How do you do it?

Maybe some others will share here....
I had a message from someone this morning asking how I maintain, etc after all of these years.  I didn't want to copy the message for privacy reasons but thought I would share my reply in order to make people understand this journey is not always easy... ...(thanks to the one who sent it to me...it helps to pur things in writing...) The food demons are still there if you let them get a hold on you again....
 

Personal message

Well...let's see...I got to 142 before getting preg 10 months out...I managed to get back to 152 and stayed there for about 3 years...and I don't know how...because I let myself slip into some pretty bad habits. (eating too many carbs, not exercising, etc.)  My goal weight has always been 125-130 so I never got down to where I wanted to be. But I only gave a seriously good effort once in that time to no avail. So that brings us to today....all the bad habits snuck up on me and I managed to gain up to 168 this summer. I was so mad at myself but had to realize I just did it to myself. So for 2 weeks I have been on a "gonna do things for myself" kick and have managed work on kicking some very bad habits. (such as too many bad carbs, grabbing snacks for no reason, drinking to much alcohol, not exercising enough etc...)  So the Back to Basics challenge has come in very useful for me....I am tracking my food again using dailyplate...eating boocoos of protein, less bad carbs (NO CHIPS!!), more veggies and fruit, taking my vitamins, drinking my water,etc....So I am happy that I stopped the vicious cycle before it got worse...things I still need to improve on....more exercise, and less diet coke...I have lost 8 lbs during the challenge so far... It is hard to make myself see that I am still 90 lbs from where I started so should still consider myself a success...but I am working on the head games in my mind....it is good to see you more lately...I have always been so impressed by your journey....hope this is the answer you were looking for....

Great reply July!  I believe those of us further out have to share the ups and downs of what we go through.  Everyone needs to realize that we had WLS but we are still food addicts and allot of us are emotional eaters.  Finding the balance and living with our disease (yes obesity is a disease) has it's challenges.

Those words "XX lbs gone forever" make me cringe when I see them.  I hope for all of us it can be gone forever, but in truth unless we work our plan and make good choices they aren't gone anywhere; they can come back and for some it does come back.

So to everyone reading this, PLEASE be honest with yourself and take control of your addiction to the BEST of your ability.  Two, three, four or more years down the road when you can eat more at one time......the challenges are still there, they don't disappear.

 Amen !!!!  July and Dana you two have said a mouthful!!!!!   That statement about the Weight being gone forever also hits a nerve with me.    I also have watched a few pounds creep back on me.   I hate it too.   Have gone up one pant size and I want back down.    I am reading and applying the Beck Diet Solution but still....had a BAD day yesterday.   UGH !!!   I swear our brains are our worse enemy sometimes.   Anyway today will be a good day.....I declare it !!!!!   Hope all the newbies are reading and taking heed to this and not saying......This WON'T happen to ME !!!!   Cause it surely can happen to any of us !!!  Have a fantastic day today !!!!


Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

Great reply July.  Thanks for keeping it real and telling it like it is.

I was just telling someone this week something along the same lines.  They made a remark that I was able to eat like I do now (at/near goald weight) because it was easier.  I set them straight real quick.  It is NOT easier.  It is different, but each and every day, each and every hour, I still have to make a choice.  I have to choose between healthy, nutritious fueling meals that will allow me to keep the body I have worked so hard for, or the unhealthy foods that provide immediate gratification but no long term benefit except an expanding waist line.  Like you, the B2B chalenge has really opened my eyes, or maybe a better explanation is that I was shaken out of my fog-like stupor of denial.  It has given me a better understanding that my actions today will absolute impact my scale tomorrow and the longer I stray off plan or the more poor choices I make, the worse my consequences will be.  Luckily I stopped a gain only 6 pounds up and I've already lost 2 of those pounds, but let me tell you it wasn't worth it.  It takes way too much work to take those pounds off.  I have made a commitment to myself to pay more attentin to what I'm doing and to make better, more conscious decisions about what goes in my mouth.  I don't think I'm an extremely smart person and I'm not any better than anyone else so I figure if I can do it then anyone can.  We just have to buckle down together and hold hands when needed for a little extra support. 

Tawnya, I always have felt so positive about your journey because you've really researched it so well.  You are an inspiration to me.  You are right about that 6 pounds.  It becomes harder to take it off and it's so not worth it.  I think I lucked out in a strange way because I didn't have any aftercare.  I didn't see another post-op until 3 years after my surgery so I didn't know any better.  I just assumed that everyone would succeed and that 3 years got me enough time to retrain my mind so in the end, it really helped me.  I still fight the demons in my head and often times have a real hard time with somethng close to "survivor's guilt".  Because of it I over extend myself online and end up spending hours and hours helping the best I can.  I love what you said about having to buckle down together and hold hands for support.

It's not that I'm so good that I've kept the weight off....it's because of a promise I made when I first heard of the surgery and I'm going to explain that during my talk at OH.  My dad will be there and I'm thinking he's going to be surprised by some things he hears.  I'm so excited that my dad is coming and like Becky says, my dad will get to meet the people that live in the computer and most of all see the beauty of the online community and how powerful it is.  I'm so looking forward to this particular event and can't wait to show off the TMB to not only my dad but to any other attendees that don't know about the TMB!
Thanks for being such a refreshing source of inspiration girl.
hugs, Y

very well said all - I am an emotional eater and I do not think that is going away - ever!!! but losing 200+  pounds and keeping it off has allowed me to LEARN TO MAKE BETTER CHOICES  not perfect ones but better ones - my family will watch me PMS eat and not say a word (they value their heads) and then when I am dumping remind me "Mr Pouch told you NO last time you ate that too" and 2 or 3 times latter I have learned Mr Pouch told me no and I can not sneak food past him

kinda weird thinking but it works for me

I know I don't post as often as I used to or as often as I should, but I'm coming up on 4 years out, so I thought I'd add my take on this subject.

I agree totally with what everyone has said. I agree most that newbies should get lots and lots of support and keep on getting it.

I must say that "it does and it doesn't" get any easier the further out you are. Sometimes other demons creep in to take hold of what used to be your addiction to food and eating! Trust me, I know!! I started this journey at 263 pounds. The lowest I have gotten is 153. I average anywhere from 158-164 and have for the past couple of years.So I think my body is comfortable there. I was so excited to go from a a size 26W to an 8. However, even though my weight hasn't changed drastically, I am much more comfortable in 10's and sometimes, i like the feel of a 12! LOL I have lots of saggy baggy skin and most days wear a  huge ole muffin top around my waistband. Sometimes that is harder to deal with to me than weighing 263 pounds! So therein lies a whole new set of head games that we must deal with! I still cringe when I see myself naked in the mirror, can never resist picking up my big ole honkin' belly roll and shaking it at myself!! LMAO! At least I can laugh at that!

I have picked up lots of bad habits over the 4 years, gone against many of the "rules" we are taught from the beginning. Too many carbs, too much alcohol and drinking with my meals to name a few. I do try to do protein first when I eat, but I LOVE my veggies, so sometimes that is hard! I eat more than I ever thought would be possible when I first had surgery. So there is one of your not so easier parts. You still have to work at it, you still have to be mindful.

My hubby had surgery almost 5 years ago and sadly, he has gained over 45 pounds back. All in all, he is still down over 130 pounds from where he started which is great in itself. But he struggles with the added weight, it takes a toll on him physically, his blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar levels have all gone up. He is actually on more meds now than before his surgery. His self-esteem has taken a nose dive, he feels like a failure in many ways and wants desparately to get the added weight back off. he knows he has the tools to do it, but saying and doing are two different things right?

Why am I telling you this? I want you to understand that those pounds are NOT necessarily "GONE FOREVER" my friends. They can and will come back if you don't follow the program and the tools that are given to you! Fortunately I still dump, so sugar has not been an issue for me. I overeat a lot though and get "hung" frequently. Those 2 things have been a life saver for me! I am here to support my husband and in turn he supports me. The past five years have been up and down for us. So excited to be thin and healthy, but dealing with all the emotional head games and negative body images have been tough. Sometimes I feel like I lost a part of myself in that 110 pounds I shed and I feel the same about him. We are not the same in so many ways! Thankfully we have a long, sustained and strong relationship or I'm not sure what might have become of us!

Sorry to have gotten on a soap-box here, but I wish I had known some of the things to look for at 4, 5, or 10 years out! I may or may not have been better prepared! I'd like to think I would have not felt so "10 foot tall and bullet proof" though!

Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far!! We are all SUCCESSES in my eyes and I love each and every one of you! So many inspirations, I could never name them all! You know who you are!!

Hugz,
Gina L

Gina, that's got to be hard with your husband's situation.  Bless your heart.  And hey, have you tried Spanx??  Spanx is a miracle worker for holding in that skin to where you can't really tell.

Negative body images is just about negativity in general.  We can't be perfectly positive all the time but if we can work toward making more positive days and try to outnumber the negative days, that's ALL GOOD!  Thanks for taking time to write this post..it was great!
hugs, Y

Gina~
Thanks for your honesty~thanks for sharing your heart with the group!

mgf~

What a great answer.  I'm so glad you posted it.  I think the key thing you said was that you are still 90 pounds from where you were.  I swear if you really remind yourself of that every time the stinkin' thinkin' starts, you will win!  Watch the alcohol sweetie because it can not only become our cross addiction but we make poor choices when we drink regarding food too.  Also concerning chips...I don't know if you knew this but did you know that a one pound bag of potato chips takes ten pounds of raw potatoes to make?  We can eat a pound of potato chips but we could have never eaten the ten pounds in it's natural state.  Plus they throw in the fat and the salt to make sure we crave them even more.  You are doing so great because you are aware of the head games so get the positive mind set going and you'll be OK.  You are coming to OH in September right????
hugs, Y