Unsupportive family

Latasha, I will tell you that in the future, after your surgery , your life will change very much.  All the hurtful words, all the unsupport, all of that will fade in comparison to all the wonderful things that you are about to go through.  Many of us here can tell so many stories of how our lives have changed, the small things, the big things...  as a result of having the surgery.  It really gave us our lives back. 

I'm not saying that your family will come around.  They may never.  But when you lose the weight, and you are able to experience new things and enjoy life, all those other things will not be able to steal away the joy and wonderful moments that you will go through.

Hugs to you today, my friend.  And know that you have a group full of folks here who know what you are about to go through, both negative and positive, and we are on the other side saying "You can do it!" and that we are here for you when you need to talk about these things. 

 I want you guys to know I have had the same response from  my dearest friend. I had told her about the wls when I first started researching  it. She never really said a whole lot about it , but just as soon as I got approved everything changed. She lives in Walland and i live in Madisonviile which is about 30minutes away. Before I called her about the surgery date we talked every day and now she dosen't call at all. So I finally called her and she was so mean about it, so at that point I finally told her that , I Love her very much just like a sisterbut this is something I had to do for my self. And if she can't accept it that i'm really sorry,and i hope she oneday will understand why i had to do this for me. That has been about 2 wks ago, and she still hasn't called. and after that all I can do is pray about it. GOD will take care of that and he will for you to. Sometimes we really have to do things for ourselves,and try not to concern ourselves with the negative.

Wow, I have support from everyone in my family and all my friends.
Why would they not want you to be healthy and happy? I know it
can be scarey for them to lose someone, but sending someone
into surgery with all the bad vibes ,well that is just Wrong. I am so
sorry this is how it is with some of you guys. You've got us.

Wow, guys!  I am reading these responses with tears overflowing.  Thank you so much for your support and kind words!  My mother is a little bit overweight, but my sister could be a supermodel.  She has her own set of struggles associated with her beauty (not feeling valued, etc.) and I have really supported her from the cradle on up!  Her twin (my supportive sister) is moderately overweight, but exercises and is working hard on food choices.  I think the feeling I'm struggling most with right now is almost betrayal.  I need them and they have denied my feelings, turning away from me.  I love them and am saying prayers for their hearts to soften. Thank God for my dear husband (he doesn't have his date yet, but we're working on it!).  I haven't told any friends yet, I guess after my mom and sister's reactions I am a bit burned.  Latasha- I am so sorry for you not having anyone with you...what hospital in what city will you be? 

You just keep holding your head high. You and only you have made this decision and you know what is best for you. My best friend of 40+ years was not supportive of me from the very begining, she too was overweight, but was not/has not done anything about it. When I would talk about it she would just try to find all the negatives about it. I had went to all the hospitals seminars trying to get all the information that I possibly could before surgery, I would ask/beg her to go with me, she never did. She was there for me when both my sons where born and during my divorce, but she was not there for me for my WLS.........go figure. We sometimes talk now, but nothing like we use to. We don't do anything together like we use to. I do miss her, but I have mixed feelings when I do see her. I have even invited her to some of the Dinner Club and Lunch Bunches, again she allways had a excuse. So now when she calls I don't even bring it up unless she does. I wish you the best of luck. We are here for you, so whenever you need to vent, by all means go for it. We all have at one time or the other. What part of TN are you in? What is the closet big city to you? Me and hubby sometimes take day trips just to get away from things.....who knows we might be heading your way sometime.

Cheryl

My mother keeps flip-flopping on her stance.  One day she says she'll support me no matter what my decision is and the next she tries to discourage me.  My step father, husband, grandmother, and aunt are all for.  There's always one bad apple to spoil the bunch!  I have just made up my mind that I do not want the health problems my mother has(diabetes, high blood pressure, arthritis) and am doing this so my child will have a healthy mother that can actually do things with him instead of watching him do things like my mother did me.  I want my husband to have a healthy wife tht isn't grumpy all the time because my back and legs hurt all the time from carrying around 200 extra pounds, and I want my grandmother to have a grand daughter that actually feels like getting out of the house and coming to visit her. 

You just have to make up your mind to make yourself healtier and happier, not your mother.  Don't worry about the what-ifs!  What if you walked outside and got hit by a car?  But you still go outside don't you?  Exactly.

You have all of our support no matter what!