Do I tell him????

Oh OK!  Now I realize what you mean.  You think that at the seminar, they make you get on the scales, and you have to admit what your weight is? No they won't make you do anything like that!  It's actually a very relaxed setting from the 5 I have attended.  Some even serve refreshments (of which I have a funny story, I'll tell that at the end of this post).  Like Scott always says, "Breathe..."  But I like to add, "Breathe in, breathe out...  breathe in... breathe out...."  That's just in case you forget to breathe out due to stress and pass out on  us! LOL

You will never have to tell anyone what you weigh unless you want to.

Ok now my story.  When I went to a seminar, they served carbonated drinks such as Dr Pepper, Coke, Diet Coke, chips, cookies, water.  I sat there watching folks sipping their water and I got tickled.  At first, I thought, "Why is the gastric surgeon serving these foods & drinks?" Well then I realized, he probably figures you best enjoy it while you can! LOL.  So folks sat there sipping nervously on their water, and I got me a bag of chips and a coke.  I figured, Hey, the doc can tell by looking at me that I didn't get this way by drinking or sipping on water!  So let me have those babies while I still can! LOL.  Ok just a little story from the vault.

I guess it's time to get the male point of view.  Tell him!  Everyone of these women have said the same thing, he won't love you any less than he does right now.  I doubt very seriously that he will look at you and say "What?"

My wife and I have always been overweight.  I did not know how much my wife weighed until about 6 months after surgery.  At that point she was beginning to feel better about herself.  Did I love her any less, no way in H**L!!!!

Fear of the unknown is something that we all know to well.  SinDee, my advice is to tell him!

Let me share a picture with you!


And I Love this woman more today, than I did yesterday!
Scott

Thanks Mel that was a Hoot!!!!! And so true!!!!! Thanks for the male few it always helps to see what the other side thinks

Another Male point of view.
Don't sell us guys short we can be a little deeper then most give us credit for.
He loves you now and your at your heaviest it doesn't seem to be a factor.
Evidently he see's you as the person you are.
I've been married 30 years to a wonderful supportive lady, who I see the same way when we dated we've both gained a little, lost a little, gotten a little grayer (OK maybe just me!) but that is just life.
If your truly with the one your to be with well the rest is just extra! Let your heart be your guide and deceitfulness will only eat away at you. C'ya Bob

Another male opinion - I totally agree with Scott and Bob L.  Don't sell us guys short on things. The only issue with your weight is your health, which does and will affect him because he cares about you.  Who wants someone they love and care about to be unhealthy, sick, or not feel good about themselves? Nobody that I know of.

My wife and I have been married almost 37 years. I will say that when she lost weight, got in shape, and felt better physically, she had a better mental picture of herself and it showed. Her confidence and "sexiness" went through the roof, and she was much happier, smiled all the time, and handled everything much better. It wasn't so much about the "looks" (and she looked great) as it was the mental aspects of it and her improved self-image - she felt good about herself, she felt better physically, and she was happier with herself.  That made EVERYTHING better!

Tell him - honesty is the best policy.

Thanks guys I am sorry if it felt like I was selling you short I value each and every person opinion on here and am grateful to you all. I don't feel I am being decietful more like don't ask don't tell he has never asked me how much I weigh and I don't volunteer it to anyone LOL. I feel he loves me regardless and I know he is tired of me being depressed and wants me to be happy but he keeps asking if I think it will be to much trouble or if I want to go thru all the problems if I am sure it will be worth the hassel etc. I almost think he is a little worried about me losing weight he keeps saying I will support you and help you anyway I can but if you leave me........Is this normal for spouses?

Yes, all of the above is normal!

I thought the same thing.  If Beth lost all of her weight, would she find someone new and leave me?  Would she still need me to help out around here?  What would happen when she gets skinny?

All of these questions popped into my little male brain on a daily basis!  But then the most important one jumped.  What am I going to do when she dies because she is too heavy to move around?

I don't think I have ever shared this feeling that I had.  I just knew deep down that my lovely wife would not live past 50 in the state of health that she was in.  I don't know if that is cold or what.  All I know is that Beth would not survive with all the health problems that was associated with being a super morbidly obese person.  Now I see us having a long life together!

Now, to put in a different perspective, she has had the same thoughts.  Would I leave her when I become skinny?  I try my best to never use the word never.  It seems when you use the word never, it always happens.  Let me finish by saying this, That ain't gonna happen!

Sindee, you are being given a gift.  A gift of health!  A gift of new life! A gift of support!  Girl, you will do fine!

Scott 

Thank You so much Scott for sharing that with me!!!! I don't feel you were being cold it should that you were observant to your wifes needs and that you cared enough to want what was best for her. It must have been some journey the both of you doing it together but at least you had each other when times got rough and someone that did know exactly what  you where going through. As far as my gift well not so sure it's going to happen but I will post on that thanks again!!!

O.K. so I didn't come out and tell him point blank but I did in around about way at the seminar they said that my insurance would require that I lose 10% of my weight so on the way home he was like well that shouldn't be a problem cause you have always been able to drop 20 -30 lbs pretty quick  so I was like well just so you know I need to lose 23 lbs so you do the math and he didn't even skip a beat so glad that's over!!!!! Thanks for everyones advice!!!!