possible new passion - opinions needed AND welcomed

So lots of  you know I was adopted.  My life with my parents has been so seemless in that I really have to remind myself that I am adopted.  I have had an occasional twinge over the years to maybe look and see what I can find out about the humans that gave me life. 

Since the new show 'the locator' has come on, my curiousity has peaked a bit again.  But now  the one person that really would like more answer is Emma.  And apparently she has talked about it more than I ever knew with my parents.

Today at lunch I was telling my dad about the show and how some people bring together their adoptive and birth parents when they find each other.  My dad said, "well you know Emma has been asking us alot about what we know and we just don't know anything.  She is interested for herself and wants to know what other family she has".  I think this was prompted more with the close call with my Mom's stroke.   Now Emma watched the show all day Saturday and she really is pushing to see what I will do.

So when I mentioned the show my dad reminded me that he and Mom would always support me and my brother if we wanted to look and they would help in any way possible.  This really blows me away. 

My reason to ever do this honestly is for medical reasons.  I have been asked to be in several long term tests for PCOS but could not since I did not have access to my birth parents blood and health history.  The other reason for the health would be how predisposed are Emm and I to cancer or heart disease or any other problem.   

Of course, the curiousity of knowing the hows and whys would intrigue me.  But I also have this protective side of me that does not want to be overwhelmed with someone that might want to completely take over my life.  But it's a risk I might need to take.

So, anyone adopted or in a situation similar?  Or how would you feel if someone contacted you saying you were a long lost sister or cousin?
this is nothing I will do tomorrow but it's more on my mind now than ever. 

And I promise to respect every opinion no matter the answer..

Becky, having been in the "baby business" a long time (30+years), I KNOW that the hardest decision a mother ever has to make is the decision to put a baby up for adoption.  The EASY way out is to keep a baby.  Only truly selfless people have the ability to look at the "big picture" and do what's right for an infant.  So with that being said, I would bet that your birth mother would welcome you looking for her.  I promise you, not a "birthday" of yours goes by that she doesn't wish she could talk to you and know how you're doing.  Who knows, she might of already been looking for you.  Wanting to find your birth parents takes NOTHING away from the wonderful parents who raised you. 

I love the show the Locator too and that might be someplace to start but you have to have some information for them to go on.  It would certainly keep you busy and give you a new passion in life to begin the search and hopefully it will lead somewhere wonderful.  What have you got to lose? 

How true Steph.  I bet the woman that birthed Becky thinks about her allot.  It was very unselfish person to do that, wanting what is best for a child.  I'd bet she would be happy to know that Becky has grown up to be an amazing woman and mother.

awww, you make me cry.. of course.

But you are right, again.  I know my birth mother thinks of me, being that I was a c-section with her scar.  And I know her mental scars are far deeper.  But she saved my life and I am forever grateful for that.  I remember when I brought Emma home and I was holding her on my lap and I just started bawling and said, "how could anyone give a child away?".  But then I know it was the  best thing she ever did.

I have had a locator find me 10 years ago.  It was days before the fire and I was just overwhelmed with it all. Then after the fire, I just pushed it all aside like it never happened.  She told me that my mom did want to find me.  But she also said my birth father was 51 when I was born.  Not likely that he is around. 

I won't jump into anything too quickly.  But it's worth pursuing a bit just to see what might happen.

Thanks for what YOU do to help those girls make that choice.

Ok, I've got to tell you that I gave a child up for adoption in 1982.  I'm VERY conflicted here.  On the one hand, I'd love to meet my daughter and tell her that I love her very much, and you're right, there isn't a birthday that goes by that I don't think of her and wonder what she's like, do I have grandchildren, how is she doing now.  But I'm not going to try to locate her because I'm the one that gave her up and I'm not going to intrude in her life.  I'm leaving it up to her.  If she wants to find me, then she can. 

Plus, I'm not really proud of my financial situation right now, do I really want her to see me living in this crappy little house, crammed in here with my sister?  I don't know, sometimes you should just let sleeping dogs lie. 

This is a truly personal decision that I think you've already made up your mind about. Do you really need our justification to do something that you know you're going to do?  I love you and support you in whatever you do.

This is a truly personal decision that I think you've already made up your mind about. Do you really need our justification to do something that you know you're going to do? 

First, let me clarify your statement above.  I have not already made up my mind on what I will do.  I am also not looking for justification for what I may or may NOT do.  I am simply looking for exactly what I got.  Opinions, stories, viewpoints, different perspectives from every possible family member affected.  This has been a wonderful amount of information for me to simply read, reread, contemplate and then set aside for a while.

Second - I can never thank you enough for your unselfish sacrifice that you made to give your daughter the best life she can have.  I guarantee that it wouldn't matter to her if you lived in a hole, she is just grateful that your heart was strong enough to give her life.

Thank you and I promise, IF there is any decision made, you will be included.

I love you too.

Becky, I'm not in your situation but I think if I were I'd be like you....I'd want to know for health reasons.  It doesn't mean you or I for that matter wouldn't continue to love my REAL mother and father at all.

I have a coworker going through the same thing right now.  She's got some health issues that she is dealing with and doesn't have any idea if her birth mother or father had some of the same issues.  When she's talked to her medical team she cannot tell them anything because she knows nothing.

Whatever you decide to do, I think it honorable of your parents to support you.  Sometimes it's scary for them also. 

Just know that I'm here for you if/when you decide to or not to find out.  If I can be there for you I will be there.

Hugs,

dana,

I never realized how important those health records could be and I know now that records like that are much more open.  That is vital information to anyone.

I know that my parents are secure in that we would never leave each other.  My dad said that when they went in front of the judge each time, he told them "people that give birth to kids can raise them until they are 18 and let them go.  YOUR job is for life- no matter how old this child is, he/she is your responsiblity".  That judge would be very proud of my parents.

It's funny, the last time I was in New Orleans I tried to find the Methodist home that I was adopted from but it's long gone.  When Katrina came, I wondered again what effect, if any, it had on them.

I think no matter how secure we are in ourselves there is always those pieces of the puzzle that are missing.

Love you much for your support honey!  You are my cajun sister!  (maybe really!! )

I do believe you are my cajun sister, along with Terry Ann.  There's that love for each other that is unmistakable. 

well I was thinking biologically!  okay, that's just too bizarre!