OT: Check this...OUR NEW AIRLINE!!!

OK, so I don't post much, mainly due to the fact that I can NEVER get on my computer because my wife is permanently affixed to the keyboard 

BUT, I saw this and wanted to share...Kris and I had decided we are gonna start our own airline for people over the "190" lb average...puhleeze....and buy 15 to 20 planes with bigger seats and more legroom.  Is it REALLY necessary to put 180 people in a space meant for 100?  Umm, the fire marshall wont allow it in a bar?  So WHY would they allow it in a metal tube hurtling through the air at 400 mph?  

So, what we propose is an airline called "HEAVY TURBULENCE"  We'll have flight attendants who have had WLS.  Gina, Q, Liz, Tracy, Jenn, Loralea..etc.  John Seale can be the in flight Emcee...We'll serve only healthy snacks (if any) and the sponsors will be all WLS docs and specialists!  "Today's flight to Baltimore is brought to you by Dr. _______"  The in flight movies will be titles like "The Thin Man", "Run Fat boy Run", "Thinner", "Fat Man and Little Boy", "The Thin Red Line", and for our TV audience, "Jake and the Fat Man", "What NOT to Wear", "The Biggest Loser", and any episode of "Big Medicine" with THE Ramon!!!  And just for Liz, we'll paint the planes to look like a giant Xanax!  OK, I HAD to...I just did!  

And if you get on our plane and look like you haven't eaten in a month (you skinny little anorexic Hollywood people)....you will be required to eat an entire Sausage and Cheese Pizza Hut Deep Dish Pizza and NOT throw it up before we taxi down the tarmac for takeoff...We will then weigh your skinny little ass and if you're still under 100lbs, we're stickin you in the cargo hold with the rest of the lightweight luggage...

The pilot will point out not historical landmarks along the way, but rather the best places to get a good piece of sugar fee pie, a great glass of tea or coffee, or the best salad bar in the country! 

Practice in your ultra low, coolest sounding, smooooth voice: "Ladies and Gentleman, if you will look out the port side window...port Liz...LEFT LIZ....thaaat's better....you may see the Grand Canyon.  But what is even better is to the left is the world largest and state's healthiest salad bar at the Sizzler in Flagstaff!"    OOOOOOOOOO...AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.  See? 

All the pilots and staff would wear "Biggest Loser" colored T shirts...

AND the BIGGEST, HUGEST (I don't even know if it's a word, but I'm putting it dammit) DIFFERENCE?

BATHROOMS THAT DON'T SAY "SALTINE CRACKERS" ON THEM!!  I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not particularly fond of going in and leaving the door open so my legs can stick out the door!!  And if anyone's had a protein shake...you want NUTHIN to do with THAT!!  

Anyway...Thought I would just post this.. for fun....

giggle giggle

I'm Chris...Fly Me. 

Here's the link..

http://www.cnn.com/2009/TRAVEL/06/26/obese.passengers.airlines/index.html

OH WOW!!!!

Can I please please wear some of the great outfits like the flight attendents for Braniff used to wear????  Like the space outfits with the cool helmets??

I think I just aged myself....

OH YEAH ONE MORE THING I FORGOT!!!

If ANYONE is caught stealing on our plane, your ass will be thrown OUT at 35 thousand feet.

Just sayin. 

Oh, you KNEW it was comin.

Without a parachute!

Que...CRAP...stop showing OUR age...and don't forget our go go boots!!

Hmmm, Im new here but I think I wanna be a flight attendent, too! This ride sounds like fun!!!!!

CHRIS...since I'm the...ummm...most experienced...can I be the HEAD flight attendant?...you know..the boss?

Tell you what...I'll let you, Q, Kris, and the rest of the ladies fight it out....

Gentleman, step right up, I have Bud Lite and ringside seats for all to attend our first annual OH "Heavy Turbulance Airline" CATFIGHT!!

Are you gonna have little fresh air dispenser that spray febreeze? You know a lot of us are kinda gaseous!! I would love to be the safety girl who shows how to use seatbelts and emergency equipment!! I always wanted to be a skyhigh hostess!!

Also Thank you for making the minimum weight 100lbs-I'll never be there so I don't have to worry!!!

Meggie

Ya'll can be the flight attendants ...... after seeing two grown men almost come to blows over the overhead bin space yesterday, I want to be the luggage police!  Two carry-ons and one WILL go under the seat in front of you I don't care how long your freaking legs are!  LOL  

Oh and if it's too heavy for YOU to lift it sister, it ain't a carry-on no more ..... bag tags, please.  You may pick up your bag at your final destination.