Sadly

My new year didn't start how I thought it would. After 8 years, my husband, whom I thought loved me very much moved out and is filing for divorce. I cannot think straight much less get online.. my mind is a blur...of the last 8 years... and I am really struggling here. I am completly homebound, and cannot work and still haven't had my disability hearing.... he was just waiting to see if I got it for him to leave.. but I guess he just figured he might as well just leave now... I have no money and no way to support myself. I will loose my apartment that we shared for the last 8 years.... he says he isn't paying the rent past this month.. and I don't have the money to pay for it... so he is essentially throwing me out on the street. I am calling legal aid tomorrow and am going to the human resource office but I doubt that they can give me any assistance since I have not been found completly disabled. Prayers for you all as you have your lives renewed and I will hopefully someday be able to join you all on the loosing side. As for now I have had to cancell all further doctors appointments and such... so nuff about me... Love you all and God bless each of you. ps you all will notice my name has changed. this is my maiden name... I will be going back to it when he divorces me... so I went ahead and changed it. Tina

Tina, My heart is with you, this same thing happened to me ..29 yrs. ago.I was married 11yrs, and out of the blue he left with a woman he worked with, leaving me with 2 kids, and a heartach that I never thought I'd live with. Well I did, and the kids are raised, not to say it was easy, but it got done. To add insult to injusry, He canceled my WLS that was planned for 1 month later. So it took me 28 yrs. to get the surgery, and it took that to close the book on that part of my past !!. I had never worked, lost the house we had built 3 yrs. earlier, had no car.....all the struggles...YOU CAN DO IT !! When it hurts, let it ....cry if you need to, kick things (not people lol), throw things..scream, let it out, don't hold it in. While you grieve the loss of your marriage and the man you love, keep taking one step forward after another,each step gets you farther away from the pain! You go girl....you can do it.

Tina, I am very sorry to hear about your divorce. I agree with Billie. Dont hold it in. That will only make it worse. We are here for you as much as we can be. You will be fine. In fact, you will be better than fine. You do not need someone like him in your life that doesnt want to be there. I know that it will be the hardest thing to get through but you need to know that YOU will be the one coming out of it stronger. He will find out that "What goes around, comes around". Stay strong. Pray about it and look to you strengths to get you through. Afer 8 years, I am sure that you can get alimony for a length of time to help you out some financially. Stay strong and dont hold it in!! Misty

Tina, Please know I am thinking about you and praying for you. Love and prayers, Beth

Hi Tina, I just wanted to give you a big hug! ****hugs***** You still have your disability hearing right?? Focus on preparing yourself for that so you can win your case. Show that ex of yours that you don't need him. I agree with everyone else....don't keep everything bottled up...let it out. My thoughts and prayers are with you. April

Hi Tina, I agree with everyone, don't hold it in. I do understand your fears. My husband asked for a divorce the day after Christmas and left me with a 4 & 2 yr olds. You will get thru this, it will take time but you will come out the winner. Keep your chin up, and do this. Don't get angry get even. Make sure you get alimony, and if you have children child support. Every two years you can get your child support increased. There's places out there to help you, so start with your Human Resources (welfare office) they can help you with food stamps, and maybe able to help with some money. You're in my prayers, with love, Kathy

Tina, If you do nothing else, get some legal advice immediately. Legal aid can help you. Don't think that you have nothing or no rights. That is not true. Until the divorce, I think he is responsible for your bills. I can't stress this enough - get legal advice now. Don't count out wls yet. It may still be possible. You have a joint checking/savings account? Clean it out and open one in your name only. Have a credit card? Use it. Grocery stores accept it. Doctor's accept it. It's time to get mad. You are a young woman. You have the whole world ahead of you. Go for it. Good luck, Mary

Tina, I know this is a very hard time for you right now and my heart goes out for you. Hold your head high and never ever give up. Either call or get someone to take you to your local human service office and tell them you want to apply for whatever assistance that they can give you. Let them know that you have no income coming in and applying for disability. Ask them to get you in ASAP! I wish you lots of luck. If you feel the need to talk to someone who has went thru things along the lines of your problems, just email me at [email protected].

It is day three AF after forever ... forever being the day that he said he would love me til. Did you know forever was January 1, 2006, me neither till this happend! So, this is day three AF (after forever) and I am doing as well as can be expected I think. I am going to human services on Friday. I am hoping that they can help me. Just to let you all know, I cannot have children. You can read my profile to see why.....so it is just me I am fighting for... I am glad I am not putting a innocent child through this. Thank you all for your unending support. I really appreciate it so much! Tina

Okay, I know that you don't know me from Adam. But, Baby I've been there. You have rights and I know that you are hurting but you will get mad eventually. You are dependent on him and he has been supporting you for a long time. He claims you on his taxes right? I had my rent, car payment and alimony!!!! He lived in a motel! Concentrate on the disability too. He will try to get a chunk of it but the weasel can't have it!! He deserted you and broke a contract!! That is how a legal marriage is viewed in our court system! I know it sound harsh and is easier said than done but girl I am outraged and p*ss#@ off for you! You were strong enough to make the decision to have wls then you are strong enough to get through this! Call your local churches to see if they can give you rental assistance but most importantly call an attorney asap! Legal Aid sucks! Any good attorney can have all attorney fees and court cost put back on the weasel...why??? Because he broke the contract!!! We are sending lots of love and prayer your way tonight....and lots of hopes that he gets a vile case of the crabs! Sorry if I offended anyone but this crap is just sorry as hell! Christy Light