Question of the Day?

It is Friday!!! . I am sooo Happy. After today, I am off from work for vacation until next Thursday. Whooo hoooo. Ok, thats enough excitement. Here is today's question: If you have had or plan to have WLS, do you tell others you have had it? Others as in, a future significant other or friends from your past that you come in contact with again after you lose weight. I am primarily asking this question because I have no idea what I would do. Since I am married, I hopefully do not have to worry about telling a future boyfriend/husband. But if I was not married and got into a committed relationship after having surgery and losing weight, I am sure that I would tell the other person. For two reasons, one for medical purposes and the other reason is because I would not want to be committed to someone who could not accept me no matter what size I am, was, or will be. As far as friends, if someone recognized me and asked how I lost weight, I am not sure what I would say. I think medical procedures in general and WLS are a personal matter and I am not sure I would tell them. Of course my family and closest friends to me now will and do know. I am not sure I plan on telling my co workers- only the ones that have to know. I am sure everyone will have different opinions and I am curious to hear from post-op and pre-op people to see what you would do. Is there a right or wrong way? Thanks everyone for contributing. Misty

Hi Misty I think that it would depend on the situation If that person is trustworthy and I felt that they needed to know then maybe I would consider telling them. This is actually a personal decision that one would make. Sometimes I think that it's best not to say anything to a person who might use it against you later There is no right or wrong way but rather a personal decision. My .2 cents worth........ Take Care ML

Hi Misty, I only told a couple of people before I got approved for surgery. I didn't want them worrying about me, or I didn't want to have to explain why I didn't get approved. I know it sounds , but I am the type of person that likes to make everyone happy, before I take care of myself. For the first time in my life, I'm putting me first. Now that I have a date; I'm telling the entire world. I am so blessed to have such a fantastic support group. My friends and I are going to tomorrow night to celebrate. Have a great day, Beth

Misty - I've told anyone and everyone. If someone asks how I've lost the weight, I tell them. If someone says to me "you look great, what have you been doing?" I tell them I've lost 100 lbs. If they ask how I did it, I tell them I had surgery. Before surgery, I was very open about it and told my co-workers, boss, etc, and just about anyone else who would sit and listen to me talk. This has been such a huge life altering event that I was very ready for so I've talked about it openly and freely with just about everyone. As far as getting into a committed relationship, I don't think I'd open with "well I used to weigh 300 lbs and had wls surgery..." That would be a conversation I would wait to have until I had an idea how committed the other person was to the relationship. It's easy to make excuses for not eating a lot, ate something before and just not hungry, don't feel well, don't see anything on the menu I really like, too excited to eat... It is a very personal decision to pursue wls and I know it's sometimes perceived in a negative light. People who don't have the issues that drove us to this decision will probably not understand that we did it to save our lives. Save our lives in more ways than one. There is of course the physical aspect, the lost weight, the relief of certain medical problems. But there is also the mental and psychological aspect that a person who has been normal weight all their life just won't understand. So, tell people if you want or not tell them. Just don't let anyone make you feel shame for having had the surgery. There is no shame to seeking the medical help you need to get well. Hope that helps. Toni

Hi Misty, It's true that the responses you get from this question varies so much. Personally, I chose not to tel anyone. WLS is a very personal decision (even though others feel they should have say so over what your decision should be****il they have walked in my shoes and experienced my journey they way I have they may never understand MY CHOICE. I mentioned my interest to a few friends and a couple of coworkers and received such negative responses from it being purely cosmetic to taking the easy way out. That's very discouraging for someone trying to improve and prolong their life by achieving a healthy weight. So long story short, I chose not to tell. I pusued the surgery without anyone elses knowledge or consent except my Mom, 1 coworker, and friends who have had the surgery. While in the hospital I told a cousin and an aunt. that's it. No one else knows (unless they read this board). I told my supervisor I was having a surgical procedure done and in my opinion that's all he needed to know (of course and how long I would be out). If I ever meet someone and the relationshi******ious, I feel that person has a right to know. If they have a problem with my decision then at least they will have the option to leave or stay before a permanent commitment is made. That's my short response (lol). Lisa