Getting past the mental part....suggestions?

This is going to be kinda of a crazy post, please bare with me.  There will be some wows, but some sadness as well - but I am looking for answers, suggestions, a swift kick (maybe?).  Not really sure...

I have lost 75 pounds!!!  What a great accomplishment!  I have lost over 50 inches off my entire body! I can't believe I am here, or even the ride that has occured to get me here.  You ask then what has you down....I have been at the number on the scale for at least 3 weeks (yes I know, only a couple of weeks, but ugh, what to do).  Then I let my mind go --

"you have never been smaller than this in your adult life" - very true statement self!  BUT, I can be smaller -- HOW DO YOU GET THIS OUT OF YOUR MIND AND PUSH PAST THIS ROAD BLOCK? I feel like I am stuck for a reason, because maybe this is as small as my body wants to go (no this cannot be the case because there are many of you that have lost more, and weigh less than me!!!!)

"why do you want to be smaller, everyone thinks you have lost too much" - so I think I have offended a friend that had lap band over 18 months ago.  I have lost everything she did in less than 4 months, and I am 45lbs from my goal, and she still has a ways to go.  Plus everyone keeps saying "you are so tiny" - I dont see that!!!! HELLO, where is the skinny? Do you see my arse? Why can't I see the person in the mirror?  Yes I have taken pictures, and yes I have looked at them, but still....I dont see "me" in the mirror.

Why can't I just accept their compliments and say "thank you" period, nothing else, not "thank you, but...........blah blah blah" WHY? 

I am just frustrated with myself and the self talk.  I know it is hurtful, and there are ways to deal with it, and I am. Not sure, what I need.  I just need to vent.
Thanks for letting me vent...

My advice:     seek out a therapist. 

Being overweight over a lifetime.....speaking from my experience and from 3 years on this site......I've seen the emotional damage......in myself and in others that being fat causes.  

I've seen countless posts of people who have reached their goal weight.....and their life isn't "fixed" and they're devastated.   Their marriage is still broken, the skin is sagging, there are still financial problems, their family still won't love them unconditionally.

Losing the fat doesn't fix it.

We talk so much about the physical aspect and overlook the mental aspect of the WLS journey. 

Seek out a therapist and keep going until you reach your goal.  As we shed the weight, issues arise that maybe we've never had to deal with before.  We no longer want to be invisible when we walk into a room.  Often we've never received postitive feedback from the opposite sex and when that day comes.....as much as we longed for that.....It can be hard to know how to handle it as well as the emotions that result.

So, that's my advice.  Therapy. 

Mary Jo Rapini's fave saying is "the docs operate on our bodies but no our heads".

Get thee to a therapist even if it's one session........then find a really good support group either here or face to face.

The head part takes a lot of work and a long time to work thru.  You are NOT ALONE!!!

Good luck!!

Trish, I agree with Terry and Barbara find a therapist to work through the situation.  It does get better (I know you don't feel that now) but even at 4 years out I have good and not so good days of seeing the changes.

We do tend to over-analayze and expect perfection.  Find the happy medium and keep working through the negative talk.  Get in front of the mirror and tell yourself you love you.

Hugs,

I ditto the suggestion for a therapist.  But I want to tell you that you are not alone.  This is sooooo very normal for us...losing weight so fast our minds can't keep up with our bodies.  It takes a long, long time for you to really SEE the real, but new, you.  Just give it time.

As far as losing, 3 weeks is nothing.  It's just a plateau and a place for you to adjust along the way down.  Make sure you're still on plan...logging your food and exercise will help you identify any slips or bad ahbits that might have crept in when you weren't looking. 

And for those who are concerned with your weight...remember, they are adjusting to the new you too.  Their minds also need time.  Just say thanks.  Ignore them.  Erase it from your mind and do whatever you and your doctor have agreed is healthy for you.  They mean well and they don't even realize that their remakrs can hurt, just bare with them.  It gets easier for them, too.  If not, and you do see a therapist, perhaps you can all go in together and discuss your hurts and needs. 

Congratulations on your success!  You've done an amazing job!! 

Tawnya

I remember the therapist telling me when I had an interview with him before surgery that it can take your head up to 5 years to catch up with your weight loss.  So even though you have lost all this weight and are well aware of it since you are used to seeing a bigger person that is who your head still sees.

I would also go to a therapist, I have been told repeatedly by friends who have had the surgery that this is just a tool and you still have to fix your head.

Good Luck and you are doing WONFERFUL!!!

Chrissy

Yall would all be proud -- already in therapy!  Been going way before surgery.  All the post on this message board said I needed something prior to the surgery, so I took the adivce and did it. 

Thanks everyone for your posts!  I just need the swift kick, and to remember I am really not alone in this. 

Not a swift kick.....just a gentle nudge!!!  and then a great big {{{{HUG}}}}

You are definitely not alone and believe it or not, someone has gone thru or is going thru what you are experiencing.

Please don't isolate!!!  AND come back and let us know how you are doing!!

Trish, glad you are seeking therapy.  Keep talking through your feelings and learn skills to cope.  So many of understand and are still going through or have gone through what you are feeling.  Hang tight and keep pushing.

I am over 5 years out and still can't "see" what I look like ...really....I look at a picture of me now and say??? that isn't me...I am bigger in the mirror...and in my mind...it is a never ending struggle to get too where you see what you really are I think. And once the oh wow you look greats wear off...(and they do) you are stuck trying to figure it out alone without the never ending compliments and comments...so you are doing the right thing crossing this bridge now and asking for support...I think this is all part of the process we go through...and  you will get through it...congrats on the weight losss--I think it is fantastic!~~~