Griping . . . . family dinners

I HATE FAMILY DINNERS!

It's always the same thing - my mom  spends all day cooking (no, she won't let anyone else host the dinners), we sit down, 10 minutes later we are done.  My brother complains the whole time about the heat and then insists on washing all the dishes right that minute. The food she serves is always full of sugar and fat, and she gets her feelings hurt if you don't eat something. I had  my RNY over four years ago, and had been diagnosed as diabetic for about 3 years before that, and she STILL doesn't get that I should not be eating pie, cake, and baked beans full of molasses. As soon as we are finished eating, people start leaving.

I wish she'd just let us take her somewhere, or cook for her, but as long as she can stand up, that's the way it will be.

YEPPERS.....sounds like a typical holiday  lunch in my family too !!  lol

sorry hon sending u hugs

the wholr "family dinner" thing is why Tim n I host a thanksgiving potluck every year - lots of different peeps - everyone comes with the idea that this is friends - I tell people if u need aunt suzies sweet potatoes to make it thanks giving then by all means bring them, if u want to get together n bake with "the girls" (in place of sisters aunties n cusins) we will be baking the day before, we eat off paper plates, I get lots of baggie and clear the left overs into bags and pass them out so everyone has left overs -  n the table gets cleared easy and mostly right into the trash can- last year what was not disposible fit into ONE load of dishes

not sure if we had been close to family the firdt yr I would have started it but it is ONE way to hande family dinners

Yep...sounds very familiar! Neither of us have any family left but 'back then' we skipped the family dinner holidays the last 5-6 years. Every year some family members were getting more and more dysfunctional, causing problems with everyone and we would dread the day for weeks. So we finally decided we were old enough to be spending our special days the way we wanted! Ever since we've been spending those holidays with good friends who have also given up the stressful family functions.

BTDT, i HATE HATE HATE holidays for this reason. OMG there's always a dumbass thats gotta say 'whatd you mean byt THAT!" and the fight is on.  Before WLS ther ewas always a huge discussion on how much weight i had gained (and no one besides anoxeric sis is 'small').  When my grandmother was alive (*****) she insisted on thanksgiving at her house. Only we ate at 10am!!! so we would be out of there in time for her to watch the game! she always cooked a HUGE turkey.. that was awful and would make box stuffing using the turkey 'juice' (you know that greasy stuff that comes off the turkey when its cooking) 
So in my world, there is nothing worse than a 'family' holiday or OMG a family vacation!

So I guess I had better go back on the Prozac for the
wedding next weekend.
Daughter-in-law wants and agenda-Daughter is still
mad about how her sister-in-law acted at Christmas and
for the last 10 years-the Bride and Groom really just
want their friends and family to be there and
celebrate with them as they love each other so.
Families are so difficult and ours seem to get crazier and crazier.
Anita

I lost my mom 2 yrs ago to bladder cancer, and I dearly loved helping her cook.  My baby sis would sit on her lazy butt and fuss that we put too much sage in the dressing or we put milk in something that her husband wasn't going to be able to eat because he had allergies to milk.  But I will miss those dinners because Mom is gone now. 

Mom has forgotten to mention in this that it was 83 degrees in the house and 14 people were in it!  Plus Mimi and Barry (her mom and brother) are 2 of the most biggoted people out there and Barry is an ass on top of that.

Then Mimi wants to feed Michael loads of sugar every time and gets mad at me when I won't allow it.

Sounds like you, the kids and Lynne should start your OWN tradition and do your own dinner.  Life is too short to let others ruin your day!

I'm with you and I feel your pain.  I thought all of that would go away a few years ago when mom died.  But, no, my eldest sister feels compelled to carry on the family dinners.  Which would be great except her husband is an ass and they bicker back and forth the whole time we're together.  My husband's family is even worse.  Neither of his sisters cooks so it's all on me and the other 2 brother's wives.  Meanwhile one of the sisters (who doesn't cook) shows up with 5 or 6 extra kids because her kids always want to bring someone.  The other sister just sits and mopes because her life is screwed up and she doesn't have a family.   Wah-wah-wah!  This is not my idea of a good time. 

After last year's fiasco, I officially resigned from future Thanksgiving meals.  I have informed both my family and his that we are no longer participating in Thanksgiving.  We will not attend and we will not host any further Thanksgiving festivities.  As a matter of fact, we've decided that Thanksgiving will be the perfect time for a vacation.  We spend enough family time with all of them in December.  We don't need to start in November. 

I hope you find a solution.  My advice is just let her get her feelings hurt.  Take something that you can eat and eat it.  She'll get over it, or maybe she won't, but you're in charge of you and your own feelings, not hers.

I'll just close this by asking - What is it with mothers anyway?!