4 weeks out and feeling blah..

Hi..

I'm 4 weeks post op today, and the roller coaster ride continues.

I've lost a total of  35lbs since I started.  Great I know.

My problem is that I'm feeling like I'll never feel "normal" again.  I know, I know, my new life will have a new normal, but I'm still feeling very out there and alone and definetely having more of those "Why did I do this to myself"  moments. 

I'm managing my protein and my water everyday.  I'm glad for that.  The issue is this, the little that I am eating just doesn't taste good, and I know I'm not eating enough. Ironic, right?

I usually have about 3 tablespoons of cottege cheese a day, and usually a string cheese too.

I alternate also with having some ricotta with marinara and cheese, or with having some tuna.

I've tried baked fish and chicken that has been cut so small our 3 boys are really looking at me like I've lost my mind.  The trouble with the fish and chicken is that after about 6 or 7 bites it feels like it's stuck in my throat.  I know it's not going to choke me or anything, but I have to wait a couple of minutes before it goes on down.  Is this normal?

Nothing really sounds good to me to eat, I have to just muster the energy and courage to eat anything.  My poor husband is there ready and willing everyday to make me whatever I want, but nothing sounds good. 

I had a bit of chicken pot pie yesterday, just the broth and the chicken and it was ok, but it was just ok. 

What I'm wondering about is what happens in 2 weeks, when I'm offically ready to eat anything I want.  What is going to happen to me in the next 2 weeks that will make my appetite swing into gear, and what is going on with the stuck in the throat feeling I'm having?

I see all sorts of recipes for things, some sound good, some not, but really, when will I start to feel like I'm not tied to a cup of liquid protein all hours of the day? 

I don't know if I'm putting too much pressure on myself to get everything in every day, (I like to drink my protein before I go to work in the mornings, and I'm wondering if that isn't too much on my stomach too early in the day.

I'm also not really loving the shakes.. now that I can add fruit to them it is better, but I'm getting tired of strawberry every day.  I'm not a coffee drinker, so coffee flavors are out.  I've also tried the isopures and frankly, the bottom of my shoe has got to taste better than them.

At this point it feels like this will be my life everyday for the rest of my life.  That I'll never have a taste for something good, never be able to eat anything good, or be able to get it down.

HELP!!!!

Monica

Monica,

If I remember (it's been almost a year for me) but it seems like it took a good 6-8 weeks before my taste buds came back to normal.  You will get there, too, and soon everything will taste wonderful again and you will be able to eat more and hopefully will be able to scrap the protein shakes. 

Jodie

First off this is just my opinion's and you have to do what your doctor tells you to do.
So, here goes. I am  5 1/2 yrs out. Today unfortunately I can eat ANYTHING. What you are going through today is not going to be the rest of your life. It is just today. You might even look back and say " I wish nothing tasted good and I really wish I had to force myself to eat" I think just about everyone sat down and asked themselves "What have I done?" That is normal. My rough week was the 3rd week. I was so depressed. Not suicidal. But, down as low as I have ever been in my life. I did feel alone. You will go through the loss of your best friend of food period. I actually started crying at a restaurant when I was only a few weeks out because I could not eat what everyone else was eating. You still have a lot of anesthesia in you. Don't put so much pressure on your self. Stay focused. But, don't concentrate solely on what you can and can't eat.  I don't know anyone who has starved to death because they did not get enought food in eventually. I'm sure you doctor has guidelines for you. Talk to them. Tell them what you are feeling. But, most important, don't feel like you are alone... Because you aren't. You have the board. That is a huge sign you are going in the right direction..  A few months from now, I will be saying "Their is skinny minnie.. and look how far she has come.. Hang in there...

I agree with Kathy completely. You are making a huge adjustment from one normal to another sort of normal. Once I realized that I was so upset with what I had "done" to myself because I had limited my access to my favorite coping mechanism, which was food, it became a little easier to accept the new normal that was/is emerging for me.

I promise, the first time you can pull something out of the back of your closet and wear it without having to worry about whether you'll split the seams if you sit down, the first time you can heft the 5 gallon water bottle onto the cooler, or when you haul in the cat litter into the house after you've been to the store, you will have a moment when you realize that some sort of physical activity you've performed for years without thinking about how you've managed to get it done because you were too bust huffing and puffing,  this will all be worth it!

 

Thank you both for your words of wisdom and advice.  I know your words are right and true and that one day I will look back and think "what was I worried for?"..

When we first met my Dr. he told us to look at this like any other huge life occasion.. marriage, children..  I have said before that well, 20 years later and we're still married.. and the baby we brought home from the hospital almost 9 years ago is still here and moving around, so we must have done something right with him.  We didn't know what we were doing..

I guess I just like to know a date and time when I'll feel better.. (Dreaming I know!!)..

I will call my Dr's office today. 

Oh, do you both still drink the protein every day or do you get enough from regular food??

Thanks!
Monica

Dr. Yu is pretty adamant that his patients should be getting their protein from food and not the shakes, and I was pretty much done with liquid protein about six weeks after my surgery. Giving up the shakes and getting onto solid foods also gave my outlook a bit of a boost, as the novelty of getting everything I needed from a protein shake wore off really quickly. I will occasionally have a supplement now and then, (days when I walk out of the house without my lunch) but with the selection of deli meats and cheeses that are available now, I don't feel terribly deprived at all. Just remember to take it slow and you will do fine!

I am 2 yrs out and still drink a protein daily. It is habit and I know that no matter what happens during the day I have 1/2 my protein in!! It is my insurance policy!

There is no set date when you will feel better, but one day you will realise "Hwy, I have felt
Meggie

 

I am 2 years out and still have those days.  I went out to eat with my mom on Friday and could barely eat.  The next night we cooked steak on the grill and I ate with no problem.  In the future you will see that not being able to eat at times is a good thing.  It keeps me from over eating.  Even at a month out though your body is still healing.  It is having to adjust to this new you.  It doesn't like it at all.  But you will win over your body.   I use to get mad because my food would be cold before I could even enjoy a few bites.  I too got very depressed during the first few months.  My daughter still tells me that I have become so cranky since having surgery.  It has to do with hormones is what I am told.

As far as shakes have you tried the protein bullets??  During my first few months I would mix the fruit punch flavored bullets with SF Hawaiian punch.  That was how I got in my protein.  It took me forever to find a protein shake I liked.  Now I use Maximum Protein.  It is really good.  I don't do shakes too often.  My surgeon says at this point I should eat my calories and not drink them unless I just have to.

I promise you things will get better.  There will be good days and bad days.  Once you start seeing the new you in the mirror and start buy smaller sizes it will all be worth it.  I know personally I spent my whole life living for my next meal and eating all the time.  Now food has taken a back burner to my life.  It is secondary to my living.  Like many have said before me "I eat to live not live to eat"

You are doing a great job.  Keep it up.  Keep coming here for support.

First off, TAKE A DEEP BREATHE!!!!! This is so normal! We all go through it for different lengths of time  and in different ways. I did liquids and mush for most of the first year due to my sensitivity and problems. But remember I am an exception! As someone else said you are adjusting to a new normal!!

Chicken can be hard for some, it is not how small your bite is or how much you chew but how moist it is! Melt a little cheese or put some marinara sauce on it! Try chicken salad, salmon salad egg salad and throw some intersting seasoning in it. Try making omletes great protein! Add a little meat and cheese or some cream cheese. when you whip theggs for an omlete or scrambled eggs add a little fat free sour cream to moisten them!
just take it day to day. You wont be able to eat "any thing " in a few weeks. Trust me! But you will be able to eat different and more solid food! Just take it slow and easy when trying new things and try to do it at home just in case! Each day will be a new and different experience!

hang in there  and hang in here with us. We are here for you!!

Meggie

I had RNY 21 days ago and was finding it hard to get my protein in until my dr. told me to go to Taco Bell and get their beans and cheese.  They taste so good and are high in protein.  You will feel like you are cheating but you aren't.  I made 2 meals out of that little .89 cent cup of beans and cheese. 
Also try mixing tuna, boiled egg, miracle whip light, and a little relish.  It is high in protein, low in fat, and gives you what you need.  I am still drinking 1 protein shake daily, but I also got some unflavored protein powder to mix in different foods just in case.
When I get a full feeling it is like I can't swallow anymore also.  Then I get a pain between my breasts, and then I start to burp.  That is my full signal.  Some people hiccup I have heard. 

Good Luck to you,
DeborahL.