What a year !

One year ago today - I found myself in tears, waiting for hospital staff to wheel me into surgery for gastric bypass. I was terrified, scared i wouldn't come out of it, terrified of potential complications - afraid that i'd have it and still fail. After all, i'd spent a lifetime on diets that never worked.
So much went through my mind that day.
And i'm so glad i went through with it. My life has changed in ways i couldn't have even anticipated.
It hasn't happened as fast as i'd like - but i'm so proud of what has happened.
One year ago today, i started my weight loss journey. I am down 112 pounds, plus 14 inches in my waist, and countless inches all over (we'll do the measurements tonight).
One year ago today, I also quit smoking - for good. I tried and tried before hand and couldn't. But surgery helped me do that, and i'm as proud of that as anything.
Back to the weight loss: I dropped from a very tight size 30-32 sometimes to most of the time now in a size 18-20.
I can buy bras that fit.
I can bend over to tie my shoes.
My seat belt in the car has lots of slack now - no more being stretched taut across my body with no room to spare.
I can touch my toes !  I discovered that in the gym one day when i needed to stretch after a particularly tough set of reps, and started crying right then and there, for joy ! lol.
I can get down on the floor and get back up again without having to crawl over to a sturdy piece of furniture for support.
My belly no longer protrudes further than my boobs.
A ring that was tight on my pinkie now fits my thumb.
The arms on chairs no longer dig into my hips, because i fit into them now. In fact, i was at a gathering with friends one day, and later someone told me how proud they were of my weight loss and said "No offense, but I couldn't help but notice that you fit in the chair now." lol. I took no offense. It was sheer joy for me !
I love to have my picture taken now, normally, lol
I can go to the gym and work out with weights for an hour and still have the energy to do 30 minutes of cardio.
I go somewhere with friends, and i have to go to the bathroom and walk through the restaurant and see people looking at me and no longer thing - they're looking at me cause i'm so fat. I now think - "That's right, look at me ! I'm worth looking at !"  It's not cause i'm gorgeous, cause i'm not. I'm not thin - i have a long ways to go. But i feel good about myself and my friends tell me they can see it within me.
I've noticed i've developed an affinity for bracelets and rings and big earrings - accessorizing like i never really did before. First of all, things fit now, that didn't when i was 366 pounds ! But i didn't want all that attention to me either, so i dressed down.
I am so rambling, but i can't help myself because i'm so happy with the changes in my life.
It's been tough. Lots of days eating would make me hurt. I've had plenty of days of nausea and frustration that i can't eat like my friends do.
I'm a food addict - and sometimes i graze too much and hate myself for that.
But i take it one day at a time, and keep plugging along.
I've still got about 80 pounds to lose, and lots of hard work to get there.
My ultimate goal is to get off the insulin.
I'm completey off one type of insulin, and take less than a third of the other type. That's amazing progress. And its getting to be needing less and less the more i lose and the more i work out.
My blood sugars are almost always where i want them to be.
A year ago i feared i was going to lose a leg to poor circulation. My feet and legs were so swollen i could hardly find shoes to fit - and even those hurt after a couple hours.
No more.
I still have wide feet, but now love to shoe shop, lol
Why the rambling? Why is this such a big deal to me?
Because all my life i've been obese. Even as a small child my family worried about how big i was.
My mother taught piano. At 12 years old we were having a recital, and my parents went to buy me a dress for it. We had to get a size 16. At 12 years old. That's awful. After that i gained a lot of weight. About the time my mom died when i was 15, i got back to a size 16. But i haven't seen it since.
Right now, at 254 pounds, i am smaller than i was at 17 years old.
I discovered recently that i can fit into those auditorium style desks at the local college  - you know, the kind where the desk top flips up and over your lap. I couldn't do that when i was in school, cause i was too big. And here i am, 43, and smaller than i was at 17.
And at some point this year, i will be smaller than i was when i was 12 years old.
Lord, that's just hard to fathom, even now as i write it.
So, if anyone is reading this, and contemplating weight loss surgery, particularly RNY, i hope this gives you some motivation and encouragement.
It's been life changing.
And so have all of you who over the last year given me so much support - and sometimes tough love. I haven't been on here much lately, just a lot going on in my life.
But i want to thank you all for the information, the encouragement, the advice, the support. I hope that in some way i've been able to give some of that back.
And (lifting a glass) here's to the next year !

Happy Surgiversary Sweetie!! You are doing fabulous! Ain't life great post-op!!!And it just gets better!! Please go to the SMET message and leave a note!!
Meggie

Thank you, sweetie. And I've posted my SMETs!!

Good for you!!  My surgery was 10 months ago.  I can relate to everything you posted.  Life is grand!!

Laura

Now add some updated pictures, girlfriend!!

Laura

Thank you ! And i thought i had posted new pics ! lol.... The Avatar here was just taken a month or so ago. But i'll go look and see if i need to post others, still.

On your profile, the last pics you posted were in May...

Laura

 Stephanie......Love ya lady !!!!  You have done a amazing job !!!!  Let me give you some advice......now that the "honeymoon" phase is over......you will have to really watch it !!!  Do the things that you have been told not to now...weight on that scale daily.    Be aware of everything that goes into your mouth.  I  am here for you if you need me.    You will get that last 80 lbs off...I just know it !!!  Congratulaions on your first Surgiversary.   Glad to see you posting again.   I miss seeing you here.

Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

Thank you, Vivian !!  And I am doing those things. I've been weighing myself nearly every day for some time. I will NOT allow myself to regain the weight.
And i do watch what goes into my mouth, though as a food addict i break down sometimes. But now I know what i'm doing and can generally stop myself.

I've missed ya'll, too. Just had a lot going on in my life. Hopefully will be here more often.

 We have a opening in our room at the OH Conference in Dallas if you want to go.   I can give you a promo code to get you into the conference for $20 then the room will be probably around $30 a night.    Let me know if you are interested in going.   We would love to have you in our room.   It is me, Phyllis, and Becky_Tx.    


Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian