Struggling with myself

Hello Everyone...I am really struggling with myself! I am on week 2 of Chantix as well as healthy eating before my surgery. I am here at home all day except to go to store or doc. I am bored as hell!!! NO motivation at all. I can talk the talk all day long but WHY can't I seem to walk the talk.? I know i have to be smoke free and healthy somewhat for surgery. I know this but getting there seems impossible! Well today it seems impossible. I wake up thinking of food and a smoke. Had to go grocery shopping yesterday...did NOT buy a pack of smokes. But I did smoke 2 yesterday from a neighbor. It is driving me nutts that I have disapointed myself and my family once again. 
Ok gotta go wipe the tears.

So the question is:
How did you kick yourselves in the ass to  get where you needed to be?

I don't know about the smokes part but the eating part is hard. I guess I wanted the surgery more than I wanted the food I was craving.

Maybe this will help motivate you,,,some surgeons check for nicotine in the blood before starting surgery. How wouold you feel if he cancelled your surgery because you had had a smoke or two?

Good luck,
Holly

Thanks Holly....I do know my surgeon does require me to have quit 30 days before surgery. That is why I am trying to quit now and not in October or November. I don't have a surgery date yet and have had 4 visits of 6 so far.

Thanks for the luck.

Let me preface this by saying that I smoke for 20+ years and took chantix to help me stop also.  I have been smoke free since July 2007.

No matter how many drugs or alternatives you try to stop smoking, you will not stop until you are ready.  Make that decision and stick with it.  The bad has to out weigh the good or you will never convince yourself to stick with it.  The same will be true to achieve a healthier lifestyle, preop and post op.

Bruce and Holly you are both soo right! I have to decide just how important my health is to ME. I have to just do it!
Thank You Both!