Struggling to NOT be defined by WLS

I'm in complete agreement about finding stuff to do that does not involve TMB or Facebook.  That's what I've spent the last couple of weeks doing and I plan to continue until I find it.  I've spent more time online today than I am happy with so I'm off to go outside now & find something else to do.  I, too, am tired of my life being insde this computer box.  It makes me cranky & irritable which is why I'm going to the park and walking the dog.

Good for you!  Stop at SBux and grab a coffee :)

This is the one thing I am so afraid of! I do not want my life consumed by this forever! After losing 90lbs at WW I just quit because I was so tired of being consumed by food....the planning, the buying, the preparations, etc....to the point I didn't enjoy any food at all. And that didn't include the added attention that will be needed for vitamins and all they entail. I'm fully prepared to concentrate all my attention and efforts on this WLS for the next couple of years until it gets to be second nature. But after that, I want a life, dammit! LOL! I want it all to get to the point that it's all just routine that can be done as simply as getting dressed then not dwelled on for the rest of the day.

Reading the responses here makes me realize I have 2 blessings. 1 is a husband who is more than supportive, I swear you'd think sometimes he's having this surgery! And 2 is I have another 'life' as an online business owner that keeps me busy. I also do lots of sewing and embroidery for myself and friends as a daily hobby. Oh, and I can't forget the scuba diving. I know the protein/water/vitamin/labs thing will always have to be a priority but I'm really hoping there is that 'routine phase' somewhere down the line where I can have the rest of my life closer to priority status!

Julie mentioned not many people knowing about her WLS. I didn't think about it in regards to this but I'm glad now I haven't told many people. Her reasoning makes lots of sense. I'm just in my 4th month of dieting and already the close friends start all our conversations with how the whole WLS thing is coming along. I know they mean well and I'm so glad to have their support but sheesh.....let's talk about something else already!

I do think that's one reason why some of the longer-term post-ops don't spend lots of time here. But like others have said, if you get too removed from it, you can lose focus and forget vitamins and eat poorly.

Since much of my work life revolves around WLS, too, I get burned out easily and have to back off some.

In the beginning it's such a huge life change, and so exciting, it really can be all-consuming. But I also have found I need to have other interests and friends.

So do try different things and find several passions!!

Jeri,

I want to share my take on this.... I feel like my life has always been consumed with weight, weight loss, food, and etc ever since I was 6 years old. I live in a world of "black and white" & "all or nothing" thinking. I have to have "rules".... I feel like I am living a life that someone has had control over. Let me explain... I go to work and I do for everyone else, I am a juvenile probation officer working with juveniles who have a mental health dx and I work in their homes, provide skills training, etc.. Love my job!! I feel it as rewarding, and when something goes well for my kids and their families, I feel EXCITEMENT and ACHIEVEMENT!! I take care of my grandmother, after my grandfather passed away 1 year ago, unexpectedly. So, I go to work, come home and take care of her.... I, too, am a home body, I enjoy being at home. However,  if I am "not" busy, I contstantly think what am I eating, not eating, drinking, vitamins, "weight loss" am I consider a success or not. It's like EVERYONE knows... I find time doing things for myself such as getting on the OH board, FB, myspace, etc... I workout and LOVE it. That is "me" time. However, with all of this said... I to have felt like I have lost who I was since "post op". I do feel like I was a well-rounded person before WLS. And, thought that having the WLS would make me EVEN more well rounded... But, it has not-- in fact, it as made me question everything I was before to now.

So, I am trying to find a "balance"... And it might not be 50/50 or even 33/33/33... Depending on what all I have to do. I have come up with my survival kit for days that I am feeling "blah" or having those negative messages playing over and over in my head. The survival kit is where I do something for me that I don't get to judge myself, or my "wls" or my journey-- nothing..

Some examples on my list:

1) call a friend and talk about their day (not focused on me or my "head" messages

2) get a pedicure/manicure (one or both)

3) window shopping

4) Read a good book

5) Listen to a collection of uplifting songs that I made

6) go to the park

Those are just some examples-- and during this time I can't focus on ANYTHING and CAN'T judge myself or thoughts or feeings.. It's somthing that makes me happy and "feel" good moment.

Jeri,
This might not even help you out or maybe it will... But, I KNOW EXACTLY where you are right now.. I struggle!!

I am learning how to accept myself and not let other define me by saying "the old Jessica" and the "new Jessica"... I got my WLS after working my new job with the county for one year- so they have been on my WLS journey with me for 2 years and new me pre-op... So, sometimes, I hear "old" and "new" Jessica-- I AM JESSICA regardless of my weight. And, I have to understand that.

Jessica

I think I understand what you mean.  I have also said to a friend that I did not want my life defined by my WLS.  I do track my meds and water and vitamins but it is not something I advertise.  Very few people outside the boards. know I have had this surgery.  That is not because I am ashamed of WLS its because I don't want that to be the only topic of conversation I have with people.  I just want to be me the same as anyone else who walks this Earth.  I am so  grateful for this surgery, for the support and especially the education I received from OH.  I just keep this part of my life separate from the life I lead in my church, my neighborhood and with my non WLS friends.  I love the get togethers I have had with WLS friends as much, maybe even more than get togethers with non WLS friends, I have just kept them separate.