kids

So I'm sure most of you know from my mom's posts but I am a single mother of 3.  I want to know if there are any others out there as it is so frustrating most days when they do certain things.....

The 2 youngest go to Mother's Day Out at my mom's church, because the 1st day they were home from school they were caught building a fire outside my back door (by about a foot) and tossing batteries in it for fun.   Well I don't want mom to have alot of stress with them fighting or doing things they are not suppossed to.  SO I set a rule that they get 1 warning on items they are not allowed to do and then the next step will be coming to my office for the rest of the summer and doing nothing but reading and book reports.

Both have already had the 1st warning within the first 2 days at MDO and today Michael (who is ADHD and BiPolar) decided to beg money from the teachers to buy a soda....which he is not allowed to have anyways!!

So it is the start of day 7 at MDO and now he is here doing book reports for the remainder of the sumer.

Very frustrating and irritating and it is only because I have such a great boss that I am even able to do this.   I keep trying to win the lottery because then I would be home but also I put them in summer day camps that are stricter than MDO and will keep them busy throughout the day. {{SIGH}}

Okay that is all my rant for today.....thanks for listening.

Miranda:
While my 3 boys are grown (29,19, and 18) I can remember struggling w/ figuring out how to keep them occupied in the summer when I was a single mother. Had to find something that I could afford and that they would be willing to go to. While it was a long time ago, I did figure out that Mother's Day out programs tended to be too sedate for the two who have ADHD (and one of those two has PTSD along w/ the ADHD)

So - I had to find affordable programs that used up some of their energy. Have you pondered YMCA or something like that?

Hang in there - they do grow up and become great adults (usually).

The local YMCA only has programs for up to 12 years old - these 3 are 13, 14 and 15. They are too old for babysitters and too young to work - not that any of them could hold down a job!

While ultimately it IS Michael's fault for asking for the money - what was the teacher thinking, loaning money for a coke at 7:30 a.m.? If it had been lunch time I might understand, but 7:30 in the MORNING? Also, this teacher knows all about his sugar sensitivity, and is only a hall away from me - WHY didn't she ask me first?

Oh, by the way - I'm Miranda's mom LOL.

You know - in the class I had to take on Problems of Adolescents in the Spring, one of the suggestions that was made to reduce juvenile delinquency was to create MORE summer programs for the older children. Studies have shown that the younger adolescents (the age of your children/grandchildren) are in need of care more in the summer then the younger children around the ages of 8 to 11). I have to agree w/ the studies!!!

Probably too late for this summer, but I know in Austin - there are several charter schools which do summer programs that involve both team building activities (like Rope courses,, challenge courses, physical activities, and scholarstic activities. The participants do not have to be enrolled in the school to participate in the summer program.

What really makes me crazy is that when my girls were young, I could trust them to stay at home in the summer. I think they were probably 12 and 8 the first year they were alone. Granted, my husband worked rotating shifts, so frequently he was either at home in the morning, came home in the early afternoon, or was there asleep (but accessible in case of any emergency). Also, the woman next door was usually at home during the day.

I would leave them a list of chores to do, and after those were done, they were allowed to play in the neighborhood. They had to check in with me, and couldn't go to another person's house without letting me know first. But other than a few small incidents (well, there WAS the time Miranda decided to juggle knives) they were fine during the day.

Not these three. Especially the two youngest - they have NO respect for rules.

Just so you know - Miranda did NOT raise these kids - she got them already baked. They are my late brother's kids, and apparently their parents taught them NOTHING except disrespect.

lynn I hear you - I am paying my friends 15 yo daughter to babysit and taking my 15yo son either with me or he walks to the library while I am gone each day- he is responsible but not for babysitting for 3 or 4 awake hours -

was at a parenting class last night and the thing they were talking about was loving consistancy and it sounds like your daughter is doing that - she set the limits - one warming at mdo and is following though

sending good wishes and thought to you both/all

I need that class...Problems of Adolescents ....I have a tough boy here in my home care  that is 13, tourettes, add, etc. There are not enough programs for that age around....wish I could handle the teen age...the 13 yr old is here only because of his special needs...otherwise they are out at 12.....we need more community centers....

I agree w/ you 100% - there is a false conception that once a child reaches the age of 12 - they don't need any assistance programs - until they are 17 or 18 and are about to (or have) dropped out of school.
We need to take some of this vast amount of stimulus money and put it into programs for the youth who are most at risk - those who are 13 to 15 years of age.
Anne

I would love a more active program but part of the problem is when there are some they start at 9 or 10am and are done in the mid afternoon.  Since I work full-time and on surgery days have to be there at 7am it makes things pretty impossible. :(

I do follow through on my "threats" which they know and they will even admit sometimes they just wanted to see if I would.  It makes no sense as I lay down the rules carefully....they are old enough to understand.

Another crazy thing about the Coke incident was he had to WORK AT IT!  He had just gotten his last 2 weeks allowance; so first he tried to break the $20 with mom, then went to the teacher and asked her; then just asked for a loan.  SO he had plenty of time to think it through.  Might have been less upset if he had at least purchased a Diet.

You sound like you have your hands full with those three! I have three kids not as young as yours but still my twin girls keep me busy and so does thier 12 year old brother.  I also teach junior high school so I know the age you are dealing with. Maybe after your long day at mothers day out you could go to the park or just an open field and play kick ball or throw the football around or something like that.  I know when the kids have down time at school they love to go outside and play sports or even just play on the play ground! Believe it or not junior high kids love to go to the park and play! Maybe at the MDO they can interact with the younger kids and read to them or play games with them outside. Also maybe they could work there and earn privledges instead of money or work for thier allowance.  One thing I have learned is that idle time gets kids in trouble. And you are right as long as you follow through with your threats you are definetly on the right track! It doesn't matter what you do so long as you do what you say you are going to do...good or bad.

These are all just ideas and I hope you get even one idea that helps. Good teachers steal ideas from other teachers and tweak them to thier needs.

Good luck!
Tonya