Less Than 36 Hours Away... (Cross Post)

I am sitting here in raw terror.

Don't get me wrong, I am doing this. I am not backing out. Yes, I am terrified because everything is about to change. The bottomless pit that has always been my stomach is about to be bottomless no more. And that's assuming nothing goes wrong. Something can ALWAYS go wrong, I know. So I am here, f**king terrified.

However, living like this any longer, my body becoming more and more drained and burned out by the burden of an unneccessary two hundred and seventy-five pounds is even scarier. The cycle of weakness, exhaustion and depression that my body has been in for years is killing me. Not just my body, but my spirit.

I'm not talking about my soul, nothing so unearthly as that...but my spirit, the part of me that LOVES life and sensation and excitement and discovery is being killed by obesity. What I am talking about is something more visceral than a soul. If a soul is immortal, than it doesn't really need the body. This is something entirely of the flesh, and it was always what made me happy to be me...the joy of living inside my own skin. At least to me, it is something as or more precious than my physical health.

Alright, I've got a long drive tomorrow for pre-op testing and I have a few more things to do. I will try to get on again tomorrow, and I will have you all be notified when I am switched.

Wish me well, please!


Sarah M.

Sarah,

Our prayers are with you for a safe surgery, and a speedy recovery!

Santa Scott

Sarah,
I remember almost exactly a year ago.  I was terrified too.  For a lot of the same reasons.  I wanted my life back, or I was going to die trying.  And, I got it back.  You will too.  You are in my prayers for a safe surgery and speedy recovery.
                                                                               

Sarah,
 I just had my surgery last friday and found out that it actually saved my life.....my liver was getting ready to fail......at 40 yrs old.........It is worth the fight.....change is always SCARY but this one has wonderful benefits.....hang in there and know that you have a whole army of people who have "been there/done that" willing to help you through it............sending tons of prayers your way for a speedy successful surgery and recovery............

WENDY

Hey Sarah, what you are feeling is perfectly normal. You will be fine and be on the loser's bench in no time. We will be thinking about you tomorrow as you start this step in your journey. Keep us posted as you can.

Cheryl

Sarah, hon we are holding you up in prayers, and you are gonna do just great. I can't wait to meet ya, I heard there were a couple of newbies at the Christmas party. I am really sorry that we missed it. 

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