Let Go Of Perfect Thinking (My Story)
I have tried a trillion times writing out this post to you. I played it out in my head, wrote a few notes here and there on scratch paper and pecked a few keys on the keyboard in hopes that I would be able to convey all I had to say so that it would somehow make sense to you and to me. Everything I wrote made no sense at all and then I realized that I was doing the same exact thing that I have been trying so hard to be free from. I was trying to make everything sound perfect. I was trying to make everything look perfect. I was trying to make everything appear perfect. Well my WLS support buddies, THINGS ARE NOT PERFECT!!! No one is perfect. I repeat: no one is perfect. No matter how perfect someone's life may seem, I promise you, they are not perfect. This means that you and I don't need to be perfect either. If you're feeling down because you didn't do something as well as someone else or you're not looking as great as someone else, I beg you to stop comparing yourself to others and recognize that no one is perfect.
If you are finding changes in your life to be harder than you expected them to be, I want you to know that you are not alone. Everyone struggles. Some just have more effective coping methods than others.
Truly Trina
hurt for a moment, but peace and acceptance are on the other side. So is a new beginning.
I'm glad you are in a good place now. Being honest about it and having counseling will definately help.
But like you said, no one is perfect and just because we make a mistake, doesn't mean we are not moving forward. Your reliance on God and His grace are what will help you(and the rest of us!) prevail.
Thank you for your prayers. They are much needed and greatly appreciated. Alcoholism runs in my family a great deal too. Alcohol use in particular is a concern for some Bariatric patients because the surgery can change the way patients metabolize alcohol, making it far more powerful. The RNY Gastric Bypass procedure involves sectioning off a small portion of the stomach into a pouch that bypasses the first part of the small intestine. As a result, alcohol passes rapidly into the intestine where it is quickly absorbed into the bloodstream.
You are so special and I will never forget the afternoon we were able to spend together at Ms. Sue's. I look forward to spending much more time together.
Erika, I do want you to know that I do not regret having this surgery one bit. I am thankful to God that I was allowed to have the surgery. It is a wonderful tool in my life, and has saved me from dying a slow and miserable death brought on by the co-morbidities I suffered from prior to WLS. If I had it to do all over again I would do everything the same with just a couple of these exceptions: I would try not to miss the now, I am one of those people that carry around large bags of stuff just in case, If I had it to do over again, I'd travel lighter next time. If I had it to do all over again I'd ride more roller coasters, take more photographs of my children and watch more sunrises. If I had it to do over again....
I have missed your presence and persona here on the boards deeply! With that said, I am glad you are receiving help and are feeling better! You were in my prayers daily as someone who I have grown to love as a Friend, but was MIA!
We all suffer from something! You said yourself that no one is perfect! You are so right, I'm not perfect by no means! But those imperfections are who we are. If we need help in smoothing them out, then help is what we must seek! I applaud you for your honesty, integrity, and compassion in sharing your story!
Welcome Home Trina! You were missed!
Scott
Thank you for your kinds thoughts and expressing those thoughts into words of encouragement for me. You have been a great friend over the last year and I can't begin to tell you how much your friendship means..
This support board has intimacy. The kind of intimacy that is a warm feeling of being connected to others and enjoying our connection to them. Intimacy means mutually honest, warm, caring, safe relationships. Relationships where the other person can be who he or she is and both people are valued. There is a bond, one of caring, respect and trust. I am honored to be a part of the group.
I am learning coping skills. I am learning how to apply these new life giving skills to my life as a woman, wife, mother and friend. Thanks for being my friend.
Awe... I have missed you like crazy....You are a great friend and I can't begin to tell you how much your friendship means..
Yea, I wanted to call you but things happened so fast and I had to turn over my cell phone which was an ordeal all within itself. Thank you for being there for me. I am here for you too. Thanks for being my friend.
A simple friend identifies himself when he calls.
A real friend doesn't have to.
A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his life.
A real friend says, "What's new with you?"
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings food to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
I thank God for you. And I thank God that you are on the road of recovery. My son was an addict, mostly in recovery, had been to a great treatment program and had all the tools. Now, you have the tools, please continue to work your program and use those tools, not just one day at a time, but one moment at time. Rhanx for your honesty, I imagine that was truly hard to do. I am in your corner!
Marilyn
Marilyn
Smoky Mountain Obesity and WLS Support Group
1/17 6:30 LeConte Medical Center
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. They mean more than you could ever know.
I am so sorry, I didn't know your son suffered from addiction. I knew you had lost him but I didn't know about his struggles.
You are right, I am learning to use my tools not just one day at a time but from one moment at a time. It does my heart good to talk with people that actually live on or have lived on my street so to speak.
Sharing my story was harder to do than I thought it would be. Shame is the first feeling I feel whenever I have a problem. Many of us were raised with the belief that having a problem is something to be ashamed of. This belief can do damaging things to us. It can stop us from identifying our problems and make us feel inferior when we have a problem. I am learning that problems are a part of life. So are solutions. It's okay to have problems. It's okay to talk about problems at appropriate times and with safe people. And we are okay when we have a problem. We don't have to forfeit our self-esteem or personal inner power.
Marilyn, Thank you for being in my corner......
My dear I am so very proud of you for doing what you needed to do for
yourself. I grew up in an alcoholic family and I avoid alochol usually due to
that.It takes a strong person to admit they have an addition but an even
stronger one to do something about it. You did that and you should be very
proud.I pray that you continue your way on this path of recovery and know
that you have friends who care and we are all here for you rooting and for
support.
Juanita
