Leaving TMB

jwinrrtx
on 5/25/09 4:35 am - Round Rock, TX
This has ceased to become a place of support for me.  This has become a place where I have shared too much of my life so when I reach out it comes back to bite me.  Where when I post something I then kick myself in the ass for posting anything.  Honestly I blame no one but me.  I need a life outside of this board and away from people who do not know but but think they need to tell me how I should be living my life.  Yes I'm angry...I don't know at who but I am.  Thanks for all the help you gave me way back when.  I wish this were the same board as back in those days but it's not.
Kathy B.
on 5/25/09 5:05 am - TX
You get out of this board what you put into it. You should take what you want and leave the rest.  If you put something out there that you don't want people to see, then you try to think before you post something again. We all learn from out  mistakes. I think we have put stuff up that we kinda wished we had not. It is what it is. This is just like everything else in life. You get advice from people you want it from and those that you don't want it from. The best part about the board is that you can turn it off. Unplug it and walk away. You can't really do things like that with your job or relatinoships. (sometimes you can if your lucky)  But, if you feel that you need to leave the board, then you have to do what is best for you only you.

Smile, it increases your face value.

cajungirl
on 5/25/09 5:27 am
Jeri, I agree with Kathy.  We have to take what we want and just let the rest go on any online board, not just OH. 

It's unfortunate that you feel you have to leave, I do wish you the best.  Find yourself right now, find your happiness and enjoy yourself.  As I stated before, happiness won't find us, we have to seek it out.

I wish you the best.

Proximal RNY Lap - 02/21/05

 9 years committed ~  100% EWL and Maintaining

www.dazzlinglashesandbeyond.com

 

Sarah448
on 5/25/09 5:47 am - Friendswood, TX
Jeri, I don't see anyone here telling you how to live your life.  I just see people responding to your post asking for advice.  And that is all advice is - suggestions - they have no power over you.  Some advice you will feel "in sync" with and some you won't agree with at all.

I just wanted to thank you for your support when I was a newbie post-op.  It meant a lot to me and really helped me in my WLS journey.

Sarah

(deactivated member)
on 5/25/09 6:14 am - Somewhere IN, TX
Oh, Jeri....

In this wonderful world of addictions.... this is ONE of them... you'll lurk..and read.... and then someday you'll get back on... because we are better than chocolate... where else can you get such drama and comic relief tied in with good information?

There's not a one of us who hasn't felt the same way....

Go do something else... come in when you want to and share what you dare.

Enjoy.

Janet
Gina 22 years out
on 5/25/09 6:58 am - Burleson, TX

JERI-I probably should think before I speak...or at least wake up and have some coffee first, but I personally find your post offensive. Posts that "bug" me I usually ignore..but I care about you. I've seen a million of the "Good bye cruel world AKA Obesity help/TMB" posts over the past umpteen years. Those peeps nearly always "leave" to fill some need they feel hasn't been met-but they always come back-often under a different name. People who TRULY want to leave a message board..without fanfare...would just LEAVE...they wouldn't announce it. Obviously you are needing/wanting something else.

Many of us know you IRL, and yes, you have told us "stuff". I personally would never use any info AGAINST you, and do not know anyone else who would either. It's very possible someone has said something to you I know nothing about-I have been busy "outside the box" and haven't been able to be here much lately. When you throw yourself "out there" for advice or whatever, chances are you're gonna GET IT...and if a person truly cares about you, that "advice" may not be all fairy farts and rainbows. YOU know ME-probably much better than I know YOU, and you know I have no reason to lie to you or desire to hurt you.

An "OH Break" may be just what you need...but didn't you just take one? Did it help? Like KATHY said about "getting what you put it in"....I find regular LIFE is like that too. I deal with pain/death/dying/sadness on a daily basis. If I let things like peeps on a message board define how I should think/feel/act....I'd never be able to get out of bed or leave the house...

Okay...worked all night...now I REALLY neeed coffee!!

Wishing you all the best!

RNY 4-22-02...

LW: 6lb,10 oz SW:340lb GW:170lb CW:155

We Can Do Hard Things

cajungirl
on 5/25/09 7:14 am
Great post Gina!  I agree with you 100%.   It's so true when someone post a "good bye post" usually they aren't really wanting to leave, they need some type of confirmation/acceptance/support to get beyond whatever they feel is missing or is bothering them. 

We've all put ourselves out there in some manner, so do more, some less.  What we each need to realize is that there are many different personalities on any online board, not just OH and if you ask for validation, support, information of any kind then you are opening yourself up for a multitude of different answers.  Some you may like, others you may not and still others might totally **** you off.  You have to take what you can, and leave the rest alone.  There is absolutely no reason to keep whining or complaining about the answers.....it's just words and yes they can hurt sometimes but it's life.

I try to teach my boys that life is what you make of it and you get out of it what you put into it.  You will feel demeaned, hurt, not accepted, and then there will be understanding, love, acceptance.  Take what you can out of it and learn....if it doesn't work for you then leave it alone, but LEARN something out of everything you get.

Now, I'm going to make me a pot of coffee too and start our burgers.  BBQ

Proximal RNY Lap - 02/21/05

 9 years committed ~  100% EWL and Maintaining

www.dazzlinglashesandbeyond.com

 

Gina 22 years out
on 5/25/09 7:22 am - Burleson, TX
Well said, DANA. As in life, some on these message boards are "givers", some are "takers", and some are a "combo". We are all different. The weight thing brought us together, but it doesn't make us all twinkies (except maybe me and you--you stay in my head WAY too much!). We all have different needs/levels of support, etc. Some will keep asking the same questions until they get the "answer" they WANTED in the first place, then run with it...sigh....thus the vitamin saga goes on...lol....All we can do is take it for what it is-a means of COMMUNICATION. Love you, my Cajun sister (even if you do eat okra and crawdads!)

RNY 4-22-02...

LW: 6lb,10 oz SW:340lb GW:170lb CW:155

We Can Do Hard Things

cajungirl
on 5/25/09 7:41 am
even if you do eat okra and crawdads!Laughing 2

And yes we are two peas in a pod, scary sometimes isn't it.  I love and respect you probably more than anyone else on this board.  Some of us tend to really mesh, others don't.  But it doesn't mean I don't care or love anyone else....it just means we understand each other more.

MWAH!

Proximal RNY Lap - 02/21/05

 9 years committed ~  100% EWL and Maintaining

www.dazzlinglashesandbeyond.com

 

beckyhagens
on 5/25/09 7:12 am - New Braunfels, TX
jeri,

You said you were venting; you asked if anyone else felt the way you did.  We agreed that we did. Me, Dana and a few others.  what did you want us to say?  Yes, we do, now let's all feel sad and stay that way.. OR, could we SUPPORT each other, recognize what we need to do to get out of our vitamin, water, protein, diet rut and learn to now live our lives and learn and grow and thrive and make the most of our new improved lives.

The board isn't the way it was way back when and never will be the same because the people on this board have to learn and to grow and become diverse and agree to disagree and still support each other.Supportive people do know what is going on and care enough to respond.  If we didn't care, why bother responding and relating. 

Good luck with your work, your life and your struggles.  I do hope you find someone who will support you they way you WANT to be supported. And we will be here when you come back to support you, just like we are now.


Becky

forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different

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