Old timers and Stressors - Accountablility -Regret

I see so many struggling emotionally on the train today and food is the 'destressor' of choice. I know I am one as well.  I wonder if we should try and crank up our accountability post in some way so that we all would have an outlet and support to find better options than eating.  I've been thinking about it quite a bit lately.  Like each of us posting our 'vices' or bad habits or stressors and what we do .. and then when it happens, a call for help either on here or via text might get us through without the food.  I think there are many of us that are further out that are 'playing with fire', so to speak.  I know I am.  Compromising and saying, "oh I can eat this now, so let's do it".  Some of us are dealing with pouch complications like ulcers, grouchy pouch, tightness. Others are maybe not planning out meals more or having better food options and choosing instead to go out to eat more often than we should.   That's a biggy for me lately.  I know if I plan it will work so much better.

So my question is - how can we as a group of 'old timers' help each other?  

Karla has done a wonderful job with our daily accountability post.  Do we need to have some way to reach out through out the day? Or do we need to have a separate post for more of a 'blog' type space so that we can post;  what was our trigger, what food did we turn to, what other choices did we have, and how do we try and prepare for the next stressor?

I guess I just wonder why I, and many others of us on here, can't just work the tool.  We know that eating out more often than preparing good stuff at home will lead to trouble and regret.  We know what  food makes us dump or is a No No from the doctor because of complications.  We know that having snacks and sweets (potatoes for me) around the house leads to MINDless munching.  We know that our need to run and house and be the superparent,wife, gf, etc leads to stress eating.

So how do each of us find the switch to shut OFF those triggers before they happen?  How can WE help each other?

Anyone with ideas?

Becky, IDK at this point where to start.  I need to really just stop and put my thoughts, emotions, worries, job stress, etc. on paper and work on realizing that life will always throw monkey wrentches in our lives, that's a given.

I'm game on working with and helping each other get through these times.  I've emailed back and forth with several post-ops lately to gain motivation and determination and know that when we were having time to do this I was being more accountable to myself.  Denial is evil and I've been in denial for a while now.  I CAN get back on track for a few days and then I feel good mentally and physically BUT I can't seem to stay there.  Why is beyond me right now; but I have to do something NOW.

It's time for me to get my head screwed on right and find BALANCE for myself. 

Maybe we can talk on the phone tonight after I get the boys settled in for school tomorrow.  I AM going to grab a notebook and start writing tonight of what those emotions are and what is causing them to interfer with my choices and life right now.

Dana,

You think any of the others could do a yahoo chat?  My phone is jacked up and dropping calls right and left. And  I know it's more than just us.  That way we could get some feedback from everyone on what the issues are and how to address them.

Maybe once I get home and groceries and all that, we could settle in about 8ish and see about a chat..?

Thank you for posting this. I am 3+ years out and really see a need for this. So much attention and energy goes into the pre-op through goal phase (and rightly so). But then you get to maintenance and it drops off - but the issues in our lives continue and sometimes escalate! This area is very much in need of more focused attention, accountability and support. I'm game and hope others will be also.

Mary,

check in for updates as more folks read and we will let you know.  It's like Dana says, that BALANCE is so hard the further out we are.

Mary, I agree the focus has been on the pre-op through basically the first year or two.  After that, I oftentimes feel we are on our own to "figure" out what to do, when to do it, how to do it. 

I believe there are several things that have impacted where my mind is today.

1)  My surgeon retired and I feel I don't have anyone to go to, talk to, express my concerns, etc.  And, there is NO accountability with my surgeon any longer.  I did well losing the weight, following the plan, etc. the first 2 years.......I didn't want to disappoint myself nor did I want to disappoint my surgeon. 

2)  I've relocated and have no local, in-person support group to attend.  The ONLY support I have is on-line.......I have considered even starting a local support group but don't know many here that have had surgery and are looking for additional support. 

ADD:  Ok I just called a local surgeon to see if they have a support group and they DO, and it's OPEN to EVERYONE.  So, I now need to make that step of getting there and working my tool.  NO EXCUSES RIGHT, *sigh*....time to Just Do It!

Good on you for stepping up and getting it done!! Now go to the meeting!! You might meet up w/people you can get a social support group rockin too!!
Meggie

Balance? WTF is balance? Lol.  Thankfully, tomorrow my team at work is doing a "biggest loser" kind of deal, which should hopefully help me get back on track.
I'm at least 7 lbs out of my high range of "happy place" and want to just work my tool like I should.
Also hoping to hook up with Sara (allen Sara) regarding couch to 5K.

I'm just torn between work/family/kiddo and only have so much time in the day, so I keep putting myself last.  Gotta love motherhood!

Rachel

I'm just torn between work/family/kiddo and only have so much time in the day, so I keep putting myself last. 


Rachel, this is what I'm dealing with also......always worry about everyone else and we come last.  I KNOW it can't continue this way that we have to make "us" time.....but how when so many depend on us.  Balance, as I've stated before, is the magic to the equation......so why do we as mothers feel so out of sorts when we try to find that personal time we need/crave?

BTW, I'm 10 lbs above my HIGH limit and feel like it's 50 lbs. 

I think the biggest thiing we all have come to the conclusion about is that this surgery, whichever you had, was no "magic fix" that all of a sudden we no longer have issues with eating. Yes, it was like that while the honey moon phase was going but now that your a ways out its back to the grindstone.

Michelle and I are exactly 1 week smoke free. Man I feel a 100% better but you know damn well that is going to play on the eating issues. I am walking 2-3 a day again so hopefullly it will eventually work out to my benefit with the exercise. Now, the only thing I have to work on is eating "crap." Smoking was first, then exercising now its the eating habbits.

I dont really know what else can be done to offer "support" to people on this board. I think there are a lot of posts that already address these issues. The reason we forget to "work the tool" is that this surgery didnt fix our addiction to food. I love food. I love to eat. I love to taste different types. I am a food addict, lol. The dream job is Diners, Drive Ins and Dives on the Food Network.