Discouraged

I've been reading more and more that I'm only going to lose no more than 80% of my excess weight.....I need to lose 173 overall and this really discourages me...and if I do make it goal, I'm scared to death of regaining....is RNY not all its cracked up to be?

Maybe this is just me having a negative day but this keeps weighing on my mind...

I am sorry to hear that you are discouraged!  I hate it when folks are down...  but hopefully the responses to this thread will cheer you up!  We have plenty of folks on this forum who have lost more than their 80%.  As a matter of fact, some have lot ALL of their weight and also, surpassed their goals.  And, kept it off!  It all depends on how you work the tool.  While the surgery has its honeymoon phase, if a person truly changes their eating/lifestyle habits and is vigilant in following the bariatric rules, they will succeed.  I cannot promise that you will lose every single pound that you want to lose, because perhaps your goal may not be appropriate for your body structure.  For example, a person who is 5'4 and wants to weigh 130 lbs might be more realistic than someone who is 5'9 and wants to weigh 130 lbs.  Perhaps the 5'9 person would look best at 165. 

I believe that doctors give this number because of the "averages", or the statistics as a whole in the weight loss community.  There are always going to be those who surpass the goal, and yes there are also always folks who never even meet the goal.  But, either way, remember that your MAIN goal is to be healthy, not skinny.  While skinny is a nicety, healthy is the first goal. 

I encourage you to go to the before/after pictures section on Obesity Help.  You will be GREATLY motivated and uplifted in looking at these success stories.....

Mel gives good advise I do think they want you to pick a weight that's realistic so to avoid disappointment. I can say for me I hit goal weight in 5 months and surpassed it by 19 lbs., now saying that I've not prove myself with the test of time, I'm 10 months out. But I have seen a great improvement in the life style changes I've made and know they are genuine. So time will tell and what your willing to put into it  will determine how well you do. Is it all that its cracked up to be? Well for me it exceeded my expectations. C'ya Bob

Thank you so much!! I'm 5'4 and have set a goal of 145 which is the high end for me, according to the BMI charts. My surgeon won't set a goal wt for me until my BMI does get below 30 (I started at 54.2 and its currently 38.1). My exercise person at the dr's office also reiterates focusing on the healthy positives rather than a number and 99% of the time, I do just that.

I feel great and will keep on truckin'...thanks for you responses!

Hi Kitten, 

 

Don't be discouraged sunshine...  It is all good...  LOL 

 

My mom tells me that everytime I say "It's all good" that I am covering something up...  LOL...  I ignore her too...  LOL...

 

Sad to say but what you read is true....   Some people do regain or not lose all their weight loss potential cause the do not change their lifestyle....  WLS is not a cure for Morbid Obesity.....  It is a tool...   And only a tool...  If you do not follow your surgeons instructions from the onset then yes, I am afraid you are not gonna lose all you can during your honeymoon phase... 

 

However, if you follow your surgeons plan to a tee....  My surgeon had an awesome plan and if it was not on the list it did not pass my lips...  Then you will be in that 100% percintile that we all achieve to be.....  I lost 165 pounds during my 2 year wls journey and I owe it all to my WLS support team......  

 

Don't be afraid of the unknown.  When you abide by all your selected surgeons guidelines you are a winner...  Only you know if you are in compliance or not...  It is up to you sunshine...

Hi hon, sound as though you are hav'n one of those days, we all have them. don't ever apologize for that, but it's alright, I started out at 326lbs and 5'4"   You can do this dear heart, it can be don't. It has taken me longer, but that's alright, I still got about 27 lbs to get off, I was look'n at 37 but if I get to far off there won't be anything for the plastics docs, to hold on to. LOL.  I was 183lbs this morn. Hope this helps.
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Barb

Gosh, I hate that you are discouraged.  You have a great surgeon and a great team.  Follow what they tell you to do, go to support groups, talk to people.  You are doing great.  I have not lost all my weight.  I still need to lose 32 pounds and I am 13 months out. I have lost 80% of what I was overweight almost exactly.  Am I satisfied, not really.  I am still working on the last 32 pounds.  But...if I lose not another pound, I will be ok.  I am MUCH healthier than I was, and I have gone from a size 28 to a size 10.  Just because you don't lose 100% of the weight, does NOT mean you or your surgery are failures.  Just think how much better you feel now than before surgery.  I really encourage all fairly new postops to really take advantage of this "Golden time" within a year of surgery.  This is the time of greatest loss, and the time that you need to learn new eating/coping/exercising skills for when it gets really hard to lose after a year. You are doing great, keep it up!  Do you go to the support group at Fountain City?

HI!!

I've never been to the Fountain City Group....I have been to Oak Ridge, Lenoir City, and Parkwest. I try to go to at least one per month but working two jobs, it gets so crazy sometimes! I honestly do feel that I am doing everything my surgeon told me to do and I know that if I never lost anymore, I am in a much better place.

Thank you all for your kind words and support!!

Hi Leslie!

Honey, we've all had those same thoughts before, and still have them to this day!  Here's the advice that I give all the time:

BREATHE!!!!

You fears are my fears.  Your concerns are my concerns.  We are all in this together on a daily basis! 

I read a pretty good and thoughtful blog the other day, and it really hit home!

Year 1- 80% tool, 20% you
Year 2- 50% tool, 50% you
Year 3- 20% tool, 80% you!

You see, it's eventually up to us to make good decisions as to what food to eat.  It's up us to make the right choice to exercise. 

Take it one day at a time, we all have bad days!  Hang in there, you're doing great!