Surgeon who ENCOURAGES disorderly eating... .2 year post op!!!!
I've been debating on whether or not to post since last Thursday following my 2 year follow up with my bariatric surgeon... I'm more ACTIVE then I have ever been in my entire life, in fact last Wednesday, my primary care physician who has really followed me pre op and post said that I have a heart of an athlete!
People, with whom I have worked with post-op both professionally and personally (my primary care physician, therapist, nutritionist, trainer, friends & family) have all told me that my eating habits and working out had become obsessive, and to the point of aneroxic thinking with "restrictions" of food, constant work-out, etc. Now, pre-op for years since I was young I had an Eating Disorder.. So, I know that the addiction cycle is there- I am not oblivious, obviously that is why I am working with team!
So, I go in to see my surgeon, and the first thing out of his mouth, "wow, you look great.... did you pay out of pocket or did your insurance pay for your surgery." I reply, "out of pocket". He said, "your insurance paid for the hital hernia repair... we can go back in on that and make your pouch smaller! If you lost 30lbs you would be PERFECT". "WHAT!!!!"
So, what hear is "I failed... I didn't lose enough, etc." We then talked about calorie intake and he said that at this point I should be eating no more than 1,100 calories a day... 3 meals and then 2 shakes at 10am and 3pm.
I tell him about ALL the working out that I do, and of course what all these other PROFESSIONALS that I am working with wants me to do to be 'healthy'-- not to focus on the number on the scale, etc... We discuss the exercising that I do, and that I work out 6-9x per week (one rest day and a couple of days more exercise) and that I am eating 1300 - 1600 calories a day. He says that there is NO such things as you have to "eat X amount of food if you exercise"....
I ask him about what people are saying about the food restricting that I do and the fear of food I have that I will gain weight. And, that I have a eating disorder therapist.... ETC, he said that I do not have a 'eating disorder' he said that is the "lifestyle, I commented to when I had surgery".....
He said well you gained 5lbs in a year since I last saw you... And, you've lost 68% of your excessive weight. That this surgery is a "LIFESTYLE" change and a diet that you will be on the rest of your day. Asks me what I am eating, because it is EXTREMELY low right now, and his reply that is PERFECT! That is what I needed to be eating.
What the heck??
2 years post op and I should only be eating 1100 and he said that I should be working out 2x daily (besides the times I am workingout with my trainer, I should go back and do a HOUR cardio (straight cardio) 7 days a week!!) Your body does not need "rest"...
Okay, so I have 4 other professionals who are telling me to do the EXACT opposite, and this surgeon who helped me with my tool, and this journey who is the "specialist" in WLS....
The other point I want to make-- I have gained 5lbs, yes... I have SMALLER clothes, still losing INCHES, and gaining muscle!!
Really, do you want me to stop eating and over exercise??
His he more CONCERNED about HIS image then mine? The statistics of weight loss... because he did say I was at 68% WL of excessive, average gastric bypass patient**** 75%!
ETA:
He did have me do my Resting Metobolic Rate and according to this I should be eating 1372-1774 for WLS anything less then 1372-- should be monitored ONLY under a care of physician....
"Winning at a Losing Game"
I think if you are happy with yourself and others around you are happy that is all that matters. I have been worried about my 2 year appt coming up. I am at about the same weight but who knows when it might jump up or down 3-4 pounds. I guess I will be very careful this month so that I don't get a lecture. I might just cry.LOL
Teena,
You know, Dr. Barker really didn't "lecture" me. I, honestly, thought he was very sincere, and was commenting on "how good I looked, etc..." And, made suggestions that made me feel like a failure in my weight loss. Everytime, I have seen Dr. Barker when I have come in his office, I have never seen anyone else for all my follow up appointments its been him. He kept saying that I would be "perfect" if I lost 30 more lbs, and that we could go in and make the pouch smaller. He just said I didn't want my body to go into "starvation" mode. But, realistically I know that eating 1100 calories and working out as he said 7 days a week- 2x per day that would DEFINITELY put my body into starvation mode.... Especially since he said it didn't matter about how many calories we ate versus what he exercise-- he said that is not true. I am not sure if he is just looking at his "statistics" or what at this point.
I honestly, believe that Dr. Barker is a great surgeon and until my visit on Thursday, I had EVERY ounce of faith in him that he was looking out of my best interest. However, maybe he is just looking at stats for his success in WLS.
My team is out of my "health" and Dr. Barker is out of "skinny".... I need HEALTHY middle ground.
I walked out of the amount feeling like a complete failure-- like I let him down and that all my weight loss up to this point did not matter... It's like competiting in a race only to drop out or quit within 10 feet of the finish line.
LIke I said though, my ED was loving everything he was saying.... But, the healthy side of me knew that it was not right.
You know, Dr. Barker really didn't "lecture" me. I, honestly, thought he was very sincere, and was commenting on "how good I looked, etc..." And, made suggestions that made me feel like a failure in my weight loss. Everytime, I have seen Dr. Barker when I have come in his office, I have never seen anyone else for all my follow up appointments its been him. He kept saying that I would be "perfect" if I lost 30 more lbs, and that we could go in and make the pouch smaller. He just said I didn't want my body to go into "starvation" mode. But, realistically I know that eating 1100 calories and working out as he said 7 days a week- 2x per day that would DEFINITELY put my body into starvation mode.... Especially since he said it didn't matter about how many calories we ate versus what he exercise-- he said that is not true. I am not sure if he is just looking at his "statistics" or what at this point.
I honestly, believe that Dr. Barker is a great surgeon and until my visit on Thursday, I had EVERY ounce of faith in him that he was looking out of my best interest. However, maybe he is just looking at stats for his success in WLS.
My team is out of my "health" and Dr. Barker is out of "skinny".... I need HEALTHY middle ground.
I walked out of the amount feeling like a complete failure-- like I let him down and that all my weight loss up to this point did not matter... It's like competiting in a race only to drop out or quit within 10 feet of the finish line.
LIke I said though, my ED was loving everything he was saying.... But, the healthy side of me knew that it was not right.
"Winning at a Losing Game"
Okay, I am nooooo expert and there are others more qualified to answer this,but i am not sure I understand the doc' thinking! I thought you needed x amount of calories to maintain weight but if you are excercising that much your calories need to go up!?
As far as the statistics thing goes I sure hope that is not what it is! God knows I ruined my doc's sttistics as far as comlications go!! he still is a huge cheerleader for me anyways!!
I hope someone can chime in and help you figure this out!!
Meggie
As far as the statistics thing goes I sure hope that is not what it is! God knows I ruined my doc's sttistics as far as comlications go!! he still is a huge cheerleader for me anyways!!
I hope someone can chime in and help you figure this out!!
Meggie
Megan
Meggie,
Thanks for replying! I know what he said about X calories in versus X calories out when working out is wrong. My trainer, counselor and nutritionist were all stunned by this and said that they were not sure what he was referring to when he said that it was not true. My trainer was pretty ticked off by this information because he had just gotten me to the point of where I was taken 'rest' days. He said that our body and muscles need to rest and that when we rest that is when they are doing their work. The calories my primary care physician and couselor were both highly upset with the information about only eating 1100 calories per day and drinking 2 protein shakes for the "carbs" and NOT to eat whole grain breads or carbs, actually. That the carbs could cause me to gain weight the further out I get.
The deal about all of this is
1) yes, the scale weight up 5lbs in a year!
2) I've worked out more, building muscles
3) clothes are SMALLER then they were a year ago
4) continuing losing inches
5) I was called an "Athlete" just the Wednesday before from my PCP.
I have not had any complications, and thankfully when I underwent surgery the first time, I was naive about ALL the complications that could come from this MAJOR surgery... But, to go back in and make my pouch smaller for 20-30lbs? And, to have my SURGEON say this...
I left stunned, defensive, pissed off, and thinking okay.. I am going to only eat 1100 calories, exercise 7 days a week 2x per day, and consider having my stomach re-stapled!! I felt like a complete failure-- felt the FATTEST ever!
Thanks for replying! I know what he said about X calories in versus X calories out when working out is wrong. My trainer, counselor and nutritionist were all stunned by this and said that they were not sure what he was referring to when he said that it was not true. My trainer was pretty ticked off by this information because he had just gotten me to the point of where I was taken 'rest' days. He said that our body and muscles need to rest and that when we rest that is when they are doing their work. The calories my primary care physician and couselor were both highly upset with the information about only eating 1100 calories per day and drinking 2 protein shakes for the "carbs" and NOT to eat whole grain breads or carbs, actually. That the carbs could cause me to gain weight the further out I get.
The deal about all of this is
1) yes, the scale weight up 5lbs in a year!
2) I've worked out more, building muscles
3) clothes are SMALLER then they were a year ago
4) continuing losing inches
5) I was called an "Athlete" just the Wednesday before from my PCP.
I have not had any complications, and thankfully when I underwent surgery the first time, I was naive about ALL the complications that could come from this MAJOR surgery... But, to go back in and make my pouch smaller for 20-30lbs? And, to have my SURGEON say this...
I left stunned, defensive, pissed off, and thinking okay.. I am going to only eat 1100 calories, exercise 7 days a week 2x per day, and consider having my stomach re-stapled!! I felt like a complete failure-- felt the FATTEST ever!
"Winning at a Losing Game"
Okay Girl ( this is said with great kindness and conern) QUIT THE STINKIN THINKIN!!! You are NOT a failure!! And you are certainly NOT fat!! Take a deep breath and think this through logically instead of emotionally and remember I can give great advice but am really bad at taking it myself!!
Meggie
Meggie
Megan
That is a side of him I have never seen. I hope I don't. I can understand how it must have made you feel. To me going to his office once a year is like going to the GYN. They will always be the office that notices every pound we gain. I am not skinny by any means but I am happy with where I am at. He suggested I set my goal at 100 pounds and that is what I have lost. But you know he also told me that our bodies know where we are suppose to be. I dont' exercise much at all and that is where he will get me. I eat "normal". I don't stress out on things like alot of people do. I did this to be normal and not to feel like I was dieting for the rest of my life. I know the foods that I need to stay away from and I do. I would have felt like you because I want to please. I want him to be happy with me. But I realized this last week, at a workshop I had to attend for work, that the only person I have any control over is me. That only I can make myself truly happy and that is what I am concentrating on. I have to quit worrying about making others happy.
I think you have done GREAT!!!!! YOu keep up the good work. I am proud of you!!!!
Some of the doc's comments are scary to me.
It reminded me when I went to this dentist and he seemed so happy to pull one of my teeth (that he had previously worked on), he said he'd pull it on a day he doesn't normally do oral surgery. I think I actually saw dollar signs on his eyeballs, LOL.
What doctor would recommend a repeated major surgery and all of the potential complications for 20-30 pounds?
That sounds really odd to me. I'm disappointed that he didn't praise you for how far you have come and how hard you are working. Not to mention a doc should be very cautious if a patient is exhibiting symptoms of an ED.
You're doing great! Try not to worry about what he said and listen to the people that really know you and care about you.
Best wishes,
Carolyn
It reminded me when I went to this dentist and he seemed so happy to pull one of my teeth (that he had previously worked on), he said he'd pull it on a day he doesn't normally do oral surgery. I think I actually saw dollar signs on his eyeballs, LOL.
What doctor would recommend a repeated major surgery and all of the potential complications for 20-30 pounds?
That sounds really odd to me. I'm disappointed that he didn't praise you for how far you have come and how hard you are working. Not to mention a doc should be very cautious if a patient is exhibiting symptoms of an ED.
You're doing great! Try not to worry about what he said and listen to the people that really know you and care about you.
Best wishes,
Carolyn
Have a great day! 
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