STUNNED and NUMB - just lost a good friend

I'm in a state of shock - totally numb right now folks.  I got a call about 45 minutes ago that a good friend of mine passed away this morning. He had his gastric bypass surgery 6 weeks ago Monday. He had a couple of minor issues, but was doing great the last 2 or 3 weeks. He was so excited because he had already lost 53 pounds and was already down to just 1 insulin shot a day. His wife couldn't get him to wake up this morning.  She said he was running a slight fever last night, but otherwise said he felt fine. They don't know exactly what the cause of death was yet.

Before his surgery, we talked a great deal about it. I toldd him that it was a personal decision, but that I would do it again tomorrow. He told me that I was "an inspiration" and "role model" to him, and that he wanted to be as successful as I have been after his surgery. He said he couldn't wait until the Doc let him start working out with me. He was so upbeat and positive and really looking forward to his new, healthier life. We had already made plans for a couple of motorcycle trips later this summer and this fall. 

DAMN IT ALL!!  I'm really shook up about this - I feel empty and awful -  almost have a sense of guilt about this.

Say a few prayers for him and his family, would you?

Oh my goodness I will be praying for his family and for you! That is my biggest fear since I am having surgery on June 30th.

Angie

Bob, I am so terribly sorry to hear about your dear friend! We are all aware that death can happen, but we do not hear of many nor know someone who has passed. It is devastating; he left a wonderful wife, friends who loved him. All of you will be in our prayers

I am so sorry to hear that Bob. It made me think "that could easily have been ME!". I will keep you and the family in my prayers.

 Bob,

   hugs for you.  I am so sorry for your loss.  It is very sobering to hear.  We all know there are risks to this surgery but it is very easy to think that I am not that 1 in 200 or whatever the statistic is.  


There is no easy way.  I'm so sorry.

Oh Bob, I'm sooo sorry for your loss. I wasn't your fault, and I am sure
he wouldn't want you to feel like this. Prayers for you and his family!!

 Oh, Bob.  I'm so sorry and can't imagine what you our your friend's family are going through.  I'm so sad this happened, but I am glad he felt the joy you talked about with his upbeat and positive attitude.

I understand having a sense of guilt, but you really need to let that go.  Guilt is about intent and you did nothing more than share your experience.  Ultimately it was his choice to have the surgery, and with that decision, take the risk.  I'm sure he wouldn't want you to take on a burden of guilt in addition to the grief.  So be nice to yourself.

You're all in my thoughts and prayers during this tough time.  Hang in there.  And remember, you ARE an inspiration!


Denise 

Bob, you are in my prayers, as well as your friends family. 

May God Bless and Keep each of you and give you the peace you need to know you should not be feeling guilty!

HUGS
Amy

Bob--my prayers go out for you and your friends family.  Very sorry to hear such sad news.

I had known him for several years. His wife ran the day care where our grandkids have gone since they were born - over 8 years now. We had really gotten to be good friends in the last several months.  He had already decided to have WLS and had been on his pre-surgery loss diet when he approached me about it. He knew I had it and began questioning me about the process, life after surgery, etc. We struck up a really great friendship. Also, we both like to ride motorcycles and had planned a couple of short trips in the next few weeks, plus he and his wife and me and my wife were planning to ride the motorcycles to Florida in Sept.  We, both couples, had a lot in common and all just hit it off really well.

While they don't know the cause of death yet, I'm pretty sure they will do an autopsy. I think it's mandatory in Alabama whenever someone dies unexpectedly and unattended. The thing that I wonder is since he had a low-grade fever for a few days, could he have had some kind of infection from his surgery. We'll just have to wait for the official finding though. Regardless of the cause, it really sucks to lose a friend like this. I'm totally bummed out over this.  I can only imagine how his wife, kids and grandkids feel. They were all so excited for him and his "new life" that he was embarking on. 

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers folks. And thanks for being here to listen.