Let's chatter.
Something was said yesterday (by me) that kinda stirred up a thought. I would like to toss it out and let others chew away on it for a bit. When I posted about the sugar free chocolate chips, I also mentioned that in the past, we tried to administer "disclaimers" about being careful as to what stage of your weight loss journey that you were in. We used to do that a lot. Now we dont at all because someone/people took offense at being told what to eat/not to eat. I was basically scolded and reminded that people are adults. They take responsibility for themselves,and after being educated from their doctors offices, nutritionists, counseling, etc. they should know what to eat. Point taken. No disclaimers are now made. Period. Ever.
As a matter of fact, I really do not care what people eat or not eat anymore. I have removed myself from the food police patrol, and decided that if/when a person (yes even a wls patient) wants to lose weight, he/she will follow the diet or rules that they chose. Its their own personal journey, and they can lose as little or as much as they want in their time preference. As for ME, I did it MY way... and my goal was to lose it all just as fast and furious as possible...
Now, the question is - - do people need help? When do you step in and say "Hey, you see us (other fellow wls folks) eating sugar free products, cooking and baking what appears to be normal food, but you are not at that place yet"? I have seen people come here quite clueless on what to eat... asking for protein help, recipes... if they really KNEW what their doctors programs were saying, or if they really understood their diets, would they be asking these questions?
When or should we put those disclaimers out there? Should we assume everyone knows their rules? Should we trust that they are all "adults and mature" knowing what the research says, or do we need those nudging reminders to "FOLLOW THE RULES"... and later, when maintenance i**** those rules do not necessarily get BROKEN... they do sometimes BEND, however.
What are your thoughts?
One example that comes to my mind is how we used to warn people in "weight loss mode" not to drink milk. My docs office tells me not to drink mil****il 75% of excess body weight is lost... or something like that... now, while that may sound like a given, or a known fact, there were/are people on the board *****ally do not know not to drink milk. Many do it several times a day in their protein shakes... I see people who STILL do it, who STILL do not know any better.... so do we throw out a heed, a warning, a call... "would" they stop if they knew it can stall weight loss?
I work with parents and children teaching positive behavior management. One of the aspects of our training involves different strategies and techniques. Strategy #3 states:
Present Limited Reasonable Choices
Most children are not born with the built-in ability to make decisions and then accept the consequences. Learning to take personal responsibility requires plenty of support and practice.
Now, here is where I fit in the mix. I have always said I want to be the father who teaches his son the difference in right and wrong. When my son makes a choice, I want to be there for him. If he makes a wrong choice, I will be there to help him up (only if he asks for help), dust him off and try to steer him into figuring out why this was a wrong choice. When he makes a right choice, I want to be there to encourage, support and rejoice with him. I can do everything in my power to make that choice for him, but what would I be teaching him?
So, this is where I stand on the question that has been put forth. By the way, great question Mel! I will be there for any WLS patient that asks for my help. If someone makes a poor choice in their eating habits, it's not my fault. If someone makes a wise choice, it's still not my fault. If I can help someone who needs help, I will be there.
Just like the Jackson 5 song says:
"Just call my name, and I'll be there"!
Scott
Scott, I like this:
Present Limited Reasonable Choices
Most children are not born with the built-in ability to make decisions and then accept the consequences. Learning to take personal responsibility requires plenty of support and practice.
Now here is what thought came to mind when I read it. "...requires plenty of support AND PRACTICE..." Of course, when a new postop comes out of surgery, I've always said its like a "deer in the headlights" response... like "duh.... " stuttering around wondering where on earth to go, what to do, forgetting all that you learned sitting in those classes... ITS REAL LIFE. No pen, no paper to take the test. Its where the rubber meets the road. Its kinda like how a graduate student has his degree, and then gets out in the real world... his book smarts are great and will help him, but he may stumble around trying to figure out how to put it all into practice.
That's where a mentoring program would be valuable. A new postop gets teamed up with an older postop (MIGHT I ADD, A SUCCESSFUL ONE! LOL) and gets shown the ropes, so to speak. And, in a sense,that's what this online support thing is about, right? Some of it, at least.... ? Just blurting out some thoughts in black and white that are running through my head...
!
B
