Struggling to NOT be defined by WLS

Okay so this part of the reason I took a break from both TMB and Facebook.  I feel like ever since I had RNY my life has been consumed by my WLS.  All I think about is what I eat, how much water have I had today, did I take my vitamins and did I get enough protein.  I realize this is a lifelong committment--that is not my issue.  My issue is I feel like that is all there is to me right now & that frustrates me.  I feel like I was a more well-rounded person pre-op and that I have lost that person. 

Becky talks about finding her passion--maybe that is what I'm saying about myself as well.  I need to once again find my passion and I'm 100% sure it's NOT about WLS.  Needed to vent this out & am interested in hearing what y'all think.  Do you struggle with this as well?

 

I'm with you Jerri... :)

Jeri - honestly you need to get OUT!  Out of the house - many of us expressed concern when you decided to work from home.  I've been home since February and am about to jump off the deep end.  Thankfully I have a 4pm flight today to start a new project tomorrow.

With no family at home, I would imagine you don't have much contact with anyone, except maybe the HEB, Lowe's and WalMart checkers! LOL

Seriously, someone told me that life doesn't come knocking on the front door - you have to go find it.

Hope this didn't come off as rude, but I just don't know how anyone can be so isolated all the time and be happy.

I don't take it as rude at all.  We're just different people.  I like being at home and love my life.  I don't feel isolated at all...I get out and about & more than just Walmart or HEB.  I'm a homebody and I'm happy being here.  When I'm not I leave.  I'm not sure what I posted about has anything to do with that but maybe I'm wrong & just not seeing it.

 

Jeri - I guess because you referenced Becky finding her passion I ASSumed you were trying to find your passion too.  If being home makes you happy, then so be it. 

We definitely are different people.  I am no longer a home body - I love to go, go, go and go ... maybe that's my passion! LOL

Jeri, I'm not sure exactly where to begin on this one.  I do understand how you are so consumed with WLS, choices, vitamins, water, yada yada yada.  I honestly though do not know how to tell you to change that because it consumes my life still at 4 years out and I'm trying to figure out how to let some of it go. 

I don't know if it's possible because when I don't think WLS I don't take care of myself properly.  I see many that go on living and wonder if I'll ever reach that spot.  I can look at my recent labs and tell that I HAVE to think WLS.  When you see things drop and I feel exhausted because of it then I cannot very well "forget" I had WLS and I have to do certain things to feel good. 

I do believe you should get out and make some friends though that haven't had WLS.   Are there any singles groups in your area or church that have get togethers? 

I'm looking forward to this summer getting out enjoying the sun, camping, fishing, boating or whatever to get myself out and about enjoying family and friends.

Yeah I agree.  I've tried a couple of churches but need to venture out & try more.  Seems finding a church home is not as easy as one would think.  I think with my daughter, son-in-law & grandchildren in VA now I'm going through the empty nest thing again, too.  I'm definately a mommy & a grandma.

 I know I need to keep focusing on the water, vitamins, etc...I would just like to not feel comsumed by it all every second I'm awake & no matter where I am or what I'm doing.

That's one reason that I'm glad I've never shared my WLS with many people in my life. Outside of OH, there's a handful of people that know I had surgery. So, when I'm interacting with anyone else in my life WLS isn't a thought or a topic. Do I make sure I'm providing myself with proper nutrition and vitamins? Absolutely, but because it's not a conversation point with most people, I've found that it can't consume me.

jeri,

 Jodi is spot on and so is Dana.  And they are talking to me too. Let explain my take on it.

Yes, I was and still am at a point of  - I am so damn tired of filling water bottles for work, and filling vitamin boxes for work and eating protein first.  But it is a matter of routine now and i know I must do this - just like if I had cancer or there were any other special cir****tance that made me do this.  I hate hate hate planning my lunch and breakfast every day and try to get variety.  BUT, I do it. Is that all there is to me?  Right now possibly.   And it will be so as long as I sit in the dern apartment day and night and think my life revolves around the people that live in my computer on FB and TMB.  I have some activities at church but they revolve around Emma and her confirmation.  that is over now and she will be leaving for most of the summer.

So how does this relate to the water, vitamins, protein dilemma? Well, this place I live in is where I need to sleep and prepare for my life and plan my vitamins and protein and water.  I have discovered that if I want to NOT think about it endlessly, I have to get out of this rectangle called "home'.  When I am here I am planning for food to cook, I am filtering water to take to work, I am packing vitamins, and hiding from what real life is and waiting for my passion to come knocking on my door, or emailing me on here.  There has to be more to my life.

I have had the most boring long long weekend because I have not ventured out to the real world.  What did I do this weekend?  I cooked and cooked and cleaned and slept and anything I could to NOT think about all those folks out enjoying the world.  right now, get this, I am cleaning out the shredder blades so I can use it again to shred a year's worth of bills. On a holiday from work!  this is nuts. I'm also spending alot of time thinking about food and I shouldn't be.

So, long long story short... I see and feel what you do.  But I know that it will not change until I get off my butt and get out there.  I also know that surrounding myself with NON WLSers is a great way to feel 'normal'.  Those folks that never knew about my surgery and my food requirements.  It is a welcome relief and something I must spend more time doing.

this does not mean declaring something like "I am going to become a skydiver or a karaoke queen or whatever.".. it just means trying something new.  And I know from the past 7 months that I have been pretty miserable, but I also have been hiding out.  So it's my own fault.  I AM going to work very hard this summer to NOT be in this 'box' and find something ELSE to do.  I want to find some dancing lessons somewhere; heck I might even take a night job.. there are some very interesting people in this town in the summer.

Now, 2 pages later,   what you feel is very normal at your point post op; but I want you to know that it will stay with you, like it did/does me, unless you (and I) find another focus.

Make sense?  Okay.. now I must go outside!

Hugs,

Becky and Jeri, in a sense I can be the same way......when I'm not at work I tend to want to stay in the house with the excuse "I need to clean house" being the major issue.  I could clean house 24/7/365 and there would still be SOMETHING that needs to be done. 

I do stay busy during the week with work, whatever sport the boys are doing, cleaning, ect.  BUT, what I'm not doing is "finding myself".  I need to find something that keeps me busy, happy, and focused on fun.  Reading both of your replies, we all need to get outside and enjoy life.  Find a friend to walk, we can all do that.  Grab a chair, book, radio and soak up some lovely sun, it's better than "sitting in the house".  Find a neighbor to drink coffee with, there are options for each of us, WE have to FIND them. 

I'm going to make this happen, I'll start by getting my artisic juices flowing again.  I have several hundred dollars worth of mosiac tiles, glasses, plates and such in our outside storage calling my name....so it's time to start there; in the words of you sweet Becky "It's time to find that Passion".

Happiness is at our fingertips, I tend to put myself last and worry about everyone else and that isn't right.  I need my happiness too, so I have to find it somehow, happiness isn't going to find me.

Hugs,