moved all their stuff out. It was so embarrassing!!!! I feel like she has been thru this sort of thing many times in her young life. She was actually laughing the whole time the cops were there and enjoying herself. That was in July and my son didn't speak to me for several months. She has not been back in my house since.
I do help out with his older kids-so I can be with them- and she picks them up! I have not seen the baby since it all happened and she says I will never see her...he is not even sure that she is his. But since he has kids of course I want to stay connected so I can be with my g-babies! THAT IS WHY I SAID THAT ABOUT HAVING REGRETS AND THINKING THINGS THRU...Just be thankful that is not your situation, too. Because it may take some time but their relationship will have to end because it is not built on the right stuff and he will come back to you if he sides with her for now...I don't usually air my laundry like this but I felt that I should explain my situation since I said that about the regrets. I know this is hard and will continue to pray for yall ok? Hugs!!! Annette

Annette.....I am so sorry that your son's GF has put you through all of this.   I have no idea what my husband said to them last night.   I was livid and not in the room when he was talking to them.   I did walk by and she made the comment to him about being treated like a 31 yr old and I yelled start acting like one and maybe you will be treated like a adult instead of a little kid.   UGH makes me so angry just thinking about it.     She is NOT good for my son but only he is the one that can see that for himself....whether he has or not yet.....I don't know.    I do know that she is very sly and extremely controling....but she will not control me at all !!!!  I won't allow it.    Also my youngest son I don't believe is happy with her being at my home either.    Talking about this with ya'll really helps.    It helps me to get it off my chest.    It is just sad when you adopt a child and their parents were drug addicts that you sometimes encounter problems such as what I am encountering.     I am praying that he is really trying to get clean and stay that way.    If I have any indication that he is using anything at all he is out of here also.   Thanks so much for sharing your story with me.     I don't want to alienate my son but I will do anything to save him from the demon of drugs !!!!



Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

Oh Vivian,

Think of the rest of your family. What is it doing to them? Your youngest son? Your oldest? Your husband? And last but NOT least, You?! Is it worth it keeping her there?

You know we all love you and wish the best for you and your family.

Julie

Trust me Julie....I know all this !!!  Much more of what went on yesterday and I personally will take all the clothes and throw them out the front door of my home.   I won't tolerate her treating me badly at all.    I think my middle son is seeing a side to her  ( hopefully ) that he has never seen before and it is opening his eyes !!!  I pray that is happening anyway !!!   Love you too and trust me.....It won't go too much longer with her here unless she changes and alot !!!

Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

I know it easier for us that are on the outside looking in. I can't even imagine what I would do in your shoes.

Take care,

Julie

Viv,
This will sound hard-hearted. I don't want the information wrapped up in fairy farts and rainbows so I won't make it "kinder".

Quit *****ing, quit taking the **** and throw them both out.  If they don't hit ROCK BOTTOM they won't come up.  You've been "helping" the whole way.  STOP.  Skip the church programs and get YOURSELF to a REAL Nar-anon meeting and see what you can really do to help them.  Don't wait, don't give another chance, don't be "almost there".  You have a responsibility to YOURSELF, YOUR HUSBAND and YOUR YOUNGER SON.  You ARE NOT responsible for your 24 yr old ANYMORE! You NEVER were responsible for his GF...EVER.  
TODAY is the day to save yourself and the family that really lives in your home.  Not "soon" or "just about time"  NOW.  I've been there and done that.  It sucks and there's no way around that.  YOU did not cause the addiction and YOU can't make it better.  THEY have to step up and do something or not.  You can't make them do anything with ultimatums.  Won't work.  "Stop pouting and get jobs" won't work.  
Call these people and ask for their help.  They will help you.

www.usrecovery.info/Nar-Anon/Texas.htm

Viv, with great respect and love I must agree with Kris! I have a siter(the evil one) We put up with the drugs a alcohol and her horribleness for years so we could stay in contact with her kids. The more we did the worse it got. We said ni more. She isn't any nicer but has been clean and sober 16 yrs and I will give her credit for that! Hang in there! Take care of you and know you are loved!
Meggie

Have you ever contacted a homeless shelter?

Talk with one of the counselors there....I did home health and we had to go treat a guy with diabetes, that stayed there......they have rules, there is a lights out policy, there is a clean up policy.....and Girl at 8 am everybody is out.....there aint not hangin around, watching TV, napping, eating....no maam not any leisure at all.......

I say you call one up, inquire about it and all its rules then stick to them....if they dont like the new rules they can go stay at a homeless shelter where they dont give a crap if you pout or not....the feed them breakfast and supper, lunch is your own problem, but they think you should be too busy looking for work to worry about lunch...Im not real sure on this but there my be a time frame as to how long you can stay there, ie; 6 weeks or so.

 Thanks so much.   I may just do that and enforce the "new rules".    So far today they are acting alright.   But the day isn't over yet.    They just left to go look for jobs.  Hope that is what is happening.

Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

I'm praying but for you to follow the excellent advice from all these people who have been there.